How far can they take this?

[Juststopamoment]

I’ve stopped my kids seeing their paternal gps. When I split up with their father they went completely bonkers and accused me a number of times of assault to social services, the police and people I know. They followed me to school drop off while being verbally abusive to me in front of the kids and that resulted in me being interviewed by police over another false allegation of assault. Their son died and he left the children out of the will. Obviously a way to take any control of the money away from me. Money put in trust but wouldn’t tell me anything about it. His father told me that they only way we were going to get the money left over from the estate was that we would have to ask them for it every time and they would then take them out to buy it for them. I cut off all contact and other than receiving a very small pension from their father’s company (less than £50 combined) they didn’t get anything else.

I also had two court orders against them. One against their son; the other against his mother (paternal gp)

Now they have sent a Solicitors letter saying they want to see the children.

My question is that can they actually take me to court and win? Apart from the fact I don’t have the money to go to court; would a court actually force me to do this considering the past history?

I’m so sorry for all they’ve put you through!
I would bloody well hope not, but hopefully someone who knows will be along soon! It’s my belief that they only get access if they have been involved with the children in a care capacity, but as I said, I really don’t know.

Is moving away,far away,an option?

It’s a two stage process for them. Firstly, they need to ask the Court for “leave” (permission) to make an application and then, if granted, they make the application. You can oppose both.

How old are the children? Before the shit hit the fan, how much of a relationship did they have? Regular contact? Overnights?

My two are 9 and 7. They live very far away from us. We are in London and they are in the Midlands so they never had overnights or were involved in childcare. They saw them every few months. I did try to bury the hatchet after their son died but then I heard about the will and they refused to give me details about the trusts so I blocked them on every level. Then the letters started coming and I didn’t answer them. The children have answered letters to them and I’ve included photos and put a stamp on them.

Thank you BestOption. They have caused me so much stress it actually started affecting my health.

I would consider speaking to a contentious probate lawyer to see if the will can be challenged on the basis that the children had a financial dependence on the deceased.

Have you seen a copy of the will? My understanding is that once probate is granted the will becomes a public document so you may be able to get hold of a copy if you haven't already.

Yes I did see the Will eventually but I decided that as the children would get the money eventually I’d rather have none of it then be tied to them in any way. Plus I’ve spent a lot on solicitors and I just don’t have the money to go down that route. Redundancy and now self employed. Every penny counts.

Children are entitled to 25 % of a parents estate - will or no, especially if they are minors. You need to act in their interest and have a lawyer represent them. Good luck X

You can get some advice here www.childrenslegalcentre.com/get-legal-advice/
They also have a cheap telephone advice service
This sort of advice is worth its weight in gold and frankly if it was me I would sell my spleen to get a solicitor to fend off rabid grandparents

willlowman isn't quite right but they would be highly likely to receive something from the estate if they challenge the will. You really do need to act in your children's best interest here, rather than take the path of least resistance (as understandable as that is). A claim against the estate may well put the GPs off their intended action as well.

I researched the matter of grandparents access a lot when pregnant with my son as I'm estranged from my biological dad and he threatened to sue for access. The advice I was given and everything I read in research said that in existing cases the only way GPs were given access is if they had a pivotal role in the child's life - eg cared for them either full or part time - before contact was cut. I think with all the police reports etc to back you up you're not in any danger. I would however contact some children's charities to see if your are eligible for a free hour of legal advice as they will often send a cease letter to stop the harassment. I really hope it works out simply and easily for you!

I have sent them back a letter outlining what has gone on as they almost definitely haven’t told them and I’ll wait and see what they do next. I might try the children’s legal centre and see what they advise. Thank you all.

They can’t take it to court. But you can take them to court for defamation and your children could sue the estate.

They can’t take it to court

Of course they can. As has been said up thread, they first apply to the court for leave to apply for a Child Arrangements Order. Not saying they would win but they can certainly take it to court.

But you can take them to court for defamation

On what basis? The OP hasn't said anything that would suggest she has a case for defamation.

your children could sue the estate

They might have an Inheritance Act claim but it seems the money may have been put into trust for them, so it would depend on the terms of the trust. They might have a case against the trustees if they are not complying with those terms.

Children are entitled to 25 % of a parents estate - will or no, especially if they are minors.

It never ceases to amaze me the confidence with which some posters spout absolute bollocks on here.

In Scotland children are entitled to a share of their parents estate (it's something like a third of the estate is split between all of the children).

OP I would be fighting the application for contact. Do you have any evidence of the things that they did? Police reports/letters from social work etc.

I can pretty much disprove everything they have said. I have printed reports where they have said things about me from social services and I can get what they said about me to the police. Ive got witnesses and I’ve spoken to the police officer after I allegedly assaulted their son (who I called because he threw me against the stairs in front of my children). I have a lot of evidence. I just can’t believe that this would go to court.

I did think of defamation but I was informed by the police that you can only be successful in this if you are in the public eye.

I did think of defamation but I was informed by the police that you can only be successful in this if you are in the public eye

That is not true. Don't take advice on civil matters from the police (not that I would rely on them for criminal matters either!). People out of the public eye regularly win defamation cases. For example, I doubt you have heard of Keith Singh. He is (or was) a psychiatric nurse who successfully sued an ex-colleague for defamation a couple of years ago.

Having said that, complaints to the police are covered by absolute privilege so cannot form the basis of a claim for defamation.

Complaints to social services are covered by qualified privilege. That means you would only succeed with a defamation claim if you could show that they were made out of malice. If the courts concluded that, on the balance of probabilities, they believed their statements were true a defamation claim would fail.

When posting previously I missed the fact they had made allegations to social services. If they have done so rather than the police informing social services of the allegations you may have a case for defamation but note my comments above re privilege.

Tbh I’m more concerned about them trying to take me to court and force me to hand over the children then defamation. I’ve learned that it’s cheaper to ignore them but quietly collect evidence.

They saw them every few months. I did try to bury the hatchet after their son died but then I heard about the will and they refused to give me details about the trusts so I blocked them on every level
So they used to see their grandparents once in a while but you stopped that when you realised that your kids were not left any direct money that would have come to you to manage? How is that beneficial for the kids?

It sounds like you were separated, and not so amicably. I too made sure that if something happened to me, any money due to my kids would go into trust managed by other people than my ex, and this included one of his family. This is because I do not trust he would have used that money for the benefit of our kids based on previous behaviour. It is my entitlement to put whatever I want in my will, Iowe my ex nothing.

Stopping contact over such matters that ultimately has nothing to do with his parents seems very revengeful to the wrong people. Why would it be so bad to your kids to have some relationship with them, even if it is only a few times a year? They are their dad's parents, people they used to see regularly and were part of their lives.

Did you miss the bit @Dontdisturbmenow about them abusing OP in front of her DC?

Anyone acting like an arsehole should get treated like an arsehole.

The bar for the courts to give access to grandparents is set very high.

We had this issue where the maternal grandparents of our grandchild wanted essentially to assume the role of the parent following the sad death of the child‘s mother. This would have meant regular, court ordered, residential stays with them. They threw huge amounts of money at this but have not had leave to apply to the court.

Before they went down the legal route they had had regular contact with the child and the father would have liked them to maintain this on an informal basis as he saw this as being in the best interests of the child. Unfortunately their decision to go down the legal route has massively damaged the relationship and it will not be easy to row back from this.

The GPs in this case were “pillars of society” types so if they had no luck despite the large sums of money they deployed, I Ivery much doubt that you have anything to worry about. Courts will usually only allow these things to proceed if the child has been living with or has been cared for on a regular basis by the GPs.

dontdisturbme I don’t think you have read my op. It had everything to do with their behaviour.

In my experience, we have been taken to court by grandparents who hadn’t even met our children... and the court granted them leave to apply. So I wouldn’t say that the bar is set too High for grandparents, I think it depends on the judge you get really.

So today I have received a letter from their solicitor telling me that they are arranging mediation for me and them! I find this completely outrageous! How can these people force me to do this?? I will not be doing this but wondering what I should say to their solicitor. I don't see why I should have to pay for a solicitor. Can I ignore?

A referral to mediation is a necessary first step prior to issuing court proceedings. If you don't want to go, don't respond.

I'd write to the solicitor to explain that you have not changed your view that any contact would be contrary to the children's best interests and therefore there is no middle ground to mediate over.

Thank you Collaborate. I don’t think this can be taken to court because of their past and subsequent behaviour (court orders and withholding any money for the children) If I had the money I would go to court but I don’t have the money.