Ex husbands solicitor sent him the remaining house equity not to his new solicitor

[lexiepuppy]

I am self trying to sort out my financial settlement without a solicitor (I have no money). My ex husband financially controlled me over the 18 years we were together. We renovated 3 properties, each property was solely in his name.
After my Fil died he moved his mother in with us without discussion. They colluded together to sell our house and she bought 2 properties next to eachother for us and her to live in.
Long story short. I agreed with none of it. He sold our house and I left him. He took half our house equity and invested it in a flat with his mother. I later found out and that he'd been having an affair throughout our marriage.
He has had 3 different solicitors as they keep getting pissed off with him and his mother. The 2nd solicitor got frustrated with him and took her fees out of the remaining house equity and sent the remain equity to my ex husband.
This has put me in a vulnerable situation as he could spend the remainder of the money and myself and the children will get nothing.
Is this legal what his solicitor has done? Shouldn't she have sent it to his new solicitor?
Should i write a letter to the judge? I have been warned that if it goes to court this could rumble on for years and the fees may sink up the remaining equity.
He is now swanning around in a new car and taking his ow to Bali. Whilst I haven't been on holiday in 4 years!
I have contacted the legal ombudsmen, they said I was not her client so I can't do anything about it.
Any advice will be gratefully received!

If your name wasn’t on the deeds why would she give it to you? Also, she follows his instructions so I am not sure why she would have needed it to be sent to his new solicitor?

Do solicitors not send the equity on to the new solicitor until the consent order is finalised?
It makes no sense to me that a man who has already taken half the equity for himself and his mother, is then sent on the rest of the money.
I understand he would have ordered this and I was not on the deeds due to his financial control.
But after 18 years and renovating 3 properties, he has the potential to end up with all the money and me and the children will get none.

If your name wasn’t on the deeds why would she give it to you

Doesn't being married and it being part of a divorce settlement count?

I don’t think you’ve got much of a chance if you have no solicitor. Is he paying you anything? How are you supporting yourself? Does he see the children? It doesn’t sound like he’ll do anything unless he’s compelled to.
He sounds dreadful, I’m very sorry for you all.

He owns the house. He had a solicitor handle the conveyancing when he sold it. The solicitor paid the money to him.

I'm unsure why you find this puzzling.

Why should the solicitor hold it in the absence of a court order freezing it?

You really ought to get some proper advice about whether you need now to be applying for that freezing order.

What was the divorce settlement? Didn’t you get anything?

You need to get a solicitor to help you

If you weren't a property owner then you can't control where funds are sent to.

It is worrying that you don't have a solicitor. How your ex spends his money is up to him, but he's not going to have much motivation to get this resolved if he's busy enjoying his fancy holidays.

I thought that in a marriage a house counted as an asset and would be split even of it is in the man's name? Is this not true?

When my oldest daughter married, I transferred the title of a house to her. I put it in her name only and included a notarized letter stating that the property was a GIFT to her alone. In case of divorce her husband had no claim on it. If the law is the same, his mother may have done something like that.

I thought that in a marriage a house counted as an asset and would be split even of it is in the man's name? Is this not true?

In divorce proceedings it is classed as an asset of the marriage and goes into the pot to be divided between them. However, that is only for divorce proceedings. If the property is in the name of one of the parties they are at liberty to sell it. If they sell it for less than its true value or squander the proceeds that will be taken into account in the divorce settlement.

I put it in her name only and included a notarized letter stating that the property was a GIFT to her alone. In case of divorce her husband had no claim on it

If you are in England or Wales and your daughter divorces the house will still have to be declared and will go into the pot to be divided between them. If the only way to achieve a fair settlement is to dip into the equity in this house I'm afraid that is what will happen, regardless of your notarized letter. If you had loaned the house to her it would be safe but, as you have given it to her, it will be taken into account.

Thanks for clarifying @prh47bridge

@Herocomplex. I had a breakdown after all he and his mother put me through, I was suicidal with his mother living with us. Just before i left him I had a kidney operation and was not allowed to recover by him. His mother had gone through my personal things and taken a personal letter. It was the final straw and I left.
I am unemployed and was diagnosed with M.E/C.f.s and alopecia at the beginning of the year. I have not bounced back from all the abuse I stupidly put myself and the children through.
I used the childrens saving for a solicitor in the first year. She did next to nothing and the savings got used up in 4 months!
I was seeing a solicitor via Women's Aid, all of last year, because we had got a final consent order sorted, I was signed off from W.A..Everything was in the hands of the judge.
But the judge has queried the amounts my ex has put down on the forms. Forms have to be resubmitted, a vital letter from his solicitor never turned up at the court.
The solicitor at W.A basically told he has f**cked me over. I know this.
Please be kind with comments.

@Namechangeforthiscancershit He is a narcissist through and through, his mother is even worse. Their whole lives are consumed by acquiring more and more property, money, status .
His mother put all the properties in her name, so my F.I.L could never leave her, and apparently he did want to leave her, or so his nan told me, but was frightened she would get everything.
Don't think I will ever have any trust in anyone ever again, or have another relationship!
Yet he has moved on like nothing has happened!

Oh don't give yourself a self fulfilling prophecy. There are lots of good men out there and it will all happen when you're ready.

In the meantime, you have the settlement stuff to sort so that you and the children are as comfortable as possible

@Namechangeforthiscancershit
I am trying my hardest to remain positive, but literally every couple of days something happens.
I really want some peace from everything.
Thankyou for your support.

Did the judge think the amounts your ex put down were too low? I'd really push to get that consent order before any more money disappears.

@RedHelenB
He literally has plucked figures out of thin air for this consent form, it sickens me to sign it. He has got away with so much and he is still running rings round me.
I hope Karma pays him and the replacement a big visit!

Sometimes you just gave to accept things are as they are and move on. Yes a court can award payments etc but a lit of times they dint pay up or find ways of wriggling out of it. Hope you get a resolution soon.