Residency order?

[PumpkinP]

I’m wondering if anyone can answer a few questions regarding residency orders. I have 4 children with my ex. He is absent and has been for 3 years. Doesn’t pay maintenance at all and have no idea where he is. Literally no contact. This was his choice. He is on 2 of their BC. We are going away in the summer abroad and obviously I know technically I need his “permission” which I can’t get. If I get a residency order will that apply to both children or would I have to apply for one for each? Also how long do they last? And will they inform ex that I have applied for one? Can he object to it? Thanks

Residence orders have been replaced by Child Arrangements Orders. You will be applying for a CAO saying that your children live with you.

You can apply for a single CAO to cover all your children.

Unless the order says otherwise, it applies until your children have grown up. Of course, it is open to your ex to apply for the order to be varied at any time.

The court will not inform your ex. You must do that. At the very least, you will need to show that you have made reasonable efforts to trace him and attempt mediation with him.

Yes, he can object.

I have to show that I’ve attempted to contact him? He was abusive so contact with his is the last thing I want.

prh47bridge is as ever entirely spot on...

However...

Speaking as someone who has no intention of reminding my abusive ex his kids exist, i absolutely will not be asking him for permission or to attempt to get a count order to confirm i can.

Ive travelled out and in the country numerous times since this most ridiculous guidance/rule came into being. NEVER have i been asked for a permission letter. I have been asked for original birth certs which i carry. I also carry social workers reports, marriage certificate, divorce certificate, name change cert and the last email communication with ex which paints a pretty clear picture. I have not been asked for these. I have not travelled outside the EU although i know others have

Ill reemphasis that prh47bridge's advice is the right way. But there are plenty of women in the same position doing it the wrong way without issue.

If there was abuse you will not be required to attempt mediation and you may be entitled to legal aid. However, you will have to find out where he lives and show that the papers have been served on him. You don't have to serve them yourself but, unless he really cannot be traced, he has to know that you have applied for an order and be given the opportunity to oppose your application.

The previous poster is right that many parents take their children abroad for holidays every year without the necessary consent or a court order. If you go down this route there is a good chance you won't have any problems. However, every year a few parents who try this find they are refused boarding or get to their destination and find they are refused entry. That is the risk you take.

I know what my luck is like, I will end up being one of the lucky ones! He has a severe mental illness and has been sectioned a couple of times that I’m aware of as the police have contacted me to tell me and advised that if he contacts me I should call them as he was making some serious threats about me. So I definitely wouldn’t feel able to contact him. Thanks for the advice, a lot to think about.

The court will post the paperwork to him, but unless you've demonstrated (with evidence) you've taken all reasonable steps to track him down they shouldn't issue it.

I only want it to say the children live with me so I don’t need his permission to take them away but reading about it it seems a lot of it is about encouraging a certain amount of contact. I don’t want to encourage any contact so now I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do..

The courts won't order contact unless he asks for it. Of course, it is possible that you applying for a CAO will trigger him asking for contact.

I don’t think I want to take the risk. We don’t go abroad that often so I will just hope for the best if/when we do.