I need to leave my husband

[Needtorunforthehills]

I need to leave my husband. We have been together 24 years and have 4 children, only one under 18.

He is verbally abusive, financially controlling and has had at least two affairs that I know of. I work part time but everything I earn is used for the children so I cannot afford to go and see a solicitor.

We have a joint mortgage but the house is in negative equity as he borrowed a large amount on it to set up a business.

I need to know in the event of a divorce what I am legally entitled to, I won’t be able to get him to leave so I will have to go. It worries me that if I leave he won’t pay the mortgage and I will end up liable for half.

It’s a complete mess, but I have to do something because the anxiety of this situation is making me ill.

Thank you in advance.

You are entitled to a fair share of the assets. If he owns a business, that is one of the assets that goes into the pot if it has any value. His pension fund also goes into the pot, along with yours if you have one. Unfortunately the fact the house is in negative equity reduces the size of the pot to be shared between you. What a fair share looks like depends on a range of factors. It isn't necessarily 50%. It can be more or less than that.

If the children live with you, you will also be entitled to child maintenance. The amount depends on how much he earns, whether he supports any other children and how many nights a week he has your children.

You may also be entitled spousal maintenance.

If you want more detailed advice than that you will need to find the money and consult a solicitor. No-one on here can tell you exactly what you would get in a divorce. You may be able to find a solicitor who will give you an initial half hour consultation free of charge but you shouldn't expect that to answer all your questions.

I should point out that if he doesn't pay the mortgage the lender could come after you for the entire amount, not just half of it. They would, of course, take the house first but they are entitled to pursue either of you for the full amount of any shortfall.

You only have one child under 18, so does everything you earn go on them? They're adults!!

If there arent many assets and hes self employed realistically there wint be much in the pit. Could you start working full time?

My other children are at uni, he won’t help them financially it all falls to me. I am in the process of setting up a business, it’s slow going but the aim is financial independence.