Bit of background - Son is 11, order in place for 3 years.
Son started high school back in September 2019. November he tried out for the football team for a laugh, he's always been interested in football and played it in primary. He tried out not believing he would get picked and he did!
Now here arose the problem. Training is on a Wednesday after school, his father has him for tea each week on Wednesday and EOW for sleeps and half holidays. No big deal I thought. So I approached him in November and asked could we swap the Wednesdays for Tuesday for tea.
He said he isn't sure and he will think about it.
The coach kept sending letters home with our son trying to find out if he will accept the place. I went in and had a meeting with the coach and he said he was willing to wait until they return after Christmas break for an answer.
I once again spoke with my ex, explained the situation with the coach and explained if he couldn't do Tuesdays due to commitments he can have another day or we can add the 4 hours onto his sleep weekend with additional phone calls.
Imagine my horror when he said he could easily switch without it being an inconvenience but it's the "principle" and I Don't get a say what he does on his time nor will he accept my offers because he doesn't have to there is a court order and he's sticking to it.
When our son went back too school the coach asked will he be accepting the place on the team. Our son told me how he would really like to join. So for a final time I spoke with his Dad and got the same response.
I applied for mediation, I have attended mine and he is now giving the mediator the run around. I have got communication from his solicitor explaining if I continue to "frustrate" his bonding time with HIS son, my ex will have no choice to apply for 50/50 or full residency.
I would like to point out through this all our son has not missed 1 visitation at all.
I have just got a text off the ex saying our son has text him basically begging for him to allow him to join football, and I need to tell son his opinion doesn't matter and he has no say in this he is a child. He always told me I have no right dictating his time or trying to control him he decides what our son does on his time. If I continue pressing this matter I will lose residency.
I obviously don't want another court battle with my ex (it honestly was a battle he was a plonker through it all. He was that angry, even when I was agreeing with stuff he said, he was disagreeing with me agreeing with him!!)
- Am I being unreasonable? I'm not trying too take time away from him at all, I believe I gave a lot of other options to explore
- Would this be something the courts would entertain?
- Could he actually be able to go for residency or 50/50 because I applied for mediation and would he be successful?
His solicitor has absolutely terrified me!