Ex hit DC and I need advice

[HopelessEternal]

I need advice. Ex slapped 5 year old DC during his contact time for being naughty. He said he deserved it and that he should "have a few more slaps" to "sort him out". DC has likely but waiting to be diagnosed additional needs, and can be very difficult. This is the final straw tbh in years of shit parenting by Ex.

We agreed never to use violence as discipline for this DC, and to my knowledge DC has never been hit before.

I need to protect DC and feel I should insist on no unsupervised contact until Ex can show he won't hurt him again, parenting classes etc. A family member could help with supervised access, or a contact centre. Ex has history of abuse towards me and older DC though not documented by any authorities.

Should I report to SS or will this open a can of worms? I'm reluctant to cause more drama.

Should I get a residence order or will this open me up to Ex contesting it and seeking new contact arrangements? DC have always lived with me by mutual agreement. He may not bother to seek contact by himself.

Is there any other action I should or could take or things I should do? I'm in such a state about it.

You can report to the police. Poor little soul. Its abuse and assault. Let the professionals deal with this.

Report him to ss.
You would report a stranger wouldn't you? Your ds should be able to trust his df not to assault him.
Write down the incident in a diary along with conversation /texts etc.
Stop contact until a judge deems him suitable.

Is that sensible though? It sounds a bit extreme. All I want to do is endure DCs safety, not bring the wrath of the authorities on his father, as much as he might deserve it.

I don't want to under or over react.

I've read many stories on here where abusive fathers always get unsupervised access. cafcass is rubbish, judges don't protect children etc. I don't know if I should have any faith in the system

I would report it, it may never happen again, but if it does you have evidence that it’s happened before.

He needs to be on ss radar imo.
I reported exh for repeatedly leaving 3 x dc home alone while he drank at the pub.
When my ds's went nc with him I had documented evidence of his lack of parenting...
You never know when you may really need back up to keep him away..

thanks for sharing your experience @Winterdaysarehere How did SS deal with it?

They didn't really care but tbh I know given our history a judge would have - he preached he was the perfect parent and I was a prostitute apparently!
Ds's haven't seen him for 3 years now.

Where did he smack him?
How old is DC?
Did he leave a mark?

Sorry forgot you put the age in.

Smacking is not illegal so it does depend as to what actually happened. Did the child or the father tell you what happened?

Smacking a child is cruel and abusive and is usually a demonstration of anger and loss of control by parents, so smacking a child can never be right. It also teaches a child that violence against another person, primarily a vulnerable little person is normal behaviour.
Sixty countries have now full bans on smacking children, and the Association of Educational Psychologists (AEP) is calling for a UK wide ban on smacking children. Inform your ex husband of these facts and use whatever means you have at your disposal to protect your child.

Report it. If you don’t report it, if something more serious happens at a later date you may be viewed as colluding with your ex and as such judged as unable to protect your child from an abusive man. If SS are happy you can protect your child then they will advise you and not get involved. This happened to me. I reported it and was told they were happy I had taken appropriate steps to safeguard my children so closed the case.

Also take photos of there are any injuries and record the event in a diary/ notebook. Write down word for word what your child told you.