Changes to Consent Order?

[ilovepassionfruit]

Just wondering if anybody out there can help me please. (I realise I can't rely on legal advice on here and each situation will be different).

My Consent Order with exH (divorced in 2012 after 22 yrs married) states that spousal maintenance will continue until death or my remarriage.

Ex asked in Court for it to be until cohabiting, but the judge said that 'everyone lives together' these days and ruled that it should be until re marriage.

Morally I feel that if I cohabit, my ex should not have to continue to support me.

I've been with my partner now for 6 years, and we are talking about living together (we have taken it very slowly because of the children). If we live together, I would imagine my ex would take me back to Court, and should things work out with my DP then I would want the spousal maintenance to stop anyway, but I might like a 'trial' period of living together, eg 6 months.

Ex is a very high earner, and since the divorce has sold his (London) partnership making a sum in excess of 7 figures. I make no claim on this, and am happy for him to be happy with his money.

But I just want to know where I am likely to stand re the Court changing the Order and stopping the maintenance immediately.

Appreciate any responses, and thank you.

I'm not an expert in matrimonial law but the problem is whilst the law changes infrequently, judgements in court do. Bear in mind that very few cases as a % reach court.

So what a judge said previously, could change in light of more recent events although I believe your ex would need to have a substantive reason to return to court to challenge the order.

You could of course just return the money to him each month if you feel like that, or put it in trust for children or grandchildren if it bothers you?

Oh...there is a poster in here...mrsbertbibby who is a matrimonial lawyer though who might advise if around

You may expect maintenance to drop to a nominal amount at first, then extinguish after a period of time has elapsed to show the cohabitation is well established.

What does your partner earn? That is also relevant.

How much is your spouse maintenance?

When extinguishing maintenance the court can replace it with a capital lump sum, but capitalising a nominal maintenance order is worth nothing.

Thank you for your replies.

I thought too that he needs a good reason to return to court to vary the order, but I think that us being together for 6 years and moving in is quite a fair reason (it isn't like we've only just met etc).

I have thought about suggesting a clean break now (between us, rather than going back to court), but I imagine ex might think I'm therefore about to get married and so wouldn't do it. (I'm not). I would just prefer some clarity and an end to the financial ties.

(I like the idea about putting it in trust for the children.)

@Collaborate my partner earns a good salary - enough to support us both (although he is paying maintenance to his ex wife too which reduces his disposable income). (& supporting children). (all happily and amicably).

My spousal maintenance is £3000pcm. As an actual amount, this is peanuts to my ex, but it is a significant amount to me.

Thank you for your responses.

I’m 80% sure you’d see maintenance reduced to 5p a year (nominal maintenance). Would need to sit you down in front of me and ask you lots of questions to be able to firm that up.

You need to see a solicitor.

@Collaborate Thank you. Do you mean you would expect it to reduce to 5p if DP and I were to live together? (& that is IF ex goes back to court)? In which case, there is really no point in going back to court and incurring costs on either side, and I would be sensible (& morally feel correct) to agree between us to reduce to that amount?

At what stage would you think it would be correct to reduce to 5p? ie on the day we move in, or after 6 months? I imagine DP will move to mine, but may still live at his when he has his kids to stay EOW (not enough physical space at mine), and then if that works out, we will sell both houses and buy together. At the point of us moving in together (& therefore legally changing addresses etc) is that the point maintenance should cease?

I'm prefer clarity on situations (am not v good with the unknown), and also so I can plan and know what shortfall in my income I need to make up etc. Thank you so much for your comments so far.

I wouldn’t want to answer those specific questions without taking full instructions.

@Collaborate, thank you, and I understand. thank you for your comments and advice :)

i would put it away to be honest! 3k is a lot of money! pension?, holiday? kids?

Surely when your finances merge is the time to tell your ex that you no longer need maintenance? If you want clarity or to know then you take control. Otherwise I'd just carry on until a court says different.

@RedHelenB thank you. That is a good way of looking at it. It seems so huge to get from where we are now, living separately with separate finances, to merging it all and living together. Seems v different to back when I was just 20 something.