What do I need to keep my DS with me and safe?

[ColouredPolkaDots]

Sorry it's Christmas Day but I need urgent advice.

Long story short... Had DS with ex, DS is about to turn one. We split in Sept and Ex would see me in mutual places or at my home to visit DS. We split due to domestic violence and SS were involved but see no risk to DS atm. Every time Ex has been around me, we argue. It's affecting DS so I reduced visits. SS also said I had no choice but to let Ex into my home to see DS as Ex has parental rights.

Last night he came over to do Christmas Eve with DS. He's acting odd and seemed different. Turns out he's taken Ketamine. I lose it, say how dare he see DS like that. He leaves. He apparently had taken it before a few times and I need to calm down.

Anyway, if he's taking drugs and violent, including previously hurting DS, I want him away from DS. What can I do about this! Googling led me to a residency order but I'm not entirely sure what this will do and I'd really like to know what other legal matters I can take. Also, how do I find a solicitor? Sorry I'm so clueless! Thank you so much if you can help. I just want my DS to be safe. He really is my world.

SS also said I had no choice but to let Ex into my home to see DS as Ex has parental rights

SS are talking rubbish. He has parental responsibility, not parental rights. Having PR does not entitle him to enter your home to see your son.

In the absence of any court orders you do not have to allow your ex to have any contact with your son. If you want to have legal certainty you need to apply for a Child Arrangements Order - residence orders and contact orders have been abolished. A CAO can specify who your son lives with and set out when your ex can have contact with his son and under what circumstances.

There will be a local solicitor that deals with family law - probably several. Some will give you a free half hour which will help you decide whether or not you want to use them. You can also look at Resolution (www.resolution.org.uk). Members of Resolution are family law practitioners who are committed to resolving issues with as little conflict as possible. You can use their website to search for members in your area.

PRH is correct. Social services is full of well intentioned staff but frequently lack proper legal understanding, and in a few cases lack any common sense about safeguarding children!

SS also said I had no choice but to let Ex into my home to see DS as Ex has parental rights

Who said that to you?

You need to stop contact. Let him arrange mediation and go to court if you can't agree. Alternatively you could arrange mediation yourself and start the court process. The order you want is a child arrangements order (assuming you're in the uk). The advantage would be getting DS's place of residence formalised in an order but the drawback would be that you'd be doing the hard bits and getting it into court that he might not bother doing if you just stop contact.

@prh47bridge Thank you so so much!! Honestly, this is much more to go on than anything else I've been told so far!

Since when does having PR mean that they have to be allowed into your home.

My exh doesn't even know where I live but he was never denied contact. You can have contact with a child without it having to be at the child's home. And for DV I would 100% be having contact in public places. If SS are involved I would be asking them to drug test him.

What absolute nonsense from SS. Tell exp to arrange a contact centre for DC. Put it in writing so he cannot claim you've denied access to them. Find a good solicitor- they will have far better knowledge than SS