Hello,
I've posted in here before about this issue but as the court hearing is on Tuesday and my partner has since received the Cafcass report I wanted to post again for some new advice.
A CAO was made for my partner and his ex in March regarding their daughter who is 2. The application was made by my partner as following their separation she had at times prevented him from having contact with their daughter. The CAO was that he would have their daughter every other weekend and every other Tuesday evening, paternal grandmother would look after the child whilst he was working on Wednesday and then dropped home Wednesday evening. His ex is seeking a variation to this order. As 2 months after the order was made he moved out from his mothers house and moved in with me and my two children who are aged 4 and 2. I'm also currently pregnant with our first child together. His ex is concerned that their daughter stays at the paternal grandparents home on the Tuesday night without her father who returns home. She is also concerned that when their daughter stays every other weekend that she is sharing a room with my two daughters who are below the age of 5. She's worried that on alternate weeks their child stays in three different properties within the space of a few days. My partner had his telephone interview and has stated when he moved out, he explained that on the Tuesday evenings he puts their child to bed at his parents house and returns home once she is asleep. The reason he does this is because he starts work at 6.30am and therefore doesn't want to wake their child at 5am to take her to his parents. The arrangement is that his mother looks after her on Wednesday's whilst he works so he's said that he doesn't feel it's disruptive for her to sleep the night there and also his mother has been a significant and consistent figure in their daughters life. He's said he doesn't want to have to keep coming back to court and that he feels he doesn't have enough contact with their child at times but he's happy for the arrangements to remain as they are. His ex has also had her telephone interview and has said that she understood the terms of the CAO to be that my partner would care for their child at the paternal grandparents house where he was living at the time the order was made. She understands that he now drops their daughter off at the grandparents house and then returns home. She's said that she is unclear exactly who in the paternal family is caring for their child overnight or what the sleeping arrangements are. She's requested afternoon/evening contact on the Tuesday instead and then for the child to be returned home. At the weekend contact she is concerned that their daughter is sharing a room with my daughters as she feels it is potentially unsettling that there are 3 children under 5 in one bedroom. And that her overall concern is that the current arrangements are potentially unsettling for their child as on alternate weeks she sleeps in three different homes in the matter of a few days. Cafcass's advice to the court is that there are no safeguarding concerns that would prevent the current arrangements as set out in the current order continuing, however that as circumstances have changed parties may want to take this opportunity to re look at the arrangements in place.
Basically, my partners wrote a short list of points that he wants to make. Firstly being that their child has shown absolutely no signs of unsettlement in his or his parents care. In fact she has shown nothing but pure enjoyment in her time with us all. She has made beautiful bonds with my two daughters and she quite clearly thoroughly enjoys her time with his side of the family. She likes to read a story before bed time and goes to sleep in her own bed with no issues. The bedroom is larger than most, there is enough room for each child to have their own bed, wardrobes and toys. All the children in the room are female therefore he doesn't see a problem with their daughter sharing a room for the time being every other weekend. But due to my pregnancy we are actively looking to move to a bigger property where this issue should no longer be of concern to his ex. Secondly, their daughter is due to have a baby sister born at the end of this year. That is why he made the decision to move in with me. To support me through the pregnancy and to make their daughter feel more comfortable and settled in her new second home before the big change of a new baby sibling. He wanted her to know that she is a very important member of his family. His daughter and his priority. He didn't want her to feel pushed out or confused if arrangements were to remain as they were before and then suddenly all change at once. And finally, that he believes his ex is well aware who cares for their daughter overnight in the midweek contact. His parents. As she has been informed of this in a phone call with himself and a text message from his father. His parents will also write in their handover book sometimes to let his ex know how their daughter was whilst he was at work.
He understands that it may be a bit too much a little two year old staying in three different properties on alternate weeks. BUT in actual fact she is clearly staying in more than three properties because she stays at his ex's best friends house and his ex's mothers house due to her working. Either way, he is prepared and ready to let go of the midweek Tuesday contact but if that happens is going to suggest that he has her on a Friday night every week instead and then every other weekend. As he finishes work at 4.30pm and she wants the child home by 6.30pm. It's a 25 minute drive from our town to her town and will just be ridiculous as he'll get to spend basically no time with her. My question is in regards to the little girl sharing a room with my daughters, will they have issue with this and if so what could they suggest?