Advice for choosing a guardian.

[Sandoo]

I'm worried about what would happen to my children if for any reason my husband and myself weren't around anymore.
Like what if we died?
We're trying to decide who would be a suitable guardian for them.
Any advice on how we'd decide? It's such a huge decision.
Thank you!

Please bear in mind that you can express an opinion but your wishes are not legally binding. A decision in the best interests of the child will be made at the time.

We just thought about the very few suitable people we know. Most people won’t have lots and lots of people who they could ask.

Then we asked them and told them about our life insurance etc.

One of our friends asked us and we said no. It’s a big decision.

Criteria:
Are they willing?
Do the children know them well?
Would the children be able to stay at the same schools if they lived with them?
Could they cope practically even if had your money to help - eg if they already have four kids, would six work? But equally if they currently have no kids could they cope?
Do you like their parenting style?
If you choose a couple, does their relationship seem stable?

You will almost certainly not find anyone who meets all your criteria so need to decide on priorities - though willingness to do it is vital!

Also bear in mind that as guardians they could decide that living with someone else was best for your children at that point (eg child in middle of GCSE course, they live far away but their GP lives close to school). Are they likely to make sensible decisions?

Personally we went with my SIL and BIL. I would have liked to appoint DS but don’t like her DH’s parenting so we agreed that wasn’t the right thing. We are appointed for all our nieces and nephews and also second in line for god children (after family).

We chose a friend as all our close family are too far away - his eldest is older than our eldest - he is pragmatic and shares our parenting style

We trust him to made decisions in the best interests of the children
We have not assumed they would live with him etc