Separated - I have no income he is cancelling all direct debits

[Theworldcouldbemymollusc]

Stbxh has been abusive - I fled the home and went into refuge now sofa surfing with my dcs. He is cancelling all direct debits - mortgage, WiFi, mobile phones etc and demanding I transfer them to my account. Some of them will impact him as he still lives in the house. I literally have no income and won’t get universal credit until August. Can he just do this and cut us off after 13 years together (married for 11)

Do not do anything OP, do not obey any of his instructions.
You need to find a legal aid solicitor and talk to that solicitor before you do anything.
Your ex is counting on you obeying him because you are scared.
You have rights, go to the police and get legal proceedings underway.
Good luck, I have done this, you can do it too.

Be very careful with contact from him. You are vulnerable now you've left the refuge and you dont want him knowing where you are. Speak to a solicitor and womens aid for advice. They will have seen this before and can tell you where you stand. You may also be eligible for legal aid due to the domestic violence. Don't negotiate with him, don't even respond until you've had further advice about keeping you all safe. He's trying to goad and scare you.

It’s working as I am legally responsible for at least half the bills and some are in my sole name. But I have literally no income. He has even transferred the little money I had out of my account by logging on with my details.

You need to terminate any contracts you've got with the utilities. No point you paying for gas, electricity, phone, etc if you aren't living there. If no one's paying, they'll get cut off and he'll not have any gas, electricity, WIFI etc. Don't let him know what you've done though.

Open a new bank account immediately!!!

Which ones are in your name?

Tell the council you are no longer there, when you moved out etc so you are not liable for council tax. That is the most important one.

Are you sure it is a joint mortgage? If it is speak to the mortgage company ASAP.

Any utilities ring up say you don't live there anymore firm x date and that you felled DV (give refuge info as evidence) and transfer bills into his name.

If he stops paying the mortgage he'll be homeless in a few months.
Get yourself a new bank account and get your wages/benefits paid into it.
Ring your old bank and tell them the situation. They may freeze the account.

Have you contacted the police and bank about him moving money from the account? Go to the bank and close that account. Open a new account with a new provider and make sure that nothing goes to the old address. Make sure that DWP know about the new account for when your benefits are paid. As others have said, cancel the direct debits. You're not living there so why are you still paying? Those companies will have policies for supporting those fleeing domestic violence. You've done incredibly well to get away so stop allowing this low life to intimidate you and control your life. Stay strong.

Contact the utilities companies that have the bills in your name and advise them you’ve had to flee your home due to domestic violence, so that they will put a stop to payments in your name if you are no longer able to live at the address. Get a new bank account for any benefit payments, plus contact the Police and report that he’s fraudulently transferred money out of your account.

So people to contact in order:
Council Tax
Mortgage
Gas
Electric
Phone/broadband
TV services
Water
Insurances - I would recommend keeping buildings insurance in place as the house is an asset and if there is a fire on anything!
Cars - insurance, car payments

Mobile phone - can he access your Bill history or anything?

Childcare or nursery fees

Any other subscriptions.

Probably some things I've missed off that list.

Okay I’m on it. Sending emails out now. Have changed the online banking details. His control is very effective - he had paralysed me with all his instructions........but I’m back in the game now.

In a similar situation......my heart goes out to you.
I just wanted to say how much I admire your courage and determination, you go girl! Xx

Thanks @user1486........ I don’t feel brave or courageous! But he has very much underestimated me.

You are being brave and courageous - do t let him bully you

You can do this.
You left that means his hold is gone...
Record everything
Report it all to the police, they need a paper trail of petty offences, to prove who he is

Well done you're doing brilliantly

I need a solicitor but there are only 2 in my area who do legal aid. The first one I tried was terrible and it has put me off! It seems so unfair that women who are abused then suffer the long lasting ramifications of inadequate legal advice. 😭 it’s so hard to even try to move forward without continual set backs

Try the CAB if there's still one in your area.

www.clearyourdebts.co.uk/debt-collectors/3-letter-process/

This works, I did it myself after my ex did the same thing to me. I wrote off around 2k in debt in the end.

Doesn't work for Government owed debt.

Don't pay anything that is sold on and don't enter any payment plans with bailiffs, if they change their mind and want more money they will be back and intimidating you too! Ask the companies etc (i.e council tax) to recall the debt back and arrange payment plan with them.

These scenarios are a long way off - but most people don't know this info. If a debt does get sold you likely won't hear about it for two years. Make sure you are taking your name off everything yourself and proving you've left, and he is still there!