I have name changed for this as it is way too outing.
It’s a long one so I am going to try and keep it as short as possible.
Me and ex split up over 7 years ago. We have 1 dd who is now 10. Contact has been every other weekend and extra time in the school holidays.
I split up with ex, my decision, I just wasn’t happy anymore.
A year later, my dd who was 3 at the time told me that her grandad on her dads side had inappropriately touched her once she had got home from a weekend with her dad.She said it in quite a full extent that i do not believe any child at the age of 3 would understand unless it happened.
Before I called the police (I know I should have done this straight away) I called ex to come round to speak the following day to make him aware. I told him what had happened and he didn’t believe her, said it was a lie.
That evening she was in a lot of discomfort and crying saying her privates were sore.
I took her straight to a&e and told them what she had said. They called social services and the police for me.
She had no urine infection or anything else they could find wrong, put was really red and distressed they said in their report.
I tried calling dad numerous times and text to inform him but no answer.
The man was arrested, questioned etc. He was let out and then my daughter was interviewed and had to have a medical examination.
She was coming out with more things too at this point so it wasn’t just the once this had happened.
Dad refused to believe her still. So did his family.
CPS decided not to proceed with the case.They said it would be an unfair trial to him because my daughters speech and understanding of questions. She would not be able to be cross examined, and due to lack of evidence without her being questioned they couldn’t proceed. If she remembered anything in the future then they would open the case back up.
I suffered terrible with mental health after it all came out. I have spent the last 6 years feeling guilty everytime I look at her, and praying that she never ever remembers anything. She is a happy, beautiful, clever girl and I am so proud of her.
Now, ss put in place after all this that she was to have no contact with her paternal grandfather. Me and her dad both agreed to this. As far as I know she hasn’t. But there have been times he has wanted to take her to family parties and I have said no. I know this man would be there.
Fast forward to the beginning of this year and he is in a new relationship. When he had our daughter he was taking her to stay at his girlfriends. He said they wanted to move in together, when I asked where she lived it turns out it’s on the same road as his father. I said no, I want allowing it.
So he has took me to family court for what I believed was for our daughter to be allowed to stay there.
Once at the 1st hearing, I found out that he actually wanted everything lifted. He feels that ‘time has ran its course’ and she should be able to attend family events with him there. Can I add that his family didn’t see her for 4 years because they didn’t believe her. I have said she is allowed to go parties as long as HE isn’t there so she doesn’t have to miss out. This was really hard for me to say because I believe that his family shouldn’t just flutter in and out of her life.
So I have said to the court that I do not agree to her having contact with that man at all. I worry it could trigger something for her and I do not want that to happen obviously.
At the 1st hearing they said it was too serious for them to deal with and sent it to higher court. They said in the meantime she is not allowed to stay at the girlfriends or have any contact with his father.
So we have had cafcass meetings. My daughter has been spoken to, the school have had to do a report. I have really been struggling again because I don’t want people to feel sorry for her. I don’t want her to be seen as that child. Also, the details her dad has put in his report.
He has said that I basically made it up and convinced our daughter what to say. I am absolutely disgusted he has said that!
He has said he knows he is innocent.
I just found out from cafcass today that her dads father has been charged with sexual assault and is due in court in August. Her dad still pleads his innocence in this too.
Cafcass have said that they don’t think she should have any contact with him. But she should be allowed to stay his girlfriends.
Now, I’m not sure where I stand. I do not want this to happen. She lives on the same street and it would be very easy to bump into him. The parking for all houses is along the road and you just park where you can so it could mean having to park outside his house.
He also runs a pub on the same road. The same shops/park etc.
My daughter said a few months ago that she pulled up outside the pub to speak to his girlfriend and they sat there for 20 minutes talking. Now, if the court have said she isn’t allowed to go the girlfriends house because of how close it is to his home then I don’t know why her dad would think that that was ok. She also said she has been to a party in the pub a few years ago. I can’t prove this. But I believe it.
Can I add that I am happily married, he has had multiple relationships and I am happy for my daughter to spend time with his girlfriend just not at the location where her house is. It is 200 yards between their houses.
I have court next Monday. I’m not sleeping, I am overthinking everything.
I don’t know what to do. I’m not even sure what I’m asking here. Has anyone had family court judge go against something cafcass have said?