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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Original poster

Separated and due in 6 weeks...double barrel name??

42 replies

newexperiencesbaby · 02/01/2020 20:10

Hi All,
Just need some advice please. I'm due in 6 weeks with my ds. Husband lives abroad in America. I dont feel his intentions are good as he's stated before he will take baby to live in America and I can stay here. When it comes to naming the baby, if I put a double barrelled name with my surname being last, would I still need his permission for travel etc? Fathers surname will be on birth certificate of course.

OP posts:

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/01/2020 21:25

please ensure you get your baby a British passport as quickly as possible after the birth so that he cannot arrange one.

stophuggingme · 02/01/2020 21:31

Your name and your name alone
Married or not If he lives in the US he needs to prepare for at least two years of infrequent contact, regardless actually.
Who would allow a man to take an infant at least a seven hour plane ride away from their mother ?

Don’t make it easier for him.

What an entitled fucker

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/01/2020 21:37

he's stated before he will take baby to live in America and I can stay here

This is scary.

I'd be tempted to be very creative with the truth of the baby's birth details (date and name) so that he can not order copy birth certificates.

FenellaVelour · 02/01/2020 21:41

Yes, if married then he has to go on the birth certificate and will have parental responsibility. If he’s making threats to remove the baby from your care you could seek a court order to prevent this. This is a separate issue from surname. You are meant to gain consent to take the child out of the country from all people with PR, though you’re much more likely to get stopped if your child has a different name to you.

Original poster

newexperiencesbaby · 02/01/2020 23:01

Thank you, ladies, for all your words of advice. My gut said to go with my name as he won't be around much anyway and it makes my life easier...plus, he's being really nasty saying he will only pay for the baby's needs and not mine. Crazy...
I appreciate all the comments. Thank you. I'll also be ringing rights of women tomorrow for further legal advice.

OP posts:

JoanieCash · 02/01/2020 23:08

Different surnames are challenged more frequently by immigration (which means you don’t want to have his surname there, to make abduction more difficult, and baby MUsT have your surname so that you can travel with baby without needing ExH consent.

BlouseAndSkirt · 02/01/2020 23:14

Are youBritish and in the UK, OP?

I would see a lawyer as fast as possible and establish separation.

He sounds horrible.

Nat6999 · 02/01/2020 23:22

Get a solicitor asap & file for divorce before your baby is born. Do everything possible to not put his name on BC & don't give your baby his surname, get your own name changed back to your maiden name quickly so that you can give your baby your name & nothing will be linked to him.

prh47bridge · 03/01/2020 07:32

There is some inaccurate advice on this thread mixed in with some more accurate responses.

As you are married he will have parental responsibility regardless of whether or not he is on the birth certificate. Divorcing him, changing your child's name, etc. will not make any difference. He will still have PR.

Neither of you will be able to take your child out of the country legally without the other parent's consent or a court order. Of course, many people do take their children abroad without the relevant consent and don't experience any problems, just as many people break the speed limit every day and don't get fined. But if you attempt to go abroad without the necessary consent or a court order you may find that you are refused boarding or refused entry at your destination.

Sushiroller · 03/01/2020 07:37

Do not get a US passport for the baby.

Also this x 10.
Your surname and you only on bc.
He is already showing he does not have your baby's best interests at heart if he is threatening to take it from it's dm

You will sorely regret it if you don't write t yourself.
Look at what you are writing you are still married and he is telling you he can't afford support on a 6 figure salary....

WAKE UP. This man in not your friend.

HoppingPavlova · 03/01/2020 07:48

In this scenario you would be crazy to give the baby either his surname OR a double-barrelled name, just use yours.

prh47bridge · 03/01/2020 08:10

Just to repeat, it makes no difference whether or not the father's name is on the birth certificate. He will have PR regardless.

Clangus00 · 03/01/2020 08:30

Use your name. Get the divorce started. Seek URGENT legal advice. Get your baby registered and a UK passport ASAP.

FamilyOfAliens · 03/01/2020 08:34

Just to repeat, it makes no difference whether or not the father's name is on the birth certificate. He will have PR regardless.

What would happen if he wasn’t the father?

prh47bridge · 03/01/2020 09:08

What would happen if he wasn’t the father?

As the OP is married it is assumed in law that her husband is the child's father.

FenellaVelour · 03/01/2020 09:50

What would happen if he wasn’t the father?

Would still have PR, as - for example - husbands of women acting as surrogates initially have PR after the birth even though they’re not biologically related.

drspouse · 03/01/2020 10:59

To get a US passport one of you would need to register your baby's birth with the US Embassy. Both parents need to give permission. Same for travel though he might get lucky.

uk.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/birth/if-only-one-parent-can-attend/

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