Ex cut me off, what happens now?

[samb80]

My husband and I separated a few months ago.
He has a problem with drink and violence - one minute he's sorry then it's my fault the usual narcissistic tendencies. We have two children 10 and 6.
Before we split I was starting a business and he's now cut me off financially (to push me to get back with him). He's refusing to pay child maintenance, have the children so I can get a 'proper' job (nothing in school hours comes close to paying what I need to cover costs), pay any bills etc. I'm not entitled to any benefits so I'm completely stuck. I'm not entitled to legal aid so can't get a solicitor involved. He took his name of all the bills when he left so all the debts are being racked up in my name. Everything is completely maxed out, he's been having all his wages paid into a new bank account so I can't access any funds. I can't speak to him about it cause all I get is vile abuse and called names. I don't have anyone I can borrow money of and even if I did, it would be endless as when is this going to end. We are on the brink of losing everything.
Can anyone advise how I can get out of this?

You need to take the following steps:

1. Go to CMS and get them to calculate child maintenance
2. Issue divorce proceedings
3. Apply for a financial remedy order within divorce
4. If his income is big enough (you'll need advice for this) apply for maintenance pending suit from the court. May take a few months to get a hearing these days because the government is closing all the courts and not paying for enough judges to sit in all the court rooms that remain, but it's the only avenue open to you.

Why aren't you entitled to any benefits? Have you applied for those as a single person because although you are still married you are financially single.

CMS asap, plus start divorce proceedings.

You also need to be realistic about your life moving forwards. You may have to sell your existing property. If you have finance like credit cards, loans, car finance etc and you can't afford to pay them you may need to consider and IVA or bankruptcy.

It will be very difficult. But you should look to the future without a vile, abusive man in your life. Maybe try and get an appointment with CAB or one of the government debt advice charities to help prioritise your immediate debts and help negotiate with creditors.

Is he working ? Get cms involved straight way. Have you checked you're not entitled to benefits ? You should be with no income

He is working self employed - so he wangles his books.
Cause we have 3 properties I have 'assets' so not entitled to anything.
I tried yesterday calling for an appointment for one hr free solicitor etc but the appointments are in weeks.
I was hoping to have my business earning money by now but nothings happening. My ex literally has me right where he wants me.

In regards to the properties he's refusing to have them rented out to the mortgages on them aren't getting paid.

Go to the CAB and get your debts sorted out. They should also be able to advise on benefits. I think that you should be able to get single person discount on your council tax at least.

Is there decent equity in the properties?

If so, you can get a litigation loan through Novitas (there are other lenders but they are the biggest)

Talk to a solicitor about getting a litigation loan set up.

www.novitasloans.co.uk/

If there are assets then they need to be sold and divided. In the short term you need debt advice.

What is the equity in these properties? Is there enough to split and live off in the short term for you and your dcs?

Still start the CMS claim, it will show him you won't stand for his bullshit.

It's a ploy to get you to take him back, he's punishing you the absolute wankerbastard. Don't back down. Prioritise food in the table, if your business isn't earning get a job, any job. Open a seperate bank account to have your wages paid into.

Contact a debt charity to help, they will freeze interest payments and charges on debt and sort out a payment plan, might be as little as £1 a month. That way you can use your wages to feed you and your dcs.

I would book an appointment with a solicitor asap. There are assets from the marriage, they can take their fees from any settlement. Don't wait for a free appointment to tell you you need a solicitor. You absolutely need one to ensure you aren't ripped off by him when you divorce.

I'm not entitled to legal aid, I'm in the process of claiming benefits. No solicitor will see me unless I pay up front.
When I decided to go through with the charges against him I was told I would get all the support I need etc. Now everyone's back tracking saying they understand how frustrating my situation is.
I am genuinely shocked that people were allowed to encourage vulnerable people when they had no knowledge of the law.
If I knew then what I knew now I would never have gone through with it.
I am absolutely gutted, my ex just laughs and tells me how I fucked up.

Try to do what previous OP’s have advised you. No way you’re regretting leaving a vile abusive alcoholic. Don’t even think about it. Think about the future without him. Things will get better slowly. Am getting myself sorted to leave my abusive alcoholic H and I won’t look back

Give up the business, new businesses very rarely bring in money the first year. Wait until this has settled down.

Please take note of @MrsBertBibby post which clearly lays out your remedy.

IME Novitas will not lend you anything unless you're sitting on extensive assets already. Other litigation funders are available.

Well 3 properties in addition to the family home might be extensive enough.