Grandparent access

[user1499775533]

So, I have posted on here a few times regarding my exes mother from hell. We attended a few hearings but nothing has been resolved as she keeps increasing contact with my elder Daughter to ensure it conflicts with meeting my younger Daughter that she has never met. Cafcass have suggested 4 hours and i agree to that, there have been awful comments made to my 4 years old from the grandparent so with my younger Daughter i will be offering supervised access if the court feel it's in her best interests to see her too. Well, i recieved my witness statement from her on Friday and i nearly fell off the chair when i began reading it. She would like 8 hours a month with my elder Daughter either Saturday or Sunday, she will be picking my Daughter up once every 2 weeks when she starts school, she would like a day in the Easter holidays and boxing day and she would like the court to make special arrangements in an order for bdays and occassions and she would like the court to condider days for her taking my Daughter to the seaside etc. She has never met the baby but she has stated she'd be happy with my ex bringing her to her home for 2 hours every 2 weeks then after 6 months she'll take her with my other Daughter!!!! On her initial application she put 1 full day or 2 half days with my elder Daughter and regular contact with the baby but now it's suddenly increased massively. Do courts give them, this kind of access does anyone know?

Currently she has 2 hours a month with my elder Daughter with her dad, she took us to court in 2017 for that. She has never been denied access just fancied dragging us all through court to get it at her house away from me!!! And she has never met the baby, she has had numerous opportunities to do so and luckily i have kept all of my emails as evidence her son holds no PR either and defo wont attend court. She has also put on her statement that i stopped her son from seeing the kids because he spoke to cafcass in November. That is very strange seen as we're in the process of looking for a house together and he visits every evening after work. I really hope the court can see how troublesome she is.

I don’t understand any of this. Sorry. You have an ex who has no PR but you are seeing him every day and looking for a house with him? Is he estranged from her?

Grandparents don't get automatic legal access but a court can grant access. They'll do it in the best interest of the child through, not the grandparents.

I'd get some legal advice yourself on this and decide what you're willing/not willing to offer. Has it gone to mediation? That's usually the first step in the process.

No , he's not estranged. We were not together before or during my pregnancy and he stated he would not want PR. Probably because of his crazy mother

She's getting access, this is what baffles me. Cafcass have seen on her previous application that she applied to have contact away from our house. She's a complete control freak and a very difficult woman. Any access she would like with my baby i will be supervising to ensure no more sneaky comments can be made. Looks like she coped and pasted some bits off the internet for her statement too, she has given no background information or any relevant information. Just waffling on about if my kids don't see her they could suffer with anxieties and mental health issues etc. She stated she declined my offer of meeting both children on the day she sees the elder child as she wouldn't want one thinking she loves the other more but then states how both children must be added in the order!!!!

I actually do feel a full psychological assessment may be necessary but cafcass aren't involved now so ultimately it would fall onto the court to suggest this. She has repeated herself several times in her witness statement and it shows how desperate she is to gain orders which is what i told the police, health visitors, the courts and cafcass. She's threatened me with this for years. She comes across as so controlling and not once has she spoke about how this potential divide could damage the kids or ways to move forward and avoid orders.

Is he an ex now?

No mediation, Straight MIAMS on both occasions. The legal advisor pulled her up over that. She doesn't want to be amicable and see the children at their home as and when for a cuppa like most grannies grannies do, she wants full control and eventually to have my children with her. If she succeeds this time then in a couple of years she will go in for the big one. Her son has actually said he suspects she's trying to gradually take the children and i agree. She also put on her statement that she will be seeing her other granddaughter after school twice a month. Everything has to be so regimented. It's strange and unrealistic when kids are involved because things change

Problem is from what you've said she asked for it sounds reasonable plus everyone knows that when you request contact you ask for more

I don't know why you've started a new thread given that you refused to accept any of the advice offered on your last one.

I wish i was in a position to follow previous advice of seeking legal advice but I’m currently not in a position to do that as I have a lot of upcoming commitments plus two children that are very costly. I’m just sticking to the facts and have done that with my witness statement plus copies of emails etc. I’m sticking to the four hours a month but it will be on a Saturday instead of a weekday as it would mean she would be home far too late. Any further contact she is seeking would be proposed contact for when my daughters are much older and can have some input. I’m putting my boundaries down once and for all to ensure this doesn’t happen again. My daughters have four sets of grandparents in total. If they all made these kind of demands then my children would dragged here there and everywhere and have no stability of a home life but i don’t think the applicant considers or even understands these needs of a child