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Child Maintenance

6 replies

Erinsam1415 · 07/08/2019 19:22

I split with my children's father a little over three months ago. Since then he has had no contact with the children despite me practically begging him to maintain a relationship with them or to be honest and tell me if he won't be in their lives. He just ignores me all the time. I also emailed him about child maintenance hoping to negotiate a family based arrangement when it came to helping me with the kids financially. He ignored me yet again. The reason I sort of pre warned him that I was going to contact CMS is that he's self employed and doesn't declare his earnings. He's a tax dodger so I said if we couldn't sort something between ourselves I'd have to go through them and I didn't want to as that would possibly mean his business being investigated and his tax evasion being uncovered. I was still ignored. A while ago I used my brothers phone to text him because he has blocked my own number, I asked him again if he would see the kids and if he would help provide for them. He replied saying he does no negotiate with threats or blackmail, told me not to reply and said that's the only warning he would give me!

I'm not sure what that meant but I saw it as a threat. And my email regarding his dodgy work wasn't meant as a threat, it was more to encourage him to help with the kids between the two of us instead of going through services that might start asking him questions etc.

I've asked him since via email if he would at least see the kids and I didn't want money etc. I could use some help but I'd rather my children just had a relationship with their dad. Again I was ignored. He's just not cooperating but he won't just say he doesn't want to be in their lives, I just feel like I'm hanging around wondering if he'll ever see them again. I spoke to child maintainance options and they gave me some advice and a reference number to use to prove I had spoken to them and tried to negotiate payments via a family based arrangement etc. I want to go ahead and make an application but is there any point when he's a tax dodger and he tries to stay off the radar. He doesn't have a fixed address, a work address or anything. All I have is his name, car registration and the address of a friend he stays with (who I believe stores his money for him). At the same time I'm scared to go forward with this as I feel it could destroy his business. But why should he get away with just running from all responsibility of our children?

Has anyone else been in similar situation? What happened? Sorry its a long one.

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 09/08/2019 03:16

Yes sounds similar to my situation. Ex is absent, have 4 kids and have begged him to be in their lives but all I get is “you should have thought about that” (he means I shouldn’t have had kids with him if I wanted a dad that would be around) anyway he hasn’t seen them more than 3 times in 2 years. I don’t get any maintenance as he doesn’t work or claim benefits apparently but he does rent out the rooms in his house and gets money that way. I could report him but I’ve decided it’s not worth it as he will know it’s me, depends if you think it’s worth it?? Doesn’t sound like you will get much through cm?

Java2019 · 09/08/2019 10:56

To OP

CMS seem to struggle with NRP who are self employed. Not sure what to say.

To Pumpkin

You ex should still be declaring his rental income on a Self Assessment Tax Return. Could be that his profits from rent are below the tax allowance and he has no tax to pay, but CMS could still make an assessment.

SpideyMom · 09/08/2019 12:23

I am not the biggest fan of the CMS as they don’t have as many powers as we are led to believe.

My DS dad is very similar, however he is employed. After months of him intentionally avoiding them, even getting his employer to filter calls, they went straight for his wages. He still works for the same company but it doesn’t get paid every month. All I am told is they act on good faith, as the employer doesn’t owe it they cannot force them to. And then they will say, you shouldn't rely on maintenance as its never guaranteed, and sadly that is true.

He also worked on the side and didn’t declare. They don’t want to know as they work off the information given to the HMRC. They are not allowed to act on allegations of anyone working and not declaring. Even when I passed them proof, all I got was an apology and told they cannot get involved and can only act on the information that the HMRC hold, so any allegations had to be reported to them.

CMS will also only make him pay the bare minimum depending on his declared earnings. Though you know he earns more, if it is likely he is declaring very low then the CMS will only make him pay very very little.

I really feel for you

Erinsam1415 · 09/08/2019 15:12

Thanks for your replies. It's just as I thought really. Doesn't sound like I will have much luck! I'm scraping by while he's on Instagram bragging about his 7 course taster meals in fancy restaurants living the life of Riley. Not a care in the world. If CMS only go on what is declared with HMRC then that will be zero! He does not declare a thing and his business is completely illegal. He's earning a fortune. I don't want to shop him out of spite but I'm so angry that he has four kids and won't pay a penny to either mother to help with their upbringing. It's ridiculous that I have to prove my working hours and prove only me and my two children live in our home and prove how much childcare I'm paying just to get a little help from tax credits. Yet he's got four kids he's not providing for and CMS wouldn't question how he manages to live in hotels, run a car and go off on holiday whenever he feels like it? Ridiculous. What's the point in the service if they don't do any digging?

OP posts:
SpideyMom · 09/08/2019 16:20

Only difference about mine is he is in some form of employment. I could have wrote that

Java2019 · 10/08/2019 03:59

To SpiderMom

I have had same as you. CMS told me to contact HMRC if I thought Ex was acting fraudulently. Advice from HMRC was that CMS have their own fraud investigation department!

Guess until Brexit is sorted (if ever) HMRC will give little priority to such issues?

To OP

Under the 2012 CMS Scheme Variations are no longer applicable to assets and lifestyle being inconsistent with declared income. So CMS don't need to dig.

As for HMRC same reply as above. Brexit has dominated UK government for last 3 years and this has opened the door for NRP to more effectively dodge paying Child Maintenance.

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