Financial directions hearing - what to expect?

[Nordsjoen]

NC as posting on behalf of my brother. He tried to make an account but hasn’t been able to create a new thread for some reason. Here is his story/questions:

My first ever post on MN. Apologies if I don't get all the acronyms! And it’s long, so thank you for reading.

My exW and I have our second FDA hearing early next year. We were together and married for almost 7 years until separation. She went on maternity leave 6 months into the marriage and did not return to work as DSs are only 13 months apart. Around 3 years ago she started a hobby business when DS2 started Reception. I was happy to subsidise her craft and encouraged her to make it more of a sustainable business by converting the loft and garage of the FMH into workshop spaces.

Separated 2017 when kids were 5 & 6.

Kids are now 7 & 8. I run a small business with 1 employee & take a wage of £30k. She has not looked for work since the separation.

I've been paying both mortgages for the FMH and my old 2 bed flat that I’ve moved back into. I also pay £100pm in voluntary child maintenance (I opened a case with the CMS earlier this year and am waiting on the final decision) and have contributed 100% of the cost of new boiler and white goods in the FMH as well as additional extra curricular activities etc for the kids who spend 33% of their time with me.

Flat has 100k equity and 100k mortgage. FMH has 280k equity and 100k mortgage. All bills and mortgages on both paid my me since 2006 when I bought the house. I also bought a piece of woodland by myself worth 29k. My exW put 14k into the FMH mortgage when we married.

ExW is now asking for the FMH to be signed over to her as well as 6k pa spousal maintenance for 2 years, a 22k cash lump sum and another 29k from selling my wood. So total outlay of £63k.

I feel that, if she wants to keep the house, she actually needs to buy me out of it rather than me paying her to take it away.

The kids need to be housed of course but, if the court has decided that I am adequately housed in a large 2 bed flat, then surely she is overhoused in a 3 bed house with garden, garage and loft conversion.

Ideally we want a clean break but realistically, with her not working, how could she afford a mortgage? Or is that none of my business? I can't afford to keep paying out 800pm on top of whatever the CMS decide and my own living expenses indeterminately. I struggle to make ends meet some months and the financial strain is affecting the business because I’m draining the profits by paying for 2 households. She receives about 700pm in UC and child benefit.

I'm stuck knowing whether - and if so, what - to counter-offer or just leave it to the judge to decide.

I would like to hear any comments or advice regarding the likely outcome of the FDA please. What is the judicial guidance in a case such as this? I'm on my own as I cannot even afford a Mackenzie friend, let alone a solicitor or barrister.

ExW is borrowing money from her mother for legal fees and the total combined fees so far are around 10k. Will these be split from the final figure or can I argue that they are soft loans, never intended to be repaid, and thus borne solely by her?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts or advice.

No one has answered, so thought I'd add my thoughts.

1. Is it really an adjourned FDA or is it an FDR? Sounds like an FDR.
2. The title asks "what to expect", yet the content of the post is more "please advise me about settlement". I suspect you'll not find (m)any of the family lawyers on here (of which I'm one) keen to give that level of advice. What I will say is that earning £30k means there should not be any spouse maintenance whatsoever. She's living in cloud cuckoo land.

My question

How the HECK have you afforded all this on £30k salary?

And you got a second mortgage?!

Hi, thank you for replying to us. Have told brother there are replies on here and he will log on with his new account to reply to you.

I can answer Lovemenorca’s questions though - he used to work in a much better paid (but quite dangerous) job and was away a lot. His company is tangentially linked to this old line of work. He got the flat many years ago when he was with an ex (not my exSIL) and then he bought the house while they were together too, keeping the flat as a rental. Old ex moved out years before he even met exSIL. I don’t know if old ex had paid anything towards either property though, but she is long gone and probably has her own property and family now.

Hi all. Thanks for the replies.
As Nordsjoen says, I used to earn a good wage working under the north sea. I can afford to take a wage from the company and have the use of a company leased van. I live a pretty simple life but I'm having to keep draining the business instead of investing. Its getting me so stressed I feel like giving it all up and getting a job at Aldi after a 22 year career.

@collaborate I'm not sure. We had a first hearing in August and the second hearing is in february where we will apparently be given direction by the judge on his likely verdict.

I would just appreciate an opinion on what kind of judgement the court may make. Could he make an asset split? Are we likely to be told to sell everything and make a clean break or make a mesher order? I understand its difficult to give legal advice on MN but Im just so stressed it would be great just to know that I won't be left with nothing to show for 15 years of work. Many thanks.

I won't give detailed legal advice as it's irresponsible to do so based on a short post on a public message board. You'd also be ill advised to accept the word from an anonymous poster.

Sounds like it's your FDR. At the last hearing the judge presumably ordered valuations or responses to questionnaires. The judge conducting the FDR will be there to try and encourage an agreement. No one can force you to agree to anything. After the hearing that judge will have nothing further to do with your case.

All that judge will do is give an indication of the view they would take on the particular issues between you and your spouse. They may not be as precise as saying that the split should be a certain percentage. Your wife's claim for spousal maintenance will (I would expect) be commented upon.

Some judges get very active in an FDR. Others don't.

I feel that your wife is being unrealistic in her expectations. Hopefully the judge will agree with that assessment.

You simply need to explain to the judge what it is you need from the assets, and what you think your wife needs.

Your wife is getting legal advice and you’re on mumsnet asking for legal advice?

Op you need proper legal advice!

Many thanks for your response @Collaborate. It gives me a little bit of hope that i'll be left with slightly more than the shirt on my back at least.