Challenging a sister about mother's POA/access to bank accounts etc

[mrsmootoo]

My sister-in-law (B) has long-standing issues with her brothers (I’m married to one of them). Various issues are coming to a head, because their mother was diagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago.

1. Power of Attorney: They hadn’t sorted out POA although agreed in principle that they should all be named. Then, without consultation, B went ahead and got it with just her name on the POA. This was done after the dementia diagnosis, so I wonder if it could be challenged on those grounds and/or the fact that she did it on her own?
2. Bank accounts: B alone has set up online access to their mother’s bank accounts so the brothers cannot see what is coming and going. She takes any paperwork away with her. Their mother also recently received a large legacy which I think will have been spirited away.
3. Finally, and most importantly, their mother increasingly needs more care, either home visits or a move to a care home (she gets confused an miserable on her own at home a lot), but B won’t contemplate this – I think she sees the money disappearing. In fairness B has borne the brunt of hospital appointments/visits etc (she doesn’t work and has no kids and her partner has a low paid job) and the brothers wouldn’t mind recompensing her for this, but not to the tune of £000s! She refuses to discuss it rationally, raising all sorts of historical grievances.
   Is there anything they can do to challenger her POA and control of the bank accounts etc?
   Any advice welcome!

not sure if this helps you but my partner had to give his approval when 3 of his 6 siblings had POA for their mother.

Do you think your MIL had capacity to understand what she was agreeing to when she gave B POA? Because that's a big issue. Regardless though if you think B is misusing those funds and not acting in the best interests of your MIL, I would:

1. Refer to adult safeguarding at your local authority that you have concerns re: financial abuse.
2. Speak to a solicitor. Revoking POA requires going through Court of Protection and it's a long process, so best to start sooner rather than later.

Are you sure the POA was set up after the diagnosis? If you don't have access to the bank accounts, what makes you think the SIL is taking money from them? I think you'll need some evidence to challenge this successfully, a very tricky situation for you all to deal with on top of your MIL being ill

I hate these threads. People are so greedy when they see their inheritance disappearing. It's not even DP's inheritance. Oddly, my SIL was exactly the same...

So B has been doing unpaid (and probably thankless) caring. The brothers might be happy to chip in a couple of quid ( not £000s so not the real cost of care then) but not actually help out themselves (because they have big important jobs?). Maybe DM wants to remain in her own home as long as possible - that is the preferred choice of most people - and B is facilitating that as long as she can. And maybe she's exhausted and stressed so gets defensive at the family carping away about the money and how institutions could provide better care.....

The lawyer who set up the POA would have to be confident that DM had capacity to do so at the time. DSis had dementia diagnosis (early onset due to cancer treatment) but the lawyer and consultant judged that she still had capacity to be able to instruct a POA and a will.

Wee bit of compassion and understanding would go a long way here.

My understanding of POAs (just done them with my parents) is that interested parties have to be notified of them. If it was a lawyer doing the POAs then surely your DH and his siblings should have been notified and give the opportunity to object.

If your MIL/SIL did it themselves and omitted to fill in any interested parties, then your DH could challenge it. It sounds like she's abusing the power given to her if she's hiding finacial information from her siblings.

Maybe it's worth a call to the Office of the Public Guardian? I found them very useful over the phone when i was helping to complete my parents forms.

Diagnosis isn't the key thing with poa it's capacity, did she understand what she was signing - even quite late on in dementia people can be lucid enough to understand what they are doing. If it's really about money then your dh and other sibling should approach the court of protection who have the power to appoint a guardian and insist on records of expenditure etc

Thanks for the replies. I might enquire with the Public Guardian as it sounds like brothers should at least have been notified.

Cazziebo - I might it have been clear. My DH helps with his mother when he can, but working fulltime does make it difficult. He and brother are very grateful to sister for the extra they know she does. But they would rather spend their mother's money on their mother, ie getting carers in to help, investigating a care home; it is B who is resisting spending this - and not entirely selflessly, as their mother has said she would like more company which none of the family is close enough to provide.

You don’t have to notify any more it’s not a requirement. If you have genuine concerns you can report to the OPG but that’s quite a big step