Need really big help

[Omaryhill2807]

I was in a relationship with someone who was abusive P+M. He went had to go away to work on business and I was finally able to escape without being stopped and manipulated and be happy with my kids( he was the step father). He very good at manipulation and using money to get what he wants.
I relived shortly after I left that I was with child and he found out.
Problem is it’s a 50/50 chance he may be the father, as I needed help to move and everything a friend who I had known for the longest time helped me and we did sleep together, he is in the picture still and has been helping out with my kids and newborn, As my ex knew I had the baby he is taking me to court for parental rights and I’m very scared of it turns out eh is the dad he will get them and I know how awful he is and I really don’t want that. His ex which I recently found out has two other children for him and he was so bad to her she left the country so he could not see the kids due to his abusiveness. That’s not an option for me and will have to take a dna test at some point. Would be be wrong to use a friends baby which I know will definitely come back as not his? I’m finally the happiest I have ever been and my kids are flourishing and happy again.

Yes, it would be wrong to use a friend's baby and could rebound badly on you. Don't do it.

Thank I really don’t want to just so scared of what could happen in the future. But I know it would be wrong and won’t do it.

Not much help if it is his but why don’t you take a private test of baby and friend before any test you are compelled to take for your ex and then if it is not your friend you have your answer. If it’s your friend you can relax sooner and if it is your ex you can look into any legal routes to limit the amount of contact he receives and try to get supervised instead of unsupervised so you are prepared to get the ball rolling ASAP when the proper test is done x

They also take a swab from you so they’ll quickly work out you’re not the mother to the baby, so don’t do that.

Do not do it. As someone suggested above why not get a test from baby and friend first?

Also start gathering your evidence of the abuse- photos, dates, police teports etc because if the baby is his he will get PR and you need to do what you can to prevent issues

You can make him apply to court for a DNA test, you don’t have to do one until ordered to.

Odds are he won’t bother his arse.

Thank you, I didn’t even know that. I know it would be wrong, just he’s so clever at getting away with things. I have some evidence but he’s got solicitors and everything and I’m not entitled to it. And he’s got a lot more money than I do so I’m just fearful.

We were going to after baby was born but as we started to date during my pregnancy he’s the kind of guy who would stick around either way and has been so helpful and supportive and as we just got in with things we just never got it done and he’s just gone away as his mum was not well so didn’t get a chance to do it before he left and now the court date is approaching he won’t be back before hand.

Been trying to get his ex to make a statement too but she’s too scared

I think there are dna tests where they can send the ‘fathers’ swab to them directly and you get babies swap so could manage that even though friend is away by sending to his mums address. Obviously these are easy for a potential father to forge as he could swab anyone so would depend on if you think the friend would be truthful but could work for you, a court ordered one will work differently and you usually need to go to a drs or somewhere and they do it for you and check it’s from the right people.