single mother on universal credit need help paying for a solicitor

[Febee23]

Hi, any advice would be great..
Single mother on universal credits Going through courts need help to pay a solicitor to represent myself to help fight my daughters safety and to put an end to my daughter father aggressive controlling behaviour.
Father and I had a fling so did not know much about him, once pregnant Everything started to come out his real involvement of drugs and aggressive controlling behaviour towards myself relationship was 6 weeks all in all the last 4 of those weeks he was A horrible person. (Wished cancer on my family) and started to tell me what I could and couldn’t do. Father also has a criminal record, and is a user of a class A and B drugs (apparently nose off those drugs) as well has been charged for drink driving, was verbally abusive however only have doctors note to give consent of his controlling behaviour once my daughter was born (demanding I start expressing my daughter not even a week old so he could take her/ telling me I have to give her his surname.. putting pressure on me to get birth certificate done a week after birth.. note I had a csection so was still recovering now fighting for double barriered as she has my surname. However if my legal aid isn’t accepted in time I may need to pay.

Any help thanks

Don't worry, if he's not on the birth certificate he doesn't have a leg to stand on! He cannot change your baby's name without your agreement. I presume he's trying to take you to court?

Police report from Catcass he was done for drink driving and He was caught with a class A drug (cocoaine) and also an ex reported him for harassment.

@Soontobe60 I know but as he’s going through court he will be put on the birth certificate x

I would advice seeing citizens advice, you may be eligible for some professional help.

There must be places for help but MN isn't it. Good luck.

Honestly look into a McKenzie friend, they are way cheaper and sometimes free. Definitely speak to women's aid, they have been invaluable to me as well!!! Also...as a previous poster has said, if he's not on birth certificate he really doesn't have a leg to stand on and by the sounds of his history...why are you so sure he will get what he wants?? Get as much free 30 min appointments as you can and start compiling as much as you can, documents, pictures of his place etc etc. If he's abusive to you in any way, call the police and get help from women's aid xxxx

@SSc45 I will do thank you! I spoke with a solicitor early on and he said he will end up on the birth certificate as I didn’t have 200 pounds each time to keep writing pointless letters back and forth I haven’t responded to his solicitors letter (his solicitor is his best friends wife) which definitely does not help as I see this as a big conflict of interest!

Thank you again for your advice I will make contact with them tomorrow x

Dont waste your money on solicitor letters, let the justice system help you BUT along with women's aid and McKenzie friend!!! Carcass as well, get them all involved!! If you are exemplary and can prove it I honestly think you will be okay!! Can I ask...what order in court has he actually applied for?? Child arrangements? Parental rights? Do you know yet? You dont HAVE to respond to his solicitors letters either, if you're happy to go court just reply to that effect yourself...? Be confident that you're a good mum and the reports to cafcas etc will hold!! Xxx

@SSc45 yeah Catcass have already made contact and that’s how I found out about his police records so they match his behaviour that I’ve mentioned before I even knew his history.
I mean he has a police record of drink driving and caught with cocaine on him as well as harassment. Wouldn’t that be enough. As he will like all the rest he will work the system make out he clean blah blah blah he been clear from any issues for 5 years (just hasn’t been caught) he’s had 2 months since first starting off the court application I mean good for him if he has stopped for those 2 months months but I want to ensure it’s for permanent he stops. Also I do no want my daughter in his car not only has he been done for drink driving I personally saw his mother and then brothers missus take his speeding tickets that would have given him so many point that his license would have been taken away again.
So frustrating him his family and solicitor are making me out to be the bad person just disgusting tbh x

@SSc45 also would you recommend me bring this to social services attention at all if they would keep an eye on him for the future.. I’d hope the court do involve them tbh just not sure if they do x

You need to be able to show evidence he is a risk to your baby now...keep that the focus. Ignore what he's done to you and in the past (I know it's hard, my ex was a jerk but a "fabulous" father in the eyes of everyone else!) Get a section 7 report done on him via cafcas although that may be ordered anyway by the court as cafcass are always involved at least initially and then throughout if needed xxx

A referral to social services will only be made if the parent in care isnt suitable and that's been reported by someone else/court/you...I may be wrong though as our situation is different. He's not the parent in care and if you're not being accused or any neglect then don't worry. I don't see what the social services can do if he's not actually in possession of the little one at the moment. That's what cafcass will sort and look after, there is a waiting list for a referral to women's aid but they can tell you who to contact and what questions to ask while you wait xxx

@SSc45 he used to tell me things I don’t know if it was to scare me or what but I can’t get these out my head he was involved with drug gang related issues him AND his sister said to me their family home got broken into by 7 men they put a gun to his mum and sisters head his sister said he police was called .. but nothing was done. This isn’t on his police report to what happened against him as that’s what I’m scared about having my daughter even in HIS family home. He’s told me he has been tied up in a basement etc etc now he wants my daughters name changed so it’s his surname and mine... if he’s has this gang related issues it’s another reason to why I do not want my daughter having his surname if people are after him.. and they’ve apparently done that to his mum and sister... so stressful I’m only trying to protect my daughter x

@SSc45 only being with him 6 weeks with 4 of them on bad terms hard to have such evidence to what he has told me in person and what I’ve seen just hope his past will make them take my concerns seriously xx

This is the issue when you decide to continue with a pregnancy with someone you do not know. Of course I understand that some people feel unable to terminate, however it is naive to assume you will be able to parent on your own . A child is ALWAYS made of two parents. It is not at all difficult for the father to legally enforce this recognition and be in a position to demand a say in that child's upbringing/schooling/health choices/religious and cultural activities. As well as demand equal contact as the other parent . It just depends on the type of person the man is.
Of course many never bother - however having a child assuming he won't bother to assert his rights , is really not a smart decision.

The important thing to do here is to be factual. Yes the application for pr and to be added to the birth certificate WILL succeed because it is FACT. This man by your own omission IS the father so where the BC says Father 'unknown' that it's not true. You know and he knows he is the child's father and parent.
The application for PR will simply correct this factual inaccuracy .
Many women are advised not to add the father to the BC as it's a faff to apply to court for PR but for many it will be a fairly simple but if form filling. Especially if his best friends wife is a lawyer . For you it's been a delaying tactic . Nothing more.

Once he has PR he can now apply for contact. This is where YOU have to get factual. Obviously more difficult because you don't actually know this person beyond a six week period .

You need to do some digging and inform the court about his behaviour. However be careful not to talk about 'what you have heard about him' this is hearsay and won't carry any weight. You need to stick to the facts about his behaviour towards you coupled with the known facts about his drug use and drink driving.
Be prepared though, he WILL probably get some kind of access. Breastfeeding will restrict this to 'little and often' , the issue will come down to wether the court thinks this contact should be 'supervised' or not.. and if so, who the supervisor should be . ( contact centre or family) .
To be brutally honest , from the info you have provided so far , drink drive and drug offence 5 years ago, Your best bet to avoid unsupervised access is to try and push for drug testing. Good luck.

omission - admission