Employer insisting I do a course, no childcare

[Employmentproblem]

I work a minimum wage job, part time, I've been here for a few years now. I am a single parent.

My employer has booked a training course for all the staff (except one person who has another job) this is apparently mandatory for all staff (apart from this other staff member for some reason).

It's right on school run time, outwith my hours anyway. I asked to be moved onto the afternoon course instead, and was told I would have to cover other staff in the morning anyway so either way I would have to be in.

I have never used my kids as an excuse for anything, but this course is totally not doable for me.

When I said that I was told I had time to find an alternative, then my boss suggested people I know that could possibly help (they cant, they have their own school runs to do).

I have been told that it's tough, I'll have to sort something.

What can I do about this, if anything.

It seems unfair that I have to pay out for childcare I can ill afford, if I can even find it, to do a course that another staff member doesn't have to do.

Presuming the course doesn't apply the other persons (different) job.

Does your contract mention that you need to make yourself available for training? Usually all contracts mention something around this.

The likelihood is you'll be required to find childcare to attend or face disciplinary.

Could you ask another school mum if she could pick up your children & mind them until you get home?

The other person has the exact same job as me, just has another job to fit around their hours at my work (also a good friend of the boss, I feel that's relevant here) so they have been exempt from this mandatory course.

To do what they want me to do I would need to get 4 children up and ready at 5am and drop them off to someone I barely know (I dont know a lot of people really).

I really dont know what to do here. Dont I have some sort of legal protection if I cant find childcare that's outwith my normal hours?

What time does the course start??? You wont find much childcare at 6am!
Can you find an alternative course (and not just the afternoon one) with times that would work for you?

What is the course? If it is mandatory to comply with health and safety I can see employers point.

If it’s mandatory then your boss’s chum needs to do it as well.

This sounds very unfair. Are you in a union?

What does your contract say?

Is it the early start because you’ll have to travel to the course?

Ideally a relative should stay over if you have such an early start. If you don't have a relative or good friend yourself, are there any on their father's side? (I'm assuming there's a good reason why he isn't stepping in). You might be someone who doesn't like to ask for help (I'm like that) and you have got out of the habit, but remember that often people do like to be of service. Any grandparents? What would you do if you had to go into hospital for a couple of days? It's a wake up call that you need to get out there and widen your support network.
I think you need to do the course if you don't want disciplinary/hostile environment in future. But check your contact.

I've had to juggle things around for work events, conferences and training. It's such a pain when it disrupts regular childcare arrangements but if it's not asked of you often I think you just need to suck it up. Presumably you will be paid to attend the training, so that's extra income to pay for thr childcare needed. I know that sucks but it's the way it is sometimes.

One course in a few years doesn't seem like a big ask to be honest. Is the children's dad around, could he do school run that day?

Contractually you're probably required to keep up to date with training etc.

However, there needs to be some negotiation here. If your hours are all school hours and this is outside, you can still be expected to do this, but the children are mitigating circumstances.

I would email, so there's a paper trail, explaining again that as you have set hours of x to y, finding ad hoc childcare outside of these has been impossible to manage. As well as unfairly disadvantaging you financially.

Request again for the afternoon course. In writing.

Mention that the cover of the colleague is also outside of your hours and again ad hoc childcare can not be arranged.

Reiterate that you work the set hours you do with all childcare needs covered. Unfortunately, though you relish the opportunity to have further training, as a lone parent logistics are making outside of your employed too difficult to facilitate.

Do they have a work around they can suggest....

Can the children's father look after them? Or are there any relatives who could stay over to help out?

You know what Judy - I’m sure the OP just totally forgot that she has the children’s father and helpful relatives right there ready to step in. So helpful of you to remind her

For goodness sake she clearly doesn’t have anything like that or that would be her first plan and no need for this thread!

OP has already said she can't find cover - suggesting obvious childcare candidates is what her boss did and surely something OP has already considered.

This is a minimum wage job - not some high powered career - and I would assume one of the main benefits of a minimum wage job is that you work the set hours that you're paid to do. In this case the OP could attend the training - provided she went to the afternoon session. Employer should have arranged training over more than one day to cover gaps.

However realistically I don't know what's best to do, other than keep explaining you have no childcare options and can attend afternoon course only.

Op, does the school have after an school club you could book for a one off?
Alternatively, I would tell your employer that you're prepared to do the afternoon course but cannot work the early morning shift in return due to childcare issues. Remind your employer, when the other employee is present, that they have made an exception to that employee due to child care issues.
Just check your contract first though. If it is written into your contract about out of work hours training, then you'll have to do It!

Dear me, @Hiphopopotamus, who made you arbiter of what people can and cannot ask? It's reasonable to establish whether all possibilities have been explored. In similar situations on other threads it's emerged that, for instance, there is a seemingly obvious child care solution that OP hasn't explored because they've assumed it would be impossible when it wasn't.

I am not a lawyer but I have a feeling that not making reasonable adjustments to accommodate those with caring responsibilities has been recognised as effectively a form of illegal discrimination. a reasonable adjustment of allowing you to do the afternoon course exists (if I understand you correctly) so it is perverse and unreasonable not to let you do that. but you would need a legal type to help toy write that down appropriately citing the relevant case law - if you could get that put in a letter that might push them into being sensible.

but that might not work if your contract requires you to make yourself available at other times of day according to business needs. if that is so then the onus was on you, when you accepted the job, to find options for occasional childcare that you could call on rarely when needed.

if you can't get out of this - your 4 kids don't all need to go to the same place. the oldest ones, you could ask the parents of their best friends at school if they could please host a sleepover and you will return the favour to give them an evening off. if one of them is too young for a sleepover then at least getting one little one out of the house at 5am is a lot less daunting than 4!

The thing is, if OP strongly think that you don't have to do it and shouldn't be made to, hence posting in legal, OP might not have really pursued any alternatives.

I was a single mum with no family to help and an helpless ex who I couldn't rely on but very occiasionally, I had to sort something out because of work (needing to attend a meeting far away so had to leave very early. I hated it as I didn't like to ask people for help, always felt guilty, but in reality, there were people willing to help and didn't hold me up against it.

The best help I had was from a lady who worked at the school and helped with breakfast club. She also had a child in school. We got talking and she said that she'd be happy to pick my dd up on her way if school agreed to have her as a one off to the breakfast club. I asked, they agreed. She helped me a number of times.

If you don't ask, you don't get. It's not nice to have to, but mandatory training is mandatory training, and if the session is 4h, it will always be 8 to 12pm or 12 to 4pm, so this will always be an issue.

But OP has said she can attend the afternoon session of the training. The issue is that the manager expects her to act as cover for colleagues attending in the morning. That should be managers problem to fix - not OPs.

Would it be possible to catch the first half of the course at 12-2, then join another session and catch the 2nd half of the course from 10-12? Is it on for more than one day? These things are quite often a box ticking exercise, in training at my work, it wouldn't matter if I learned the end of the course first, and the start of the course last, they just HAVE to be seen to be providing you with 4 hours training. The managers buddy though.... mmmmm..... 🤔

You have a calm discussion about this with your boss and point out that you know nobody to provide childcare in the morning, so your boss can take one of two options:

Either you do the afternoon course and the boss finds morning cover elsewhere.

Or the boss pays for a commercial childminder/babysitter to take the kids on a one-off school run (this is just a one-day course, no?).

Reiterate that you have offered two potential solutions here and it is for the boss to decide which would work best.

But also check that your contract doesn't contain some sort of horrible clause that obliges you to do training outside your normal working hours. If that is the case, and it really is just one day, I would suck it up with getting the kids to alternative care by 5am and sell it to them as a big adventure. Get a nice box of chocs as thanks for whoever's taking them. I suppose there's no way that person would have them overnight?

I agree with Diana - setting aside the issue with this particular situation and whether it's fair that the other person doesn't have to do the "mandatory" course, I think the fact you have no one to help means that you need to work on friendships and connections so you have some emergency backup for situations where you might be incapacitated. If that means hosting other people's kids for play dates and organising carpools for the school run now, then it's worth investing the time now so you have people in an emergency.

Also don't discount other people who have their own school runs. In the last 6 months I have had neighbors' kids dropped to me v early and come along on our school run twice in an emergency, and I am doing the same on Weds dropping mine at a neighbor before I go to an early flight. As long as their kids are ready and dressed, and dropped off to me, I see it as storing up favours for when I need help.

What is the course? Is it necessary for your job? Will the colleague not doing it have to catch up later?