Parental responsibility and safeguarding

[Binforky]

Hi I know it's the summer holidays but I have been wondering about this. My ex is currently being investigated for assaulting our children for the second time (ss pushed to let him keep contact the first). I have been advised that he should have supervised contact if he ever does have contact again. I'm currently not letting them have contact while the case is open and am reluctant to after that.

My question is before they broke up I told the school with ss backing that he must not pick them up and they stated that as he has pr they cant stop him. Is this the case and how do I protect my children if they can just hand them over?

Oh and just to add I'm completely skint so cant afford legal help.

You should make your children aware that they can say no to going with him and then school should be able to stall to phone you.
But getting some legal advice would help you.

I know my middle child would say that but the youngest idolised him so would go happily. Urgh think I need another talk with the school

Are there any court orders in place?
If not, you would need to apply to court.

Who has given you this advice about him not seeing them? Whoever it is, get it in writing so you can use it in court.

Children’s services often advise no contact but if/when it goes to court and is fully investigated it’s rarely enough to warrant a no contact order.

If there is no court order preventing contact then the school can not legally refuse to hand them over.

You need to contact your social worker and ask their advice and they may contact the safeguarding officer at school to talk to them.

How likely is it that he will turn up to collect them?

Rights for Women offer free legal advice OP rightsofwomen.org.uk/

There is nothing the school can do without a court order-they would be kidnapping the child if they refused to release to a parent with parental responsibility. They will try to delay, they will contact you but they don't have the legal right to refuse. You need to go back to court and get a court order.

You need a prohibited steps order.

I haven't been to court it was the social workers who have said he shouldn't have access and hes still under investigation from the police. I'm not sure he would turn up but hes acting more and more erratic lately.

So SS are telling you, effectively, to ask a court to prevent him having access whilst he’s under investigation. You need to do it.

They never mentioned court. Plus they know I cant afford legal fees.

Represent yourself. Application is £215, reduced to £0 if you’re on a low income.

^^ what MissMalice said. Pay the application fee, chances are he won't turn up as you mentioned his behaviour is erratic, you have all the evidence (police and ss reports etc)... you need to do this. Otherwise there is nothing to stop him picking them up, etc. Plus in my experience if SS 'suggest' you do something, then you need to do it.

I am not classed as being on a low income as I work. I am just skint as my rent and feeding this lot wipe all my money out. I dont think he will pick them up as he never has but was just confused what I could do. Would I have to go and talk in court?

If there is evidence of DV, you should be entitled to legal aid... although, in my case earlier this year, apparently my earnings were too high - ha bloody ha (so I couldn't possibly be a victim as I earned too much?? Go figure... ). I am not an expert though so can't say for definite.

I had a solicitor, and was awarded a CAO, PSO and surname change. Best £3500 I ever spent... but there were two hearings as he managed to stop proceedings for the FHDRA by getting his dad to send an email on his behalf - don't ask. He didn't turn up to either. And I had SS, police and CAFCASS backing...

There is lots of guidance online on how to self represent, I considered it, but as I had some savings I thought it was worth using that. I believe you can have a McKenzie friend with you...

I wouldn't have a clue how to represent myself. I fall to pieces in front of a group of people I know. The violence was against the children. There is evidence which has been backed up by physicians but I'm waiting to hear from the police about whether they are prosecuting. It has come out he was hurting them while I was working. The ss have closed their case as they class them as being safe because I am keeping them away from him.

Poor them, and poor you. What an utterly horrible situation...
if you have all the evidence, surely it should be fairly straightforward?
Going to court is not a pleasant experience, but I found the magistrates and cafcass were sympathetic and fair. But then again, I've only got my own experience to go from...
it does sound like you will have to bite the bullet, even if it is intimidating and scary. You need to protect your children and no-one will question that at all... in fact it will go in your favour that you are being proactive and putting their welfare first...

It is a nightmare, really - social services class the children as safe with you which means it becomes a family law issue if dad presses for contact (as he is legally able to do). This position cost me my life savings. I honestly do not have a good word to say for social services in this situation. They knowingly leave women at the front line of protecting children from abusive men through family court - where the emphasis is on the child retaining contact with both parents.

Someone has linked to Rights of Women. I found Women’s Aid also helpful and a support worker accompanied me to court (they do this regularly but obviously as support, they cannot speak for you).

Thank you I am going to call rights of women tomorrow. What I have found is they dont really tell you anything. The children all got questioned she spoke to me on the phone then I get a report saying they are closing the case as the children are classed as safe and if he does have access it must be supervised and that's it. No advice or anything. I called her to ask if that was it and got told the police are still deciding what they want to do. That was it.