Ok, this is long I NC recently but been around a while. I will do my best to not drip feed but obvs need to be careful not to give out too many details as it could be outing. I am hoping to get advice on what happens next, or from anyone who has been through similar, thanks! DS1 is 8 and DS2 is 4.
Separated from my children's father over 2 years ago. Had to get a barring order due to him assaulting me after I told him I wanted a divorce. He maintains to this day that I over reacted by getting a barring order. obviously there was a history of DV, SV, EA and FA that supported me going to court, but he was angry that I essentially "told on him".
Anyway order for access and maintenance put in place, unfortunately the judge said that if we agreed to changes between ourselves that was fine, queue 2 long years of trying to stand up for myself as he took this as a carte balnche to push his wants and needs onto me and the children. I found this particularly difficult and even harder when he would ask in front of the kids and try to get them on side with the changes he wanted. this is a brief back ground and I'm happy give more details if needed, basically he became Disney dad extraordinaire, cancelled access at the last minute, never took them if they were sick on his days and only wanted to spend time with one at a time as he found having both together difficult. They were never fed anything other than takeaway, never had to brush their teeth, kept the clothes I'd sent them in and send them back in clothes that were too small, bought every new toy or gadget they glanced at. Nothing you wouldn't hear of 100 times over from other parents in a similar situation.
In the briefest terms possible DS1 and DS2 have both accused their dad of hurting their privates, they made these revelations to their teachers so a SW was contacted immediately. The police are now involved, rightly so.
Once I was told of what the kids said I stopped access and refused to hand the kids over, I took days off work and stopped sending them to school for the first week in case he tried to take them out. He turned up at the school every day and just waited outside. As there is an access order in place I was told that they had no choice but to hand the kids over to him if he turned up. He is a legal guardian and the has a court order giving access. I have a solicitor who applied for an emergency hearing to temporarily suspend access pending investigation and was given a date in Dec to attend, shit you not. In the meantime he has had a summons issued for my refusal to hand the kids over. The judge has told us he will hear both applications on the date I was originally given. In the meantime he's accusing me of all sorts, beating the kids, starving them, force feeding them, making up lies so they accuse him. I didn't make these accusations, and none of it is true but his solicitor sends one of these mental letters every week. He wants me to supervise the access and he wants me to sit down with him and sort it out without the police or SW involved.
SW has told me that since I am keeping the kids safe we are not a priority and this could all take months before they even talk to the kids.
I feel lost and helpless. he's refusing to allow the kids to go to a play therapist, he refuses to pay for supervised access and on the weeks I can't pay for it they don't see their dad.
So what happens now, do I have to fight him off for the foreseeable until a SW can come talk to the kids? Will the judge listen to his madness? How do I prove that what he's saying is lies but what I and the kids are saying is true? Will I be waiting months? What happens then? How do they decide who to prosecute? Is it worth putting my kids through that?