Return of absent parent after 6 years

[Keziah2020]

After 6 years, absent parent has returned. It hasn't really changed anything as he lives in Dubia, so occasional visits/calls/Skype. It has been 8 months now.

The problem is he would like child to visit him in Dubai (the paternal grandparents would take him) over Xmas. I think I can decline this as clearly he hasn't been a consisten physical presence but can I? And if so, how long can I go on declining? Is this something that could be forced through the courts. I'd consider this maybe during the teenage years but right now, we still co-sleep and my little girl is quite attached to me. My absent does cause anxiety for her, longest time a part has been about 16 hours.

She is 8.

You have to offer something that makes it appear as though you are compromising.

Bastard.

If he lives in Dubai, don't even think about allowing your DD to go there - if he decided not to return her, you may have no way to get her back.

You could allow him to see her here (and get a ban on her being taken out of the country). If he took you to court, there's no way they'll require her to go overseas. I don't know about contact in the UK.

Agree with PP, do not let her out of the country, you might not get her back. If he wants to see her he can come and visit and you can offer short day visits with your DD in a place SHE is comfortable, not him.

Ask him to write to her. I bet he doesn't. But if he does he will have to put some effort I.

And I agree. Not Dubai.

Do not let her out of the country , you will have one hell of a time trying to get her back if the worst happens. I would also be very cautious of allowing any unsupervised visits with parental grandparents. The courts will back you on this. What is his reason for contact now?

You are very brave OP. My sons dad has been absent for nearly 4 and I just couldn't allow unsupervised contact. There is no relationship at all. He has to earn your trust again.
Please do not let her leave the country. I'd rather put my foot down than risk her not returning

You have to offer something that makes it appear as though you are compromising

Supervised contact at his parents in the UK seems reasonable. Up to him if he wants to fly back for it.

You have no rights in the middle East, do not let her be taken there, do not take her there yourself.

All visits have been here and supervised by me. It is a relief to hear others feel as I do. I am happy to make an effort as I think it is good she gets to know her dad, but it's hard with him being so far away. He has no idea of the hard graft it is being the day to day parent. I never imagined Dubai would ever be the place he ended up in.

I would not let her out of the country and insist any meeting you might agree to in the future would be at a properly supervised contact centre near her home.

No WAY!

Do not let her out of the country. I know someone who's kid went to visit the dad in Canada and has now been there 3 years.. it's an awfully sad situation

It is scary the idea he could keep her.

Just to check - legally I have a reasonable arguement to long term deny overseas visitation requests? Aware some places have overseas child abduction laws but don't think that includes Dubai.

Stanski - that is shocking and heartbreaking!!

Yes, and it's likely any reasonable judge would grant you an order preventing DD from being removed from the country.

Does your daughter see his parents regularly?

Due to distance, don't see the paternal grandparents often either and only in the last eight months too.

Then he won't stand a chance of getting contact in Dubai. He would have to firstly establish a relationship with her, and as PPs have said, start coming to see her in the UK. There are all sorts of obstacles to parents going through the courts to take a child to a non-Hague Convention country for a visit.

Fuck no.

Get legal advice
Your biggest issue is your daughter would be distressed in a strange country with a practical stranger if he isn’t bothered by this this is a major red flag
Insist on the building up of relationship first
Side point co sleeping at 8 is bit weird

I wouldn’t let her visit him abroad, nothing will happen if he decides to keep her. Don’t trust him.
And agree with a pp.
Co sleeping at 8??
And you haven’t been apart for more than 16 hours? Of course the poor kid had anxiety!

Attachment parenting is following the child's lead on what they need and how much they feel they need the parent until they are ready to little by little let go. It is working. Co-sleeping is a big part because most mammals co-sleep, most adults in relationship co-sleep so makes sense a child would rather be in the company of protectors safe and snug sleeping until ready to try alone. It's quite normal when it becomes your normal, though as someone who was put in a cot in my own room on the first day of my life outside the womb - co-sleeping did take some mental adjustment as i thought it was weird lol.

It is comforting to hear that it would not be an easy process for him to try to enforce visits overseas. That legally I have a valid point of view.

Does he have parental responsibility for the child?

Does the child already have a passport? If so, do you know where it is?

Sometimes worth contacting the passport office to get a note put on the passport file to the effect that non resident partner, resident abroad, should not be allowed to apply for a replacement passport.