Friend objecting double barrell

[KungFuPandaWorks]

Background: Male friend has an 11 year old son which has his surname. Him and the ex split when his son was 3 months. When he was one, the mum got with a new partner and has been with him ever since and has been married for 8 years. The son also has 2 siblings from his Mums side.

The mum has approached the father and asked can she double barrel sons surname, adding the married name. She gave the reasons as 4 members in the house have that name, she's been with the husband 10 years it's not like it's a new partner, she has stated the son has mentioned at times feeling left out and the fact my friend is marrying someone and that lady will end up with the same surname and the son is feeling a bit sad that he will share a name with a woman that isn't his family.

My friend has spoke with his son and son has confirmed the above. My friend refused the name change, and the woman is now saying she will take it through court and will more than likely get approved.

My friend has suggested she can double barrel it with her maiden name, which she refused on the grounds of that isn't her name, isn't her other 2 children's names either. Son is the only odd one out, so would be easier for his name to be changed.

My friend is wondering is the ex correct, does she stand a good chance of a judge approving the name change?

aderyn19 family may not be just about name and as OP has said this is something mentioned by the son for years so you think the mum should dismiss her sons feelings because as an adult we know family isn't just about a name.
Plus being the only one with a different name in a house of 5 at 11 won't be fun and his dad is being an utter dick to ignore this especially when his son has articulated his feelings. He isn't losing his dad's name but adding another one. If his dad can't even be bothered to spend time alone with his son, the best he hopes is his son with tolerate his new wife and when the son feels his gf is making digs at his mum he is again dismissed as too sensitive.
Im amazed he doesn't want to change his name completly as it seems his dad is constantly dismissing his feelings. Plus at 11 the courts will take the sons feelings into ac so very likely it would be awarded as I had a friend do exactly the same not long ago.

Your friend is an idiot - he's going the right way to ensure that his son may well choose to reduce the amount of contact he has with his father. He's now of an age where the court will take his feelings into consideration with regard to access.

If your friend won't even have time with his son without the girlfriend I really don't think much of his parenting. It all sounds like your friend pulling power plays and using his child to score points. He's treating his son like a possession not a person.

11 years? No I dont think he should change his name. It has never bothered mum before that he has not got her name.
I am sure son did not just one day start to feel sad about a name he has had from birth! I can guarantee grown ups are the real issue here!

You can't guarantee anything!

My mum & dad divorced when I was 2 & mum reverted to her maiden name. Mum met someone when I was 7 & they married when I was 12.

I'd never had the same name as my mum for as long as I could remember & it didn't bother me but once they were married I was very aware that I was the only person in our home & new family with a different name.

I asked mum if I could change & she said I had to ask both my dad & step-dad. They were both happy for me to do so & I started using my step-dads surname for school etc.

The change was completely driven by me & the adults had never mentioned that it was a possibility or an option until I raised the issue.

This is not correct
Yes it is.

Some schools erroneously allow a known as name. Government guidance is that name changes should only be accepted with consent from everyone with PR or a court order. The father could get a PSO to stop the child being used by a known as name.

The law on this is really straight forward and for good reason.

Dilligaf I don't think the mother should ignore her son, it's more that I think this situation was manageable and avoidable in the first place. Just because a child wants something now, it doesn't mean they will always want it or that it is the right thing to do.
The father has not behaved well, in foisting his gf on the child and never giving him any one to one time, so he is partly responsible for this. But the mum should have nipped the feeling of being different in the bud years ago and instead appears to have exacerbated it.

I can't see a mum bring okay with it if her child wanted to use their step mother's name and so I understand the dad not being happy for his son to have the step father's one.

I think the parents need to sort out why their child is feeling left out and fix that before tinkering with his name. Changing it won't alter the fact that he has step parents and half siblings and that his dad has no sensitivity.

I feel like this is a role reversed post.

Either way, the Biological father sounds like he is going to learn the hard way

A few years ago I contacted ds' father to ask if he allow this. He refused.

My ds had been asking for about three years at this point and I didn't want to rush in and change his name without being certain that it was what he wanted. That is why it took so long for me to contact my exh.

DS was no contact with his father through his father's choice(hasn't seen or heard from his father in about four years) but still his father refused to allow this. DS started to resent and hate his father. At nearly 16 he is counting down the days when he can legally change his name without anyone's permission (16 yes old here in Scotland).

They can change their name at 16 in England as long as they arent part of a child arrangement order without parent's permission. I know because ds is coming up to 16 & I always said that I would keep my married name until ds was 16 & then revert to my maiden name, ds relationship with his dad is over & he has already looked in to changing his name to my maiden name.

He is only opposing the name change it it's the husband name she's adding, he's agreed for her maiden name to be added. Which I pointed out is pointless, because she doesn't go by that name nor do the other kids.

He doesn't really want a name adding, but would prefer it being her maiden name.

Nat there is an order in place I believe it's 6 years old.

He's pretty confident she will take it court. So does the fact he has an order help his case of no name change?

The fact they have a CAO is neither here nor there. The problem the mother will have is convincing the court that it’s in the best interests of the child to change the name. It’s not something the courts are keen to do.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart - No, it really is not correct that mum can use whatever name she likes for him in school, with GP, etc. The courts have been clear that official bodies must use the child's legal name. Guidance to schools is clear that the name on the birth certificate is the only one that must be used unless there is a court order or it is clear that everyone with PR consents to the name change. Some schools get it wrong and I'm sure some GPs get it wrong too. But that doesn't alter the legal position. And, if the school or the GP did use the name mum wants without dad's consent, he is unlikely to have any trouble getting a Prohibited Steps Order to put a stop to it.

As MissMalice says, the courts are reluctant to allow changes of name. They have to be convinced that it is in the child's best interests. The child's wishes will be taken into account and, at 11, they are likely to carry some weight but it is by no means certain that the mother in this case will get her way if she goes to court. There is a good chance her application would be rejected.