Desperately need legal advice

[Relationshipsajoke]

Regarding children/family issue. I didn’t know if any mumsnetters were in this field and able to offer me some basic advice on what route I would need to take to get my issues resolved. I’m currently crying and in a complete state, am desperate for some help

Get this moved to Legal and you might get help

To get advice you will need to explain what issues you need resolved.

We have a 50/50 (one week on, one week off) court order in place, neither parent has “say” over the other. We live in different towns. Oldest is due to select secondary school, ex does not consider my thoughts or opinions on this and just stonewalls me so basically his decision always wins? It’s been like this with everything you can possibly imagine right from the word go. One child wants to change from school dinners to pack lunch, I say ok, he says no, I want to take them on holiday, he says no, I want to move one of their schools, he says no....it will be the kids that are effected but he simply does not care or really does think that his opinion is the only one that matters. I need to take this back to court ASAP, I cannot afford legal help, I have filled in forms and written down the issues but it’s all very lengthy and I’m worried they will not read it all/will not care and it’s very hard to get across the situation without actually being able to stand there and explain it all to a judge. I’ve tried mediation, he won’t go, I’ve asked to meet up privately, he won’t do it. I’m out of options! I can submit a different school application to him, but the councils will confer and ask us to decide which one they consider, I will say mine, he will say his and here we are needing court again. I feel like my head is going to explode.

Apply for a specific issues order. Ask the court to decide which school the child goes to.
And ask for child arrangements order that he lives with you and spends time with him.

Just get your C100 in. You will get an opportunity to go into more detail later, so just bullet point all the things you need rulings on, eg secondary school, overseas holiday, etc.

It will take a while to get a hearing so get the form in pronto.

@racmactac - In what circumstance would the court be likely to agree to go from shared residence to lives with Mum/spends time with Dad ? This is something I would like to do due to excessive difficulty in co-parenting with my ex and with him breaking the court order, isolating our daughter from speaking to me when she's with him, even when it's in the court order etc - being difficult about anything we have to agree together, even down to half a day, hours, 30 mins here, 15 minutes there, telling me direct orders and dictating, withholding permission for our DD to spend Mother's Day with me until the last minute because I wouldn't agree to exactly what he wanted for Easter holidays... and then when he finally agreed he said "Fine. Call it a day in lieu". (despite me freely offering him to have DD on his birthday and father's day when they were on my weekend, and not seeking to "recover" these days that she missed with me.)

It is clear to me that there is an uneven power dynamic here which he is still using to hold over me.... he is using co-parenting and money to continue control and emotional abuse that was prevalent in our relationship, and this causes me immense stress which obviously affects our DD and she has been upset by seeing him snap at me during handovers ... it's a rollercoaster really. I am courteous to him and flexible when he asks for changes, but I am reticent to agree to long periods of our DD being in his sole care due to safeguarding concerns and her being very distressed when he has not let her facetime or call me during long periods away.

But will the court be interested in hearing about the difficulties with co-parenting at all ? I feel so trapped. If I bring up concerns about his abusive temper, then there are "consequences" from him, and I'm constantly worried about his reaction/ about being painted as this bitter, anxious Mother, which CAFCASS seem to believe him on immediately before they've even spoken to me

@beingniceiscool11 I’ve just pm’d you