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Legal matters

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Emergency court order for variation to childcare order

2 replies

parapluiepliant · 22/06/2019 12:02

Hi all
How do I do this?

I want to apply for a variation to a childcare order. We have a court order from the family courts which states when contact takes place.

There is a history of DA (although it didn’t meet the threshold for crown prosecution).

My daughter is three. Contact was stopped 3 weeks ago on the advice of police/social worker. My little girl made a disclosure at nursery that her dad hit her with a stick. She also disclosed this to my older son. The nursery called MASH and concurred that my dd was very specific and went into detail.

My daughter was then with me 24/7. The police interviewed my 3 yo but said as there weren’t any witnesses it wouldn’t go any further.

My daughters dad turned up at the nursery to pick my daughter up on tuesday. My daughter hadnt been prepped and I hadnt been informed that he was picking her up. I went to the nursery, called the SW who didnt answer and finally decided that I didn’t want to break the court order and let my daughter know she was going to daddys.

He was there with his ex wife who he had appointed a chapetone. I asked her how long she would be doing this for and she didn’t know. The court order states my daughter was due back on wednesday at 6.30.

Her father has not brought her back and is witholding her from me. It’s now been 4 days. I have calked the police who say they cannot do anything as he has parental responsibility and they have closed the case re: hitting her.

When I collected my daughter and walked her calmly to her father I spotted my partner was sat outside on the wall opposite. I waved to him.
Then crossed the road and hugged him. He was there waiting to give me support which was a nice surprise.

My daughters dad then provoked my partner and shouted “Oi weirdo. I don’t know you. What are you doing?”

My dp turned around and said “what did you just say to me?” He then walked up to my daughters dad and said something about flattening him if he ever saw him on his own”

My daughter shouted “hello” to my partner. We have been together 2 years and are close.

My partner walked away. I told him to walk away and the whole episode was about 8 seconds.

The next thing I know, he is witholding contact, has broken the court order and I have my daughter for the majority of time in the court order although the judge ordered a ‘lives with both’ order.

I am in pieces. My daughter will not cope for this amount of time without me. This is a man who allegedly hit his daughter and now is witholding her from me. This is not putting the child first imo.

I found out from SS that dd’s dad called SS at 10am on weds claiming there was a serious incident and that my partner threatened him and he felt my daughter was not safe in my care with my partner around. He is saying he is taking care of my dd until this is investigated.

The nursery have called the police with two impartial witness statements who saw my daughters dad approach my oartner and provoke him first. Its now been 4 days. The police haven’t been in touch with my partner. Its certainly not ‘the serious incident’ my daughters father claims.

This is crazy. How do I get my daughter back. I have trigger evidence for legal aid from past DA and have a solicitors appointment on monday to apply for legal aid (but it could take weeks). I have a free 30 min slot on weds with a solicitor.

But I feel I have to apply for an emergency variation to the court order immediately on my own. Any advice on how to do this?

I have not broken the court order and do not want to get into a cycle of him witholding contact then me doing it as it us not stable for my daughter.

I’ve also been advised to speak to WORTH services as this is a form of control and there is certainly no danger to my daughter in my care.

Thanks so much for your time. I am at my wits end. I have three children (my der two have a great dad and we parent 50/50 equally and are friends).
Unfortunately my youngest daughters dad is erratic and manipulative.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 22/06/2019 12:56

It causes complications that your partner threatened dds dad. What do you want to happen as regards contact going forward?

parapluiepliant · 22/06/2019 13:43

Thanks for responding RedHelenB
Yes, I'm aware, you are right, it has caused complications as now he has something he can use. Although dd's father provoked my partner. I have pointed it that he should not have said he would flatten him - although off the record he deserves it. But obvs i would not ever condone aggression.

My daughter loves my partner and he is great.

Going forward, i want the variation to have a lived with order with the mother and reasonable contact with the father. I want the holiday time reduced with the father as he has broken the contact order previously by not sticking to the days he was supposed to have our daughter.

There have been constant problems where he will not communicate despite me offering a contact book and the court order stating he needs to communicate re: our daughter. My daughters nursery have expressed concern to my daughters new school about his erratic behaviour to the point they have asked him not to attend parents evenings. he has also shouted at the nursery managers over the phone.

There is history where he has hit my older daughter and emotional and physical DA towards me and previously he has lifted our daughter up by one arm roughly when she was a baby and made her scream with pain. He gets away with this behaviour by acting perfectly whenever he is in public and being super manipulative and charming.

My daughter should not be witheld from me by this man. unfortunately i have to try to parent with him and it is a toxic process. Her behaviour takes a downturn whenever she has been with him.

OP posts:
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