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Legal matters

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Original poster

Brother in tricky situation

23 replies

patchworkpatty · 03/12/2019 19:22

My brother and partner have split up. He wanted to marry , she met someone else..
DB moves out to rented . Pays £500 a month. He still pays £360 for the family home which is mortgaged. The mortgage payment is £516 pm. They have a legal document that gives SIL a 30% share of equity. DB also pays £450 in CM (CM calculation is £211

. DB takes home £2100 net. So . £790 left to live on for the month. He has both DDs every weekend and one evening a week. (Mid week is not over night. )
Ex sil refused to find a job. Until the split. Now works 17.5 hrs a week.

House been on the market for 3 years. An offer was made 3 weeks ago. Ex SIL has said she won't sign sale document until DB agreed to give her £500 a month on top of maintenance, as she will need to rent. Children are 14 and 15.

House is very difficult to sell for a specific reason that would put off many buyers . These buyers don't care about the issue and are in rented and will get a lot of house for the price of putting up with the strange (non structural) issue. It's the first offer since being on the market.

He has agreed to split the equity 50/50 giving her £95,000 deposit. She still refuses to sign without an agreement of 'spousal' maintenance (although she was never a spouse ) .. my DB is on his knees. Can hardly afford to get to work and feed the kids at weekends .

What can he do ? The house needs to be sold. Ex Sil needs to get a full time job and a mortgage or rent .

Any ideas ?

OP posts:

DewDropsonKittens · 03/12/2019 19:24

He should drop maintenance payments to the calculation rate for a start

Then speak to a solicitor about forcing a sale

ColaFreezePop · 03/12/2019 19:26

He needs a solicitor and as they aren't married she gets SFA.

MoonlightBonnet · 03/12/2019 19:28

Is she asking for a legal agreement that he’ll pay the £500?

DeathByPicolax · 03/12/2019 19:28

He should pay the extra starting ASAP paying it direct into her account but not putting anything in writing. Sell the house and then reduce it back down to what he is paying now or the lower rate. Once it's sold it's sold. That's the goal after all. What's she going to do? Sue him? Sometime you have to set a sprat to catch a mackerel.

Teachermaths · 03/12/2019 19:29

Fuck that.

He needs a solicitor ASAP. If they aren't married she's entitled to nothing.

Original poster

patchworkpatty · 03/12/2019 19:38

Thank you for your replies. He is so freaked out that the only buyer they have had in 3 years will walk away.

As you can see, on £790 a month to live on, he can't afford a solicitor - or is there some way to get advice now and pay out of the equity ?

If not, what DIY pathway does he need to follow to get this into court for a forced sale ?

OP posts:

turnaroundbrighteyes · 03/12/2019 19:42

Tell her he's overpaid by £x and now will stop paying until she agrees the sale.

If she doesnt sell use this months maintenance to pay the solicitor

carly2803 · 03/12/2019 19:44

He needs to go to court and force a sale (at least threaten this - she might stop being a twat and take it)

i wouldnt be giving her anymore over CSA required as shes being so greedy

they are 14 and 15? no reason why she cannot work full time!!

Quartz2208 · 03/12/2019 19:49

Right there would be no spousal maintenance as they arent married!

That said is there a reason he offered 30% in the first place and not 50/50 as a starting point? And its not that easy to just find a full time job she is now working 17.5 hrs.

If he wants it done I would say 70/30 to her and drop down the CM to CMS level

CalleighDoodle · 03/12/2019 19:54

What turnaround said

jelly79 · 03/12/2019 22:07

Just tell him to agree to pay it. Let the sale go through, then stop. He is under no legal obligation a she can't contest it.

Or stop paying anything other than CM now until she sells?

movingdilemma1234 · 04/12/2019 06:26

If she's only working a few hours wouldn't she be entitled to claim housing benefit for a rental property anyway?

MsRomanoff · 04/12/2019 06:33

He needs to step up. Stop fancying, stop negotiating. Stop giving her more in an attempt to get her to allow the house sale.

He needs to go to the CMS minimum and engage a solicitor and only offer her the 30%. He needs his time with the kids, formalised. Because she is likely to try and stop him seeing the kids in retaliation and have the sale of the house forced

He has tried giving her more than she is entitled to, she still wont sell.

He need to give her what she I'd legally entitled to and no more.

Lotus90 · 04/12/2019 06:39

He owns the larger share of the house and pays more of the mortgage - he should ditch his rental and just move back in and tell her to do one.

Original poster

patchworkpatty · 04/12/2019 06:59

Thank you. I will show DB this thread and see which way he wants to go. But agree that he needs to stop appeasing her.
As for the poster who suggested giving her 70% to his 30% . What the hell ? So someone who has refused to work since the kids were at school , turned down marriage because she was cheating , (and thought her wealthy bf would leave his wife and marry her) gets rewarded with the lions share of a family home that he put 70% of the deposit into through inheritance... ?

The girls are teenagers now but still choose to spend every weekend at dads. His flat is very much their home. Once the house is sold he will buy somewhere on the bus route to their school and then I am pretty sure they will be with him the majority of time out of choice as they don't like mums bf hanging around.

I would advise him to move back in rather than do that !.

OP posts:

MsRomanoff · 04/12/2019 07:11

If they want to be with him, he should move back in the house and tell her, she can leave and he can have the kids.

MsRomanoff · 04/12/2019 07:12

And no, dont give her more of the house. Force the sale. Stick to the terms of 70% I her favour. He then can buy somewhere for him and the kids.

Quartz2208 · 04/12/2019 08:03

It was me who suggested 70/30 because I didn’t see the fact she signed a document but also becauseeven forcing a sale sounds right and fair it is a hideously expensive and slow process if she digs in where the only winners will be the solicitors.
And I suggested it not because I think it’s fair but because if she is as you say she will dig in for a long time and the children will lose out. He needs it over to move on with his life and maybe go 50/50 care and remove maintenance and get his life back

Original poster

patchworkpatty · 04/12/2019 18:57

Thank you Quartz2208 that makes a lot of sense. My DB just doesn't want to get into a situation where he is effectively pressured into a 'spousal maintenance' agreement with someone who wasn't his spouse . An open ended agreement at that - forged through a form of blackmail .. you pay my mortgage/rent or I don't sign the contract... My DBS ex is effectively asking for him to subsidise her decision to work part time .. when she could work full time .

OP posts:

Quartz2208 · 04/12/2019 19:14

I think for HIS sake getting this out and done with this buyer so he can move on is best even if it does mean losing equity. If I was him/you it needs to be clean and it needs to be a break. Sign it and move on (child maintenance is a max 4 years and should be done at CMS level)

Can he work out exactly what he needs to get himself a deposit and what monthly income he needs to get the mortgage and take it from there. Get her away from his life so he can have a lovely home for his daughters - one that can be stable for them. I reckon quite quickly his CMS will go away because it sounds like they will want to live with him.

What he doesnt need is this hanging over him at all. Make it a clean break and move on. I reckon if he offers it she will be greedy enough to take it. Then with his monthly income he should be ok (I dont know where you live to say for certain)

misspiggy19 · 05/12/2019 15:42

**He needs to step up. Stop fancying, stop negotiating. Stop giving her more in an attempt to get her to allow the house sale.

He needs to go to the CMS minimum and engage a solicitor and only offer her the 30%. He needs his time with the kids, formalised.**

^This. The kids are 14 and 15. She can get a full time job and stop being lazy and greedy.

TeaForTara · 05/12/2019 16:22

Let me get this straight:

He would have married her but she refused.

He wanted her to work after kids went to school but she refused so he financially supported her.

He contributed 70% of the house deposit and presumably paid 100% of the mortgage prior to them splitting up, and 70% subsequently.

Despite this he has offered to give her 50% of the equity instead of 30%.

He is obliged to pay £211 per month CM but actually pays £450.
Now she wants all of the above plus an extra £500 every month

Well, she can go whistle for it. He was already being overly generous and she is trying to get blood out of a stone. Agree with PP, he needs to withdraw the offer of 50% equity and drop the CM to £211. This will give him an extra £239 per month which he can put towards the legal fees.

MsRomanoff · 05/12/2019 21:08

If he gives her more now....she wont stop trying to push for more.

He needs to put a stop to it, asap.

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