Rights if flat purchase documents don’t have my name

[IABUQueen]

Hi all,

I just want quick advice. So me and DH are buying a house. I’m currently a SAHM, a decision made by us both. I worked before with a very good salary, and I was of the mentality of “whatever’s mine is yours, we are a family” as was he. I used some of my savings to fund a postgraduate degree and to support myself, and saved some. But most our savings do come from DH with heavy contribution from me.

There was a few circumstances when we started saving up for a deposit, with me having to take medical leave and then quitting due to medical issues with my pregnancy. And ever since I only worked in jobs which aren’t based around my profession just to earn cash to support myself and the household while DH continues with his mortgage payments.

When we were buying the house, my parents offered me a small gift to help with the deposit. And my grandad offered me a small loan. DHs parents offered him a massive loan.. upon which DH insisted on aiming for a better house due to a bigger deposit.

However my relationship with in laws is very strained. I do find them very financially controlling and in general they dislike me. And DH asked me that until he repays his parents the loan, that he won’t be able to have my name on the house documents but promised as soon as he repays them then he will (3.5 years after purchase). His parents have previously claimed they want rights in his will and since they gave him a big sum I understand but I do not want to be letting go of my rights.

My contribution to the house has been mainly through not actually having access to any financial expenditure during my maternity. My part time job mainly went to supporting household running costs and so did child benefit. DH has been working overtime to be able to repay his parents and afford flat costs, and added to that his parents have been asking us to repay the loan at a much faster rate than originally agreed.

My DH came to me before we signed the house contract asking me if we want to sign post-nuptials agreements. This was around the time I was having serious issues with his parents who wanted to break our marriage (subjective I know but I posted in MN before and that was the consensus). I broke down and said that I was happy to do whatever he believes is fair on him however I will want a paper with him stating all the money that he owes me for funding all the house running costs and for the gift from my parents and the money he would naturally be responsible for me and his child which we never received due to committing to the house costs with him which I wouldn’t do if I wasn’t going to have any financial security. He then realised how insecure I felt about this sudden decision which was last minute before signing documents and so changed his mind about prenuptials. But what adamant to go to solicitor meetings alone and registering only his name on the house. He said this shouldn’t affect me because we bought the house while married but that will save him hassle with his parents.

I’m currently SAHM to an infant and pregnant with second baby. Decision made by both me and DH. I quit my part time job as I couldn’t cope anymore and so majority of the running costs fall on his shoulders but I live my life with baby and I living on hand me downs and charity shops, food bought from child benefit to facilitate a stress free financial situation so DH pays back his parents ASAP so I can finally have my name on the house as promised.

I helped pay back the loan from my grandad and the mortgage. From doing things like renting our bedrooms in the house when we were running low and from saving up from my part time job. But I have no records of that because I was working freelance and won’t have proof of income as I was working flexibly from home while nursing a baby.

I am almost 100 percent sure the house registery issue was due to pressure by his parents. I do trust my husband but I want to know for myself whether I am compromised in this process at all in case anything happens to him, to our marriage or to the house...

I don’t feel great about it and I’m willing to do anything for my financial security if needed. Even if it means going back to work which isn’t my preference right now until I give birth and my baby is old enough.

Sorry for the many typos. It’s a flat not a house. And there is a possibility the flat will be sold in the near future but the possibility is slim, but it’s what his parents are pressuring and usually they end up blackmailing us into their decisions.

I don’t get any benefits related to me or the baby, and even the child benefit we have to pay it back at the end of the year due to DH working overtime. But I insisted to keep the child benefit as it’s my only source of income and pension for the future.

So I do feel like I’m giving up a lot for us to be able to secure the flat payments and I do feel like to some extend I should have some rights. Am I being greedy?

I do feel insecure in my marriage in general because my in laws have tried their best to sabotage it. And I only have my DHs word that he is working on it, which to be fair I see he is trying his best but they’re too much to handle.

I do feel insecure about the house and what I contributed because it’s likely it might be sold.

And I do feel insecure about whatever happens if something f happens to DH because he keeps mentioning it and his parents keep asking him to draft a will to state that they have a share in the flat, else I wouldn’t have thought about it as we are both young still. But seems sensible since I now have children and it seems I have in laws who are thinking far ahead and I don’t want to be kicked out with kids if something happens.

How can I protect myself and my financial status ?

No, no you are not. Hoping someone legal comes along in a minute. You are in a partnership, your name should be on the deeds from the off. His parents are unreasonable and if giving money as a loan and not a gift should have had the legal thingy (technical term!) saying what they were owed upon sale.

In the event of divorce the flat will be an asset of the marriage and will go into the pot to be split between you.

If he dies what happens depends on his will. However, if he does not make reasonable provision for you, you will be able to make a claim against his estate.

Will keep bumping for you - if noone legal advises then stick it in aibu for traffic tomorrow.

You can lodge a marital charge thingy (can't think of the name) against the marital home with the Land Registry to protect your position, as long as you're legally married.

Here;

www.irwinmitchell.com/about-us/newsletters/im-on-the-money/im-on-the-money-issue-ten/home-rights-notices-what-is-the-point

Your dh needs to stick up for you and your children and stand up to his parents. If he is unwilling to do this, your marriage is in serious trouble and you should not be putting money into non-liquid assets like a house.

They sound bloody awful - my dad lent me half our deposit, simply asked Did I trust DP? answer - yes. Nothing more said.

How long have you lived in the property ? You mention in your opening post that your husband hopes to pay back his parents in 3.5 years but then you say they want it paid back sooner. How much has your dh paid them & how much more is there to be paid back ?

All in all I think you are being screwed over. As someone above said, your dh should be on your side (that's what being married means) & no way should you have moved into the house without being on the deeds.

What guarantee do you have that your dh will add you onto the deeds once his parents have been paid off ??

At the very least I would make sure your dh has life assurance on him that is placed in trust to you, so if the worst happens you have some money to then be able to buy a property as I feel his parents would have first call on the house HE owns. (There is a thread on this very same subject where the OP was estranged & her DH died & his family are selling the house)

Hi all! Thanks so much for your replies.

Rage thanks so much for your support :).
prh so would I be safe staying the way I am or is there anything I need to do to secure myself and kids ?
Rubber thanks for the link I will have a read through today.
Sofia that’s the thing I’m quite resentful and I have told him my contributions will only come in when the house is in my name too as a partner, but practically we have a family and I can’t keep butting heads when I see him struggling to keep up, it’s just not my style. However I’m sure if I break it down to him in legal terms he will be concerned enough to realise why it’s a trust issue if he doesn’t step up.
Rage my Dp trusts me but they don’t want him to and I am pretty sure their loan was part of their plan of financial control. They sabotage s our plan to get the same loan from elsewhere more neutral.
hadthesnip we have been living in it for 1.5 years paying our loans, and have 2 years left. The deal was to pay a fixed monthly amount and that at the end of the year we would’ve saved up enough to pay the remainder of that yearly amount due. Which gives us a bit of flexibility. However they’re being quite manipulative about it but that’s for another thread.

So if something happens to my DH, are you saying that his parents have the first claim before his wife and kids? I’m pretty sure they looked into it as they’re very well versed in house purchases as they have a few houses and have been through all the legalities, my ignorance is not to my advantage. Would I be safe contributing with DH?

We discussed a mirror will, and life assurance. It was his idea as I see he is a little concerned but slightly confused. I didn’t push for it as we don’t actuallt have money for solicitors to draft it, but if it’s the only way to secure myself I will push for it and pay.

More info, not meaning to drip feed. I indirectly found out that his parents little secret agenda is to pressure him to sell the house once he finishes paying them and as they live abroad (expats outside the EU) they want him investing his money abroad. He is open with me about his ambition to keep the house and that there’s a slight possibility we will sell it if we move abroad but I’m more worried that his parents have plans up their sleeves to complete wipe me out as the country they live in doesn’t follow the same spousal rules when it comes to finances and each persons financial status is protected separately. Most likely they want him to invest that money with them, and they’re very wealthy and would have an interesting way to make it seem like they have our best interest at heart, while keeping hold of our money.

If the flat goes into your husbands name he will have sole rights over the home and mortgage while you are married. Our marital home is in my name. It was mine before we were together. I remortgaged this week and released tens of thousands of equity. Had I not told DH, he would be none the wiser. And it was all done online. No post came home to arouse suspicion.

Onering so we were living together and married 2 years before our house purchase. Does that make a difference?

Not if it's in his name. When I re mortgaged last week they didn't ask my relationship status, just my income, my bank statements and how much I wanted to release. DH didn't come into it at all. The only time the bank showed interest in him was when they asked him to sign a few years ago as an adult in the property to say their rights as lender trumped his as occupants in the case of repossession.

Yes, you are reasonably safe as you are. Getting the flat in joint names will make no difference if you divorce.

The issue you have if he dies is the loan from his parents which could be a problem. As the loan is in his name they can insist that the loan is paid off from his estate. If there is no other way to pay the loan that could mean the property will have to be sold. The simplest way to deal with that is for him to take out sufficient life insurance to pay off the loan should he die. If he does that they will not be able to force sale of the property.

If he dies without making a will you and your children will inherit everything. However, it would be a good idea to sort out wills.

There is a thread on this very same subject where the OP was estranged & her DH died & his family are selling the house

In that case, as lawyers advised on the thread, the OP was entitled to administer the estate herself. Instead of doing something about it she was complaining about her husband's family administering the estate and selling the house. On the information she gave the house would have to be sold regardless of who was administering the estate. Note that she did not live in the house at the time of death and, as her husband died without making a will, she will inherit anything left over from the house sale after his debts are settled. So that case was completely different to the situation here.

I was concerned when I read 'my dh pushed for a better house'. It wasn't really himpushing, was it? This all sounds like a complex and entangled way for your dh family to invest in property and possibly even to keep your dh earnings 'in the family' too. Can't pretend I have followed all the ins and outs but that detail stood out. It sounds as though you are living in their investment, more than your home.

Apols if I have misunderstood but that is my impression

Hopefully though if you take prh advice you are financially protected. The relationship side though sounds most uncomfortable. I wonder if you r dh would evwr be prepared to downsize to be more independent?

You can do a land registry search for £2 online.
I would check the flat is definitely in just dh name and also to see if his parents have registered any charges against it.

Rubber's suggeston is the most imorant immediate step you should take - that register's your spousal right even though you are not on the deeds as an owner and means he could not sell the property without your knowledge.

Also yes do the land registry on line search in case the place is in his parents' name or something like that.

I can't remember if the parents' sum was a loan or gift - from his parents. Mortgage companies often want the parents to certify it is a giflt not a loan and to put that in writing. Perhaps ask your husband if that happened here.

When you are not working. You need to claim child benefit, because the stamp contributes to your state pension & other benefits
Look on www.gov.uk
I believe you can claim the stamp, without claiming the money. Or claim the money & pay it back if he earns more than 50/60+k

Don't leave yourself financially vulnerable

In your position, it might be wise to try to get some savings together without your husbands knowledge. I always worry when outside people have that much influence over finances.