Mother taking me to court for PR

[Thehop]

Good evening

My mother has send me a petition for a court appearance. I think the bare bones of it are that she wants PR and a residence order for my son.

He’s 14, and after a few arguments with me he ran away to her house last year and he hasn’t spent a night here since.

He’s been thoroughly brainwashed by her and my brother and he now hates me with a passion.

I’m stumped. What do I do? I’m so sorry, I’m shaking and crying and don’t know where to get advice. Google is coming up blank. It’s all parents arguing.

Sorry you are going through this.
I don't know anything about the law in this type of case - parental alienation is of course recognised (though can be difficult to prove). However this is a less common scenario.
Do you have any other children and if so are they in regular contact with your son?
Do you see your son?

Meant to ask also - where is the father? Is he around and would be support you?

I’m so sorry I posted this here and in another forum, should I link it? I’ll see if I can.

Thank you for responding x

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3709846-My-DM-is-taking-me-to-court-over-my-DS

@Thehop I have replied on the other thread.
Your story is one of the most heart breaking I have read.
I hope you get some good legal advice here. I think you may also want to move the thread you have on aibu over to the relationships board.
Please, please go to the stately homes thread also because sadly I think you belong there.
I wish you strength.

You’re wonderful thank you, I’m going to read through that this morning. I really appreciate your support thank you.

As it currently stands your mother has no parental say in your sons life, why would she she's not his parent and grandparents have no rights!
She is trying to gain this to gain control.
I can't advise you legally but personally I would be insisting that a toxic narcissist like that was nowhere near any of my children and your son is no exception as he's too young to decide this for himself and is being manipulated and emotionally groomed.
Don't play her game, just collect your son and have nothing more to do with her.
She has no right to take your son in, he is your son and should be at home, as for him hating you he is being poisoned and falling for her mind games because he's too young to understand that an adult would do this and your brother sounds like he believes it's his duty to go along with his mother as manipulative narcissists train their children to devote their life to trying to win their love and approval but will never please them as they are never satisfied and when the bar gets higher the harder they will try until they just become little minions.
You want more than this for your son so get him out of there and have no more contact, she's basically just taken someone's child and now wants you out the picture, probably because she wasn't able to control you so feels that you owe her your son as she lost out on owning you.
She'll be devastated and humiliated to have lost, and will probably seek revenge so make sure you and your children have blocked her on social media and phones and all devices, if you can move great but otherwise do not let your children open the front door.

Cornish I had your attitude at the start of all this over a year ago. I thought it was simple. He was my son, she couldn’t just take him.....but he’s choosing to be there, nobody will force him to come home. I’ve been to CAMHS, school, GP and the police. There’s nothing that anyone will do because of his age, he can basically choose as long as he’s not in danger. It’s horrendous, but that really is a hat we’ve been told.

What

Of course it seems simple- your child - you put your foot down, order him home and that's that!
Unfortunately with a toxic, spiteful narcissist, and a young teenager who has had a real number done on him, the reality was always going to be very different.
A 14 year old is never going to understand what she has done to him. Most adults take many years to begin to fit together the pieces of the jigsaw, and some adults never do, allowing vicious elderly parents to have destroyed their children's/grandchildren's lives.
Even the fact you originally posted in aibu suggests you are not truly aware of who and what your biological mother is.
I'm posting you a link to the best description I can find of a narcissistic mother. Not every characteristic needs to be ticked and there can be others that are not on the list.
parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html
It is not an easy read but worded very succinctly.

And apologies- I know you are seeking legal advice which I can't give you.
Social services should be involved because your child is in great danger. Of course coersive control is now a crime, but to find someone who truly understands what is happening here...very few will I'm afraid.
But please, please keep your other children well away. You must protect them.

Carrot cake that link was quite a revelation. So many of those examples I found my mouth open remembering so many times it fit exactly the way she behaves. The way everyone thinks she’s wonderful and we have this amazing relationship “oh but you were so close!”

I didn’t manage to read it all in one sitting, it was quite a shock.

Thank you, so so much.

So glad you are finding the link helpful, painful and shocking though it is. It brought huge clarity to me and expressed so succinctly what I was totally unable to articulate. Now, if anyone close to me struggles to get their head around the issue of narcissism, I print out a copy and give it to them. It is a truly shocking read.
For me - it was a huge lightbulb moment. However it took me a very long and painful time to properly process.
But truth does indeed set you free.
Please pop to the "stately homes" thread on here if you need a hand hold or to talk things through.

I’m just reading that thread. Lightbulb after lightbulb.

I’m so grateful to you, thank you.