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Original poster

Splitting up-I want to move out of the area

28 replies

Take33 · 09/07/2019 21:05

Relationship is ending after 10 years. We have 2 children together and I have one from a previous relationship.
I was very unhappy in the relationship. I was invisible, ignored and very much taken for granted. I cracked and kissed another man. I confessed all and subsequently this ended our farce of a relationship.
I’m now faced with moving out of our home. Everything is in his name.
My question is this, if I want to move approximately 40-50mins away, can I do so? He’s threatening to take me to court to apply for full custody!
I want a new start. The area we live in isn’t that nice. We have a caravan(which I’ll have to sell-i own that) in the area I’d like to move to and I don’t want the children to lose out on spending time in the countryside. It’s a much better life for them

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 09/07/2019 21:47

In the absence of any court orders you can do whatever you want. If he wants to stop you moving away with your children he will have to get an appropriate court order.

Original poster
Take33 · 09/07/2019 21:52

Thanks for replying.
On what sort of grounds could he get a court order?

OP posts:
Collaborate · 09/07/2019 23:02

You cannot change the children’s school without his consent. If he wants to stop that he could seek a prohibited steps order from the court.

Original poster
Take33 · 10/07/2019 01:12

Then I’d have to fight that?

OP posts:
SD1978 · 10/07/2019 01:43

If the children are currently in school, can be argued they are settled and not in their best interest to uproot them because you feel it's in yours. Are you married? Is there a reason you have to leave the marital home other than it's seen as your actions that caused the relationship breakdown? You can move, but he would potentially have a strong argument to have the children returned- he's in the house, and in the area. I'd be very careful about leaving the house and it then shows more stability for him than you, and a stronger tie to the area the children are already settled in.

Original poster
Take33 · 10/07/2019 07:30

It’s his house. We’re not married so I’ve got to move.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 10/07/2019 07:38

That doesn't alter the fact that you need either his consent or an order of the court to change the children's school. He cannot take the children out of school without your consent and the same rule applies to you.

This sounds like a straight forward residence dispute (if he disagrees with your plan to move out). You need to refer yourselves to mediation urgently and if you can't get an agreement there it will need to involve the court.

Original poster
Take33 · 10/07/2019 08:03

It’s him that wants me to move out. Obviously stay local though.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 10/07/2019 08:48

Do you realise that you can apply to the court for an order that allows you to stay in the house until the children finish their education? Whether you'd get it or not I couldn't say (you'd need to take some proper legal advice - ie not on a public/anonymous message board), but worth thinking about.

Original poster
Take33 · 10/07/2019 09:15

Really? He reckons he’s checked and says I’m not entitled to it whatsoever

OP posts:
Collaborate · 10/07/2019 09:27

It's a claim under schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989.

titchy · 10/07/2019 09:29

He reckons he’s checked and says I’m not entitled to it whatsoever

Why would you trust what he says? Go see a solicitor.

Collaborate · 10/07/2019 09:31

You could combine an application for residence with a Schedule 1 claim. One would follow the other - ie the children come with the house, so if the court accepts you are the primary carer (are you?) but you don't get to stay in the house they should let you move away.

Original poster
Take33 · 10/07/2019 12:38

This all sounds very expensive. Yes I suppose I am the primary Carer. I do all the school drop-offs/pick-ups, feed them etc.

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 10/07/2019 16:17

This all sounds very expensive

Define "very expensive". The court fee for this application would be £215.

Original poster
Take33 · 10/07/2019 22:26

I’m struggling to pay my phone bill this month... I’ve actually been cut off a few days ago. That’s my cash-flow situation

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 10/07/2019 23:58

If you are on certain benefits or a low income you may be entitled to apply to courts for free or at a reduced rate.

notapizzaeater · 11/07/2019 00:06

Have you started your single person claim for UC ?

Original poster
Take33 · 11/07/2019 17:33

I haven’t started any claims yet. Think I’m in massive denial. Not ideal, I know! I don’t think I can apply for any benefits until I’ve moved out of here?

OP posts:
WatchingFromTheWings · 11/07/2019 18:25

I didn't get permission from my exh to change the kids schools. Just told him it was happening and moved town/schools. Nobody asked if I had their fathers permission.

notapizzaeater · 11/07/2019 22:03

@Take33 yes you claim if you've separated but in same hose

Original poster
Take33 · 12/07/2019 00:23

Well I’m viewing a house in the morning. Hopefully get the ball rolling. This is such a long, drawn-out pain in the arse!

OP posts:
Original poster
Take33 · 12/07/2019 09:31

Should have mentioned, the house I’m viewing is in the local area...
Just want this over.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 12/07/2019 10:32

Id stay closer by to begin with, even if its just temporary, so as not to uproot the children any more than is necessary

Original poster
Take33 · 12/07/2019 11:27

Yes, you’re right

OP posts: