Worried for a friend

[Aimforthestars]

Hello & good evening all.

Any advice would be great, a lovely friend of mine split from her Ex about 2.5 years ago.
They have a daughter together age 5.
The trouble she's having with him is very worrying.

He turns up at her house whenever he feels like it, never asks how his daughter is doing tells L he wont see his daughter if he cant have her.
Messages her at all hours - messaging her friends saying she is sleeping with their husbands.
Tells her to Die
He's a lot of his belongings in her house and hasn't made no attempt to collect after L has ask him millions of times.
He texts her telling her where she is
He's now just last week he turned up and dumped all his daughters belongings on L doorstep that was at his even things his daughter as made him for birthdays, Christmas, Father's Day.
Then yesterday he turned up again with loads of his stuff and dupped it outside her house.
She's so worried....

I have suggested her to call the police for harassment but she wont cos of his daughter but she always says he can see his daughter but she would like it to be set days and where she doesn't have to see him.
I also suggested to her to call the council and report him for Fly tipping but she is so scared of him.
I told her to write him a letter and sending it to him recorded delivery stating he has so many days to collect his belongings from the house or she's disposing of it.
Also to draft a letter laying out regular visits so he can see his daughter also by recorded delivery.
I have tried a million times to help her stand tall against this horrible man but he beats her down with his vile tongue he ust to beat her. :(

Non molestation order!

She seems reluctant to do anything, maybe you need to find out she is scared about with him. Then help her tackle the underlying problem.

OP, maybe ask to have this thread moved to Relationships? You’ll get more traffic and lots of useful advice.

Sounds like your friend was in a horrendously abusive relationship and hasn’t managed to get out of it yet. Has she sought support from anyone? Women’s Aid etc? The Freedom Programme sounds like it may help and from what you’ve described, the exH’s behaviour sounds like it may be bordering on criminal.

If she doesn’t have a court order in place regarding access then she doesn’t need to stick to particular days etc and he can easily take her to court for court granted access.

BUT, she’s going to have to want to make these changes but she may not have the emotional strength to do so if she’s been in an abusive relationship. TBH (and nothing legal about this!) he sounds like an awful parent and not one I’d be helping see his daughter.

You’re a very good friend.