Separation getting ugly...

[02shanso]

Hi, my husband has made it mentally impossible for me to live under the same roof so I'm moving into rented accommodation with our 2 year old.

He's now expecting me to contribute towards the mortgage when I only earn just over a 3rd what he does and I have our son to care for. Although I should get help with my rent hopefully! I've said he can stay in the house and I'll stay on the mortgage to save him selling and he wants to get a lodger. He's trying to get me to relinquish profit in the house from the date I stop paying towards the mortgage...!? I don't even understand if this is an option or what it means.

He can't take my name off the mortgage unless he finds over 10k up front plus more to pay me out, I've agreed a 50/50 split so far with the house and savings and just whatever the child maintenance calculation is from .gov website because I'm exhausted by this man.

Now he's started recording me, telling me I'm controlling him and pretty much accusing me of abuse! I'm so scared of losing my little boy. He has put his hands on me 2 years ago and has been abusive in the past but apart from a therapist (my husband admitted the attack to them) I have no proof. I'm terrified of this man and so going the solicitor route scares me because of how manipulative he is!!

I just want to get away but if he doesn't pay the mortgage I will have to and I won't even be living there...!?

Thanks for reading x

Has anyone had any similar experience? Taking behaviour out of it, am I being fair??

Omg, your ex sounds like he comes from the same factory as mine. You're so right, you need to get away!
You have to protect yourself and your little boy, it's the most important thing. He's already gathering evidence that he will use against you. Right now he's using the house as a means to keep you from moving, or perhaps it's a distracting maneuvre or he's pushing your buttons with it to create conflict. You don't know what's brewing, so leave asap. His recording is a form of harassment, report it to the police. Report the past physical abuse, coercive control, you need these reports! You don't have to get him prosecuted if you don't want to, but you need to have it on record.
We women spend time thinking whether we're being fair or not, but trust me, it's the last thing abusive twats ask themselves.

Ultimately, if you remain on the mortgage, you are liable for payment on the mortgage as much as your OH is. It is fair that if you decide to stop paying anything, you would only be entitled to equity up to the time you were contributing and that if he is now to pay 100% of your joint mortgage, he should be entitled to 100% of the equity raised from now on (or sadly any loss if indeed the house were to go into negative equity).

The house needs to be valued so that the equity can be worked out. You can then sign a deed to agree what you would be entitled to if the house was to sell in the future on the basis that you don't pay anymore towards the mortgage. However, if your name remains on the mortgage, if her were to stop paying, they could come after you for the payment.

If he earns enough to put the mortgage in his name only, but can't buy you out, would you agree to put a charge on the house to your name amounting to the equity due to you? The problem is if he never sell the house.

I think you really need to get some legal advice ( he doesn't need to know if they just give you advice). Without knowledge of all the other assets including pensions it is impossible to know what is fair.