Divorce - run out of money - what now?

[EdithTheCat]

Posted originally in Divorce section but thought there may be advice also available here:

Divorcing my Ex after 5 years of separation. Haven’t lived together for over two years. Filed for divorce last January and I have got nowhere... I’m at my wits end.

Mediation failed after 7 very painful sessions. No agreements were reached. He won’t discuss anything sensibly - just emails and messages about past issues and fails to negotiate. Basically he doesn’t seem to want to actually divorce. I met someone else a year and a half ago and he just hasn’t moved on...

He refuses to do disclosure and Form E - seems to think we can do everything on an informal / voluntary basis and then just continually messages and emails insulting crap going on and on about past issues.

He’s not using a solicitor. Sends mine 9 page emails wasting my money and getting nowhere. I’ve sent him a proposal - the basis of a consent order - and he won’t discuss it. He’s had months to respond to my proposal and hasn’t. Many deadlines have been given by both myself and my solicitor.

I have now run out of money. I had over 10K savings to pay for meditation and solicitor but these funds are now depleted. I can barely afford any ongoing legal advice - let alone court costs.

What do I do now? He simply won’t progress things? How do I get the divorce done with very limited funds. I’m not entitled to any legal aid. Just feel so helpless and stuck.

1. Assuming he's not acknowledged service of the petition, have him personally served and then you can proceed with the divorce without his cooperation (unless it was a 2 year separation petition).

1. Apply for a financial remedy order. You've wasted far too much time and money negotiating nothing.

It’s a 2 year and Nisi was given months ago

Also I have a MIAMS form

Is there anyone who work as an intermediary for you with your ex? My ex husband was difficult during my divorce but his brother used to act as a go between and did a mediation session with us both to agree next steps.

While your ex is dragging his feet it means he isn't getting on with his life which isn't good for him so perhaps a family member will help give him a push.

And I had a new partner (divorce took nearly 2 years) and I kept that information from my ex as I knew that once he found out he would hit the roof. He suspected and used to threaten to 'get me' for adultery.

Your MIAM form must be used within 4 months.

Thanks for reminder about MIAMS form...

There isn’t really anyone who can mediate sadly. Family are overseas and unlikely to want to get involved. Mediation with a trained person was awful and produced no agreement.

And he’s already aware of my partner. Which has obviously made the conflict worse.

Do I have to involve a solicitor in the court process at all? I’m wanting to keep costs down. I’m assuming a consent order is bypassed by the court process?

You never have to involve a solicitor in the same way that you never have to see a doctor and can always self-medicate.

I am in Scotland so no advice except to say I am seven years post-separation, failed collaborative process, series of child welfare hearings but then sent back to mediation, two years of mediation..not possible to reach an agreement.

I think in England you don’t need to agree child arrangements or get a final order from the court to divorce though, so maybe decide what you are happy to settle with and self-represent?

This post will probably put me because I cannot imagine too many people in the same situation. It has entirely bankrupted me. So no help, just to say I feel your pain and good luck!

*out me, not put me

Not sure what you mean by "a consent order is bypassed by the court process". If you and your ex can't agree there won't be a consent order. You therefore need the courts to decide.

@prh47bridge yes that’s what I was getting at... we’ve failed to agree a consent order - going to court In assuming we give up trying because the court take over and decide. Therefore I don’t need to spend any more money on drafting a consent order because the court will decide and produce something on paper presumably?

Yes, the court will decide and make an order. There is no point spending money on drafting a consent order if your ex won't consent to it.