Does my ex still have parental responsibility if we have a court order

[BitConfused28]

Im looking to change my youngest childs surname ( all 3 have the same dad but was forced to name my youngest after his dad, so 2 have my name and 1 have their dads name )

And the application says everyone with parental responsibilty must agree to the name change

I left my ex 2 years ago when my children were both under 2. My youngest was only 8 months, by the time it was his 1st birthday it had been to court and my ex had been found guitly and given a court order not to contact me or the children.

So does he still have parental responsibilty for the kids even though hes not allowed to see them or contact them?

It says you'll need a court order if you dont have permission. Do i have to apply for a family court order or can i just send them a copy of the court order we have?

Its bothered me for a long time but ive just applied for my youngests school nursery place and it was a bit shit seeing their names together and it not being the same

If he's on the birth certificate that gives him parental responsibility. May need a different court order to change the name

Yes he still has responsibility. It's very very difficult to have it removed. Next to impossible.

Make an application to the court and they made give permission to change it. That's the only way without getting his signature on the document.

If he has a court ordering him not to see DC then it will be pretty straight forward to get name changed. You will have to go to court though as he does have parental responsibility.

@FatherB is posting from a position of ignorance. In fact the less contact a father has the less likely a court is to allow a change of name.

Top tip: if you don’t know the answer, rather than have a wild guess (dressed up as confident advice) just refrain from posting. Relying on incorrect advice is dangerous whether it’s paid for or free on a message board.

I'm not referring to lack of contact. I'm referring to the fact that there was obviously severe abuse or addiction problems to cause a court to stop all contact. With that present, it will be presented that changing a surname is beneficial to escape that past.

Granted, it depends on the judge and how arguments are framed.

The other thing in OP's favour is that they live in a family setting and one child has a different surname to the other two, this is commonly used as reasoning for a name change as the child with a different surname can feel excluded from the family.

@FatherB Your advice is literally contrary to established case law. You are wrong. No contact with the non-resident parent makes it more likely that a name will not be changed (it is a very high bar in any case) so as to retain a link between the child and biological parent.

I’ll grant you this: you may not know the subject you profess to advise on, but you don’t lack confidence.

@BitConfused28

Collaborate is an experienced professional in this field and only ever shares knowledgeable and reasoned advice. I'd listen to her rather than FatherB.

Hi thanks for the replies all

I wasnt sure about parental responsibilty because of the court order, im not trying to take his PR, just wasnt sure if he still had any considering he isnt allowed to contact them

Im not worried about the deed of name change being rejected as such, i hightly doubt they will reject it on the grounds i am asking, 3 children having the same mother & father but 1 has a different last name to the others, i think they will accept it considering our circumstances too,

The other thing in OP's favour is that they live in a family setting and one child has a different surname to the other two, this is commonly used as reasoning for a name change as the child with a different surname can feel excluded from the family This is why i am not too worried about them rejecting the name change,

I think im going to chance it by sending in the application with a copy of my court order and see what they say

If i have to go to family court about it i will but id rathar avoid it if i can. I have no doubt the name change will be accepted i just think its going to take a lot more effort than a usual deed of name change

I dont think courts be will interested in a link to the father. No contact is rare, they dont stop parents seeing their children for nothing,

Collaborate i think you were unnecessarily rude to FatherB , i asked for advice and FatherB wrote that it should be straightforward,

I dont think their advice warrented your rude reply to them,

Thanks for the replies everyone

You see, this is why I get annoyed when people come on here and give wrong and misleading advice.
OP - believe what you want to believe, but you can’t change how the law is applied.

My ex got PR removed at court which was attached to NC. You may need to check the outcome of court order and clarify

FatherB wrote that it should be straightforward,

and therein lay the problem.

I came on here for advice, not for Collaborate to take offence at another poster saying "it should be straightforward"

From what i can read Collaborate has not actually offered me any advice on the questions i asked. I didnt ask if the name change would be accepted, i asked if he still had PR and if i had to go to family court. Collaberate has not answered either of my questions,

Now considering their a proffesional youd think they would be more interested in helping answer someones questions directly, not attacking another poster

I didnt say i wanted or could change how the law applies why are you so goady?

I did say i would chance it by sending in the court order & that i believe the name change wont be rejected considering our circumstances. Even if im wrong to be so positive about the name change you dont need to be so rude do you

If you come on here to advise then i suggest you do just that, instead of attacking another poster for their advice but not offering your own

I did change my DS surname as he wanted to have the same name as his younger siblings. I would send the name change forms off with the court documents. That's all I had to do and had no problem. I don't even think my court forms mentioned PR

I'm in France where it is also next to impossible to have parental responsibility removed, but it has happened in our case. It took a very long time - years. But it is done. You need a good lawyer in for the long haul, a lot of evidence and nerves of steel.

@BitConfused28 I never see a need to come on here and post advice where that has already been dealt with by others (there are plenty who confirmed he has PR).

@FatherB went one further and made you think it would be straight forward. As you say, you never asked this, but you have seemed to seize on it and have taken umbrage at me challenging that advice. I don't know why.

anyway, I'm going to hide this thread.

Its pretty rare for PR to be removed but it can happen. You'd know about it though so I'm assuming it hasn't happened in your case.

You can only try but as a pp has said it's not a given.

I dont want to remove his PR.... i was just wondering if he still had it with the court order in place,

It doesnt bother me if he has PR or not, it just would of made the deed of name change easier if he didnt have it

Im just going to have to chance it, on the form there is an AFFIDAVIT part where i can write down why i want to change the name, I am going to explain on there & include the court order and hope for the best.

Collaberate i challeneged you because you were unnecessarily rude. I only asked 2 questions, neither i which i assume are hard to answer if you have the knoweledge.

The poster said it would be straight forward, they didnt go into detail about how straightforward it would be and didnt make think that either. Its not going to be easy but its not going to be a battle either. Itll either be sending off the forms and it being accepted or having to go to court to get a court order for it.

Worst outcome i think is that they will say they cant change the name without a family court order which in all honesty i think they would grant if i had to apply for one

I moved 2 hours away from my hometown to get away from him, we lived in a hostel and are still in temporary housing, i have been diagnosed with PTSD from the relationship, although we left 2 years ago my life is still affected by what he did, getting post for "him" at my house always gives me adrenline rush ( my youngest has his exact name ) we had to move away from our support sytem of family and friends because of him. It was in the papers that he was found guilty of asssult and given an order and fines ( didnt say what he had done ) and after it was published he wrote on SM wishing he had made the first page, when someone wrote on asking what he had done he wrote murder and when they laughed at it he wrote it should of been. I still have screenshots of texts saying he wanted to punch our baby and i still have screenshots of when he stole our childs ashes from my house and wouldnt give them me back for over a week, texts off him at 4am saying hed returned the ashes, emails apologising for stealing the ashes

Messages saying sorry for spitting in my face - timeframe shows i was 35 weeks pregnant ( knowing from 34 weeks i was being induced at 37 weeks for IUGR ) i mention we have 3 children. Our eldest died 2 hours after he was born and i had my 2nd 2 years later. My children were 2.6 and 8 months old when i left

He has skitsophrenia and has been sectioned twice. He was an alcoholic with a massive cocaine problem ( ive no doubt he still is )

My children are only young but i think my youngest will question why their name is different and possibly feel left out. I feel very positive about being accepted for the name change i just wasnt sure if my court order would suffice or if i would need a new one,

Posters are focusing on PR when im not asking if i can remove it. I was just wondering if he still had it with the court order in place,

I feel with all the evidence i have that the deed of name change will be accepted ( im nit going to send all the evidence i have btw lol just relevent info like the court order and copies of other DCs birth certificates if need be. But it will come in handy if i have to go to family court

Ive put it off since i left because of the "hassle" of it but i dont want them having different last names at school

You have had free legal advice

You have been advised the father has not had PR removed

You have been advised name change can only be done by agreement by all those with PR or by order of a court.

Yes he still has PR.

on the form there is an AFFIDAVIT part where i can write down why i want to change the name, I am going to explain on there & include the court order and hope for the best

It won't work. Even if it, by some mistake, it is accepted, the resulting deed poll will not be valid.

If you want to change your children's surname you need a court order. In the circumstances you describe it is unlikely you will succeed.

Like it or not, FatherB's advice was clearly wrong. It is a shame that you have chosen to believe that poster rather than advice from Collaborate who is a lawyer.

Personal experience here - you can change it by deed poll for £50.
As long as you can demonstrate that you can't contact him and have no idea where he is or what he's doing, you do not need a court order to change the name of your DC.
Write a supporting letter with the application that said he doesn't have contact, hasn't for over x period of tome, have no contact details for him and neither his family.

So just lie then?

Yes i read the advice off other PP's thats why i wrote " Itll either be sending off the forms and it being accepted or having to go to court to get a court order for it"

I dont think it is unlikely to be accepted especially with our circumstances, but theres no harm in being postive is there. If im sending it to the uk gov deed poll thing why wouldnt it be valid once they accept it?

Whiskyanddice Thank you, ive read that on a few different advice sites,

Demenetedpixie, lie about what?

Good luck 😬

Out of interest, would it be possible for o/p to simply use “known by”?

Tell everyone to use “child surname”, even if it’s not a legal change can you do that?

I know several families that seem to use mum/dad/gp/adopted parents surnames interchangeably.

Or does school, gp etc need to use the legal name?