Guardianship of disabled sibling?

[AvaSnowdrop]

DM has two half sisters, Sharon and Tracey. Tracey is mentally disabled, cannot live independently and requires round the clock care and supervision. Tracey currently lives with DGM who is terminally ill. DGM wants Tracey to live with DM after she dies. Sharon has been NC for five years and has no interest in looking after Tracey despite being her full sister whereas DM is only her half sister.

DM is willing to look after Tracey and would become her legal guardian and move Tracey in with her. But our main worry is what will happen to Tracey after DM dies or becomes unable to care for her? There’s a 25 year age gap so Tracey will outlive DM who is currently 72. Who will have legal responsibility for Tracey? We’re worried that as children of her half sibling we would have no say in her welfare, and control would pass to her full sister Sharon, or Sharon’s children, none of whom give a shit. The other issue is that none of us are in a position to become carers or take financial responsibility for Tracey. So where would she go and what would our legal situation be considering our DM was her guardian?

DM is also worried about what rights this would give Tracey over her property and assets. If DM can’t look after Tracey any more she’s worried the state will say Tracey is her dependent and will seize half of her assets (that she needs to fund her own care) to fund Tracey’s care. Or if she dies the state will seize the assets she has willed to her children and use them to fund Tracey’s care.

This is a complex set of questions, I think you'd be better calling Mencap.. Or if it gets to the point where you need actual legal advice Irwin Mitchell would be the firm to go to.

Your DM could take guardianship but I’d urge her to think very carefully about whether moving her half sister in is best for either of them. Ultimately it seems residential care will be the outcome and it might be best to consider that at this stage.
I agree, contact Mencap helpline initially

DM’s attitude is “while there’s still breath in my body, my sister isn’t getting put in a home”. I doubt we can talk her out of it. I should have said, DGM’s deceased husband owned DGM’s house and left it solely to Sharon. DGM still lives there but when she dies Sharon wants her house and Tracey will be homeless. Hence her moving in with DM.

Yes unfortunately a care home will be the outcome for Tracey eventually. After DM there’s nobody else who can commit to the level of care she requires.

So DGMs husband who was Tracey's father left absolutely no provision in his will for his disabled child, instead favoured his able bodied child. Has any claim been made on his estate?

It might be an idea for your aunt to be in a residential house look up various foundations or adult social services it won't be a home but supported living would your mum be up for that?

So DGMs husband who was Tracey's father left absolutely no provision in his will for his disabled child
Exactly. Apparently he said that if he left anything to Tracey the state would just take it off her, whereas if he left it to Sharon it would stay in the family and Tracey would receive free state care.

Has any claim been made on his estate?
No. My understanding is that the house belongs solely to Sharon and Sharon is permitting DGM to stay there because she has cancer and really can’t cope with moving, and it’ll only be for a couple of years at most. But when DGM dies Sharon wants the house, because Tracey is a lot younger and Sharon isn’t willing to wait perhaps another 30 years to get her hands on her inheritance.

supported living would your mum be up for that?

They’ve tried various things for my aunt in the past. Mencap used to come and take her out, until one day she walked out of the Mencap centre and was picked up by the police because someone found her wandering the streets. Mencap hadn’t even realised she was gone. This followed two previous incidents where she was sexually assaulted by a mentally disabled man whilst in respite care, and she herself started following another mentally disabled man to the toilet and attempting to touch him. At that point the family decided it wasn’t safe for her to be in any kind of care ever again.

That is terrible your poor Aunt but somebody will need to look after her when your mum can't decent care is out there though.

Were your DGM and DGF married.. ? In which case grandmother has at least half ownership of the house. It wasn't your Grandfathers to 'Will' to your Aunt.. I would definitely seek legal advice about that one. !

What sort of support package does Tracey have at the moment? Does she have a social worker ?

Tracey gets what she’s always got - disability benefit paid to her parent or guardian, and I think mobility as well. She has a social worker but they don’t seem to do much.

DGF had the house prior to marrying DGM, it’s been in the family for a long time so I can see why he wanted it passed on to Sharon. DGM definitely doesn’t own it, they’ve had the deeds changed to Sharon and everyone seems to accept it’s hers. I’m not in any position to argue, if they won’t pursue it then I don’t think I can.

I think you should investigate what Tracey would be entitled to in benefits and look at supported accommodation for her. Do you know what her support needs are? Could she live independently with some support?

Could she live independently with some support
I doubt it. She can’t speak and often refuses to walk, she even needs taking to the toilet. She can’t be trusted to cook or use a kettle. Left alone she probably wouldn’t even get out of bed.

DM is set on Tracey living with her for as long as she’s capable. I’m worried what will happen afterwards. Technically Sharon would be her next of kin even though she’s been NC with us for about five years. And I don’t want the situation to negatively affect DM when she can no longer care for her.

It would undoubtedly be in Tracey’s interests to be moved to some kind of supported living placement now whilst your DM is around to help her settle in and help with the transition, and to make sure she is in the best place possible.

If there is no family member to care for her afterwards then she will be put in an emergency placement without your dm able to express her opinion.

I agree with Humphrey. I would be asking for a early planning meeting with SW to look at Tracey transitioning into some form of supported accommodation.

There is also the possibility your mum will outlive Tracy. But I agree, use the time to look at options of full time residential care asap.