Divorce going nowhere, I’m broke, need help to end it.

[Whatisthisfuckery]

Hi, I wonder if there any legal bods who can advise me. My solicitor is utterly useless.

This might be long so please bare with.

I moved out of the shared ownership house which me and H own 25%. We are joint tenants and the mortgage is in both of our names. I left with our DS, who was 6 at the time, because H was abusive plus another issue.

I’ve been chasing him for 6 years to sort out the financial side of the divorce and he’s basically done nothing. We went to mediation and made an agreement. I had the order drawn up but he refused to sign, threw it in the bin. He’s ignored countless letters, lied over and over again and he’s made no attempt to sort things out.

I am disabled and living on benefits so don’t have much money. I’m also living in private rent, which is very hard to come by in my situation and what is available is very expensive. I’ve had three addresses in 5.5 years.

Anyway I wanted to sort things out once and for all, because atm I’m still on the mortgage, and more importantly I’m still on a social housing tenancy at an address where I don’t live and it’s unsafe for me to return to.

Last year I instigated court preceedings to try and get things settled. Unfortunately this coincided with H getting made redundant from his job due to alcoholism. He also has a disability which means that he can claim benefits so he won’t have to work. He got £36000 redundancy and he new court was pending. He could have paid off the £8000 mortgage but he chose not to. He could have bought me out but he chose not to.

We went to court, after one postponement on his behalf and with him having provided almost none of the information required. To cut a long story short the judge said he wouldn’t recommend the sale of the matrimonial home because it was meeting his housing needs. He encouraged us to agree as a final hearing would be expensive.

We made an agreement where I’d let him stay in the house if he paid off the mortgage, which he could afford to do, and get me off the tenancy. In return I’d get £60% from when the house is finally sold.

I went ahead and got the paperwork for the equity transfer but it’s been tumbleweed.

So now I’m facing a final hearing with the same judge and no hope of forcing the sale. I’m absolutely skint, flat stoney broke and I can’t afford it.

I want to drop the court proceedings because I can’t afford it and there’s nothing in it for me. I’ve asked my solicitor how to go about it and he’s just humed and haad and not told me anything. He just muttered something about making sure they don’t apply for costs and that was it.

So can anyone tell me what I need to do to ask the court to cancel the hearing? And what is this about costs?

Please help me, it’s got me up nights worrying, I’m broke and I’m about to move house so I’m already stressed

Sorry, I’m not legally qualified, but just wanted to say my ex procrastinated too for a long time when I was trying to get everything sorted, and it was costing loads in fees, mediation etc without going anywhere. So I stopped using my solicitor and took my ex to court as a litigant in person, representing myself. Other than the court cost it didn’t cost me anything more (than a lot of printer ink and a good hole punch) and I was dealing directly with his solicitor. And as I was unrepresented his solicitor had to do things like put the bundle together. Worked so much better and fast then - but I had already consulted a barrister too and had a good idea of what to expect. We only got to the 2nd Hearing before my ex suddenly became reasonable.

I believe you can ask the Judge to make an order that he sign the necessary documents instead of your husband.

You need to get your husband to make an Undertaking to sign the necessary documents and that the Judge will do so if he does not.

www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/family/practice_directions/pd_part_33a

OP has not got a final order.

OP - go to the final hearing. Assuming you have evidence of the agreement, show it to the judge and ask him or her to make that order.

Make sure that there is a provision for the house to be sold if he doesn’t clear the mortgage within a set time (if the money is in the bank, I’d give him 56 days).

You might find you’re getting the money back earlier than you thought.

Also, the only judicial opinion you got was at FDR. That is not binding, and I’ve seen these cases get decided the other way too.

If you can’t afford representation you must self represent.

Thank you all for the responses.

I don’t think this man is about to be reasonable. He’s made it quite clear to me that he intends to punish me for leaving him and as far as he’s concerned the judge has given the green light to carry on. He thinks he’s unassailable.

Ok, so I decide to self represent, how do I go about submitting all my info? It’s more difficult for me because as I’ve said I have a disability. I’m blind, and I have very little help. Don’t I have to submit my bundle in a certain way. If it was just a case of sending in documents I could do that, but I think there’s more to it than that, is that right?

Unfortunately I don’t think he has enough money any more. Like I said he;s an alcoholic. He got the 36k last July, by the beginning of March he had 18k left so he burned through 18k in 8 months. There is 6 months between hearings so I expect there to be little if anything left by then. He’s drank the lot. On his last set of bank statements he’d spent £1500 on legal fees and the rest went in the pub and the supermarket.

Sorry but I've no advice about how to do it when you're blind. Could a charity help? Does the judge know? Write to the court to say you're shelf representing and you're blind, and specify what you need to happen for you to stay involved.

You could ask the court to freeze his remaining savings. That is known as a s37 application but a message board is not the place for me to start telling you more about these.

You will not have to prepare a bundle if you are self representing.

OP, your trial should not be heard by the judge who heard the FDR. That's a serious procedural issue and will render any order liable to be set aside.

The Court has a statutory duty to ensure that your disability does not impede your access to a fair hearing, and you need to start talking about your Article 6 rights (right to a fair trial). That's a Human Rights issue and is generally a big red button to remind judges when they are about to go seriously off piste.

The Court can do all kinds of things to help. Sadly, I haven't run a case for a blind client, so I don't have much first hand experience of what might help you, but as an example I currently have a severely autistic client who attends hearings via video link from my office, with an intermediary to help ensure she understands, and that her responses are understood. Deaf or non English speaking clients have interpreters provided.

The RNIB have a legal rights service that might be able to help with what courts can do.

www.rnib.org.uk/services-we-offer-advice-and-support-services/legal-rights-service

What do you need to be able to read documents? You need to be able to read papers in court.

Thank you for the link MrsBertbibby, I’ll have a look at that now.

Is it worth me ringing the court to ask for info? I might also raise the fact that it’s the same judge, and more than one person has said that he should be disqualified from hearing the case a second time.

Re my initial question: How do I go about ending the case? The chances are that there’s nothing in it for me if I continue, and as I’ve already said I’m moving house in a month, so I’m busy and stressed out from that. Thing is, if a judge makes an order whereby H gets to stay in the house, which is quite likely, I’ll be awarded something like 60% of the final sale, where as if I sit tight and and stay married (I don’t want to but it might be the best outcome) I’ll get the lot when he pops off anyway. He could make a will but knowing him as I do I doubt it, and because of the booze his health is already failing. I’m wondering if this is the best course of action. I need to know how to drop things if I choose, and how to insure the vindictive twat doesn’t go for costs.

If the house represents the sum total of the assets involved then it's not a given that you're going to get nothing. How much equity is there?

I would not expect a court to let a single adult stay in a house giving nothing to the parent with care of a child, unless the remaining adult could

A pay off the other spouse's equity
B get the other spouse's name off the mortgage, and
C get the tenancy transferred (the HA can object to this)

Just push on to the trial, OP. Then it will be done, at least.

Was the agreement about 60% reached at that hearing, and recorded at court? Or just between you afterwards?

Our share of the house is worth roughly twice what it was when we took out the mortgage. My share, taking into account the outstanding portion of the mortgage is worth about 20k. This is according to the valuation H got for the first hearing. I’m a bit dubious though because I spoke to the valuer myself and he said it was an onstreet valuation. He told H that he needed a RICS surveyor because it’s a shared ownership property and I’m not sure he even entered the house. H hasn’t had the RICs survey done but if he had then I think the value would be much lower. H has destroyed the garden, it’s beyond disgusting, and he’s let the house fall into disrepair. In reality it would have to go for a bargain price because it’s such a state. I think in reality my share would be worth much less, or we’d somehow have to pay to restore the house. He’s trashed it, but you can bet he’d do nothing about restoring it if it came to sale. I feel screwed either way.

I just called RNIB. They only deal with sight loss and disability discrimination. They told me nothing useful at all unfortunately. Bloody hell this is so hard.

The 60% was agreed at court. It was an agreement made to try to settle the matter which he hasn’t honoured but it was written up in the judges notes.

I’ve given H the forms to transfer the equity and the tenancy, he’s done nothing. The agreement was that he pay off mortgage, get me off tenancy, which only he can do if he wants it in his name only, and that we sign a Martin order saying he could stay until the usual trigger points and I’d get 60% when the house is finally sold. There was an 8 week stay while we sorted this and I did my bit, sent him all the documentation via his solicitor but there’s been tumbleweed.

This is basically the deal that the judge said I’d get, and again, he said something about H applying for costs. It’s the same judge again so that makes me extra wary. I was talking to a local SW and he, out of the blue, said, ‘oh it’s not Johnson is it? He’s the worst one.’ (Not judge’s real name) Yes, it is Johnson and yes, he does appear to be more interested in H than me and our DS. He knows DS doesn’t even see his father because the the drinking but still he’s more bothered about H.

Sorry, moaning now but I’m just frustrated. Feels like I’m banging my head against a brick wall.