I know everyone says this but I am a regular poster, but didn't want this to be outing.
Split with EA ex husband 6 years ago. He was vile when we split and bombarded me with threats of serious violence, would regularly scream down the phone at me or turn up at my house (the list goes on) I got the Police involved and I got a non-mol and an arrangements order. He has DS every other weekend, he's supposed to pick him up Friday from school and drop him back at school Monday mornings but has now turned into late Friday night and any time on a Sunday that suits him.
DS is now 11 and hates going. His dad is self employed and works all the time so he either drops DS off with exMIL or drags him along to work (mechanic so DS just has to sit and watch all day) it wouldn't bother me what he does with him but DS is bored out of his mind and isn't actually spending any time with his dad and DS doesn't want to go.
DS has tried to speak to his dad and ask him if they could do things together but now he's older ex has started shouting and screaming at him too, to the point DS is now terrified of him, miserable and really doesn't want to go. He asked to come home early on Sunday (4pm instead of 7!) got screamed at and told "there's no point in me seeing you at all" He walked through the door and burst into tears.
I spent years of being shouted and screamed at constantly so I know this isn't something DS is making up or exaggerating. I can't have a sensible conversation with ex because everything is everyone else's fault so I can't even explain to him how DS is feeling. I know from experience he would shout at me and then blame DS because nothing can possibly be his fault.
I'm so sad and frustrated and I don't know what to do, this can't continue but if I don't send him I'm breaching the court order. 