CAO - Absent father of 9 years has put in for one ...!

[Everton99]

Hi

Has anyone been through this ?

DD biological father not been involved since she was 3, very sporadic contact birth till 3, history of abuse , coercive control and alcohol/substance issues. So quite a few safeguarding concerns. Restraining order in place stating contact only via sol or court.

Long story , the said father disappeared with no contact details, stated on the application been living abroad !!

Aware CAFCASS will listen to DD wishes and feelings which is fine as I have never discussed anything bad with her but she does have a step father who she adores and sees as her dad.

Question , sol suggesting we put in for counter order plus step PR order , is this something others have experience of? Fees seem crazy but am presuming much better off being represented by sol and barrister ??

What happens if the ex does not turn up?? I mean typically he's claiming benefits! Will he get Legal aid?

Any advice appreciated !

A child only has one father although her Step dad may well be a much better father figure. Is your daughter curious about her Dad? Would seeing him necessarily be disastrous?

Your solicitor is far better placed to advise you on what to do than some internet randoms.

He won’t get legal aid unless he has been the victim of DV.

If he doesn’t turn up he’s unlikely to get the order he’s applied for.

A judge won't send her to a stranger... At 12 my ds went nc with his df. Court did not intervene at all. I would guess he may with a decent solicitor, get letter contact to begin with. She can't be forced to reply...

As said, you do need specialist advice on this, but I wish you well, and hope things turn out for the best.

It must be unsettling, but with good representation you will feel better.

Assuming you are in England/Wales he won't get PR. Scotland may differ.

Were you married to him? Is he on the birth certificate?

Are you married to the new chap?

I would hope a judge would tell him to give his head a wobble and allow your dd to see him only if she wants to. Hopefully she doesn't.
I don't think he has any right to waltz back in before her teenage years and upset things.

Sorry won't get legal aid! Not wont get PR

OP I’m going through similar. DC is 4, hasn’t seen “Dad” since a few weeks old, the cheeky fucker just me a mediation request.

Has gone to extreme lengths to avoid CMS, can’t hold a job, is regularly homeless or living in grim house shares, has substance abuse issues, is a compulsive liar, was coercive, financially/mentally/emotionally abusive to me, stole from me, etc etc.

I’m fucking furious. DC is a lovely little soul and I’ve worked hard to give DC a stable, secure, loving, comforting home and the thought of DC being shoved into a supervised contact centre full of strangers with some strange bloke they have zero memory of is making me fell really sick.