Think DH Mothers inheritance has been defrauded.

[Mixitupmonday]

My husbands mother died 10 yrs ago.
She had lived in a council house all her life and had no known assets.
Something weird happened just before she died. A neighbour mentioned she had 'won ' the lottery.
DHs long lost sister had just moved back in with their mother and told DH that mum was 'demented' and to take no notice.
Mum died . Was in a care home before she died . After she died SIL asked if I would stop the pension. (My area of work). I did this. But DWP told me she also had Attendance Allowance in payment. I knew this was either wrong (or mum was paying own care home fees) . I rang and checked with care home and they confirmed Mum was a self funded @ £1100 a week !! (She has been there for 10 months.

DH asked his SIL if there was money as mum was paying care fees and she said 'mum had an small insurance policy that was now all gone..
DH asked for a Will. SIL produced a DIY Will (which I still have saying ) ... I MIL leave everything to DS1, DS2 and DD1 (but fails to mention DH)..

Six months passed and no probate . (Because apparently there was no estate). DH fell out with all siblings over it as they were obviously hiding stuff from him. Hasn't spoken to any of them since the few months after she died.
It has ALWAYS pissed me off. I know SIL got a POA before mother died . Pretty sure she just transferred mums funds into her account and divided by the three siblings. DH is a MUCH younger ''menopause baby' and has never had a close relationship with them.
As I say , it has grated on me over the years but something happened today and I have just been sent a picture of SIL house. Checking on Zoopla it was bought 6 months after mums death for 435k (SIL was a warden in a care home at time of mums death with a flat that went with the job ..

Is there a time limit on looking at this stuff ? Is there ANY way to find out how much mum left. I thought anything over 30k had to go to probate. . It's just so wrong. The 'Will' is obviously forged . Didn't even get mums name right as she was one of those people who had a first name she never used. !

Or do I just need to let the whole thing go. ? ...

And yes it’s true as above that to be a self funder she would have had more than £24000 in savings and once she got close to that threshold then social services would have been contacted about taking over funding at that or a different home.
If social services were at all involved in the move into a care home, even if she then self funded, they would probably have done a financial assessment and gathered information on her financial situation at that time, although obviously unfortunately they won’t share that info with you.

I believe no IHT is paid on gifts given seven years before death, but anything within 7yrs is still taxable. So it’s not as simple as transferring your money over before you die. But still, what happened to you with your family is pretty shocking. I would recommend sending the letter suggested upthread, and see what reaction that gets.

You might be better to hire a private investigator first.
Surely you do know some stuff. You know the nursery home was paid £1100 per week for 10 months.
From whose bank account.
Mums? Sil?
Contact the nursing home again.
Try to find out some more information about the lottery and mil's bank accounts.

Don't threaten SIL yet. Because if she's that canny, she'll work now to cover her tracks.

My aunt emptied my grandmothers bank accounts as she laid dying. She also went through probate and lied 10 years after her death. Now shes got through the money shes living in caravan full of mould. My dad hasn't done anything about it as far as hes concerned shes got her just desserts.

FiddleSticksAkimbo
That is an interesting point and one that has puzzled me for years but also, looking back MAY explain why SIL suddenly moved back in with MIL after many years of arms distance contact.

Just to add to the delightful mix of distrust and duplicity, MIL was not a 'sweet old grandma' . She was quite a nasty, often cruel mother who thought nothing of beating her children with a broom handle. (Different times but nonetheless unacceptable)... All the children kept her at arms length... and then her daughter suddenly moved in with her...

None of this would have come to light if I hadn't accidentally found out that she was a self funder at a care home. SIL's only mistake !

I would not let this go, OP, without some more digging. If you don't get anywhere, at least you can tell yourself you did all you could, and rest easy. But there are some steps to take.

First, can you afford a PI? I suggest meeting with one, and gauging how much it will cost. They have the resources and the knowledge to do various checks.

Then (or if no PI), I would make a list of all the information you have, and where you can get more. So you found out where SIL bought a house. Do those checks for the other siblings. You found out she was self-funded. Phone or drop by the nursing home and ask them if they have records going back ten years, and if so, what the account was that her fees were paid from (ten years ago, without data protection, the account info they gave was more, on the downside, they may so no due to data protection, but it is a deceased person...). You have the will. Go though it with a fine tooth comb and see if there are any other "clues."

Needle in a haystack I guess but if you or DH has any idea about what kind of lottery she played, do they have records? Even of locality of payouts for that year?

Finally, consider the bluff. Your SIL should be worried about the taxman and the law. You would need to phrase things carefully, but they could seize her home and potentially prosecute her. I would say you've taken legal advice, and this was what was told to you. You might consider saying if your DH's share of what was left was paid to him now, even without inflation, you will not take this further, but if not, you will turn over your "evidence" to the relevant authorities.

Good luck, OP! Keep us posted.

Agony aunt

Your inciting blackmail