If a person is proven to be abusive towards a child age 8...

[miti]

...hypothetically, would a woman who also had a child with the same man, and had her own safeguarding concerns, be able to reasonably withhold access to their 1 year old?

I've been told by many that regardless of abuse, the courts always grant access. Even if a man has abused (emotionally, breaking things, breaking toys, rough play that is not appropriate, child in severe distress) one child, and neglected another, he will still get access.

Curious to hear opinions. Preparing for a long court battle but I will fight tooth and nail for my baby boy.

May have to bump tomorrow as just at realised it's 11:30 🤦‍♀️

dont know the legal side of it = but i would be fighting also - i think you need to get a court order/SS involved when you stop contact or you are seen as the "bad" person.

the courts are very messed up, whilst i agree dad should have contact, i dont always believe its in the child's best interests unsupervised or 50/50 (especially not in this case)!

Thanks carly. I accept that zero contact will not be granted so leaving that idea at the door.

He's not a good man. He abused me, his ex, his daughter, his son, and his mum. Apparently also physically abused another ex. I had no idea of this.

Knowing my son will eventually likely have unsupervised access kills me.

It is really difficult having to think about your child being in the care of an abusive twat.

My own experience of not having independent proof is that neither Cafcass nor the court gave it any serious consideration whatsoever. They really had no time for anything I said and I've been through the court process more than once.

Is the abuse towards the 8 year old proven?

@Doyoumind it isn't proven, but she disclosed it to the school and they're working with her. I can vouch for certain things. I disclosed a number of things to women's aid. His daughter disclosed a lot of the same things.

It's in the process of being dealt with.

I feel sick about it all. I've even moved 200 miles away from him.

I disclosed issues to various people but as there was no police involvement it was never anything more than my word when it came to court.

I'm sorry to agree you should expect contact to be granted. I would do all you can to make sure you have as much control as possible and that means if it comes to it making sensible proposals that the court can buy into and that show you have the child's best interests at heart. It worked to some extent for me.

If it does go to court come back for guidance as there are lots of things I wish I had known first time round.

I tried to have police involvement but they aren't interested. It's been talked about at MARAC, and I do have an injunction against him. It's all a big shambles. I'm terrified of any outcome.

Seeing a solicitor tomorrow. Let's see....

Bumping this morning

I've been told by many that regardless of abuse, the courts always grant access

This is simply not true.

@MissMalice I believe it's true that most dads are granted access (and they should be is they are decent people) and that many, many abusive dads are also granted access. I don't think I could ever expect no contact in my case even though he's been abusive to so many people including his children. I may be entirely wrong however!

*if

Wow feel like I have written this post myself , I am in the same situation, I recently found out my 1yr olds father was seen assaulting his 10yr old and SS have taken her from his care and can only see her supervised, iv point blank said mine baby won’t be going anywhere with him , he is in a violent relationship with the 10yr olds mum who is using heroine, the question is, will your child’s dad fight u for access ? Coz mine won’t but I’m taking him to court to get this set legally and also try have DD’s surname changed to mine, I have heard nothing from him or the family about seein my D they have just accepted I have said no

If he's on the birth certificate then he'll get access of some sorts, whether that be in a contact centre to start with etc. But if he has behaved like that to you and your child then you need to report this to the police asap and in regards to you stopping contact you're doing the right things with your concerns. Good luck

If he's on the birth certificate then he'll get access of some sorts

Not necessarily. It is absolutely not the case that the courts always order contact regardless of abuse. Each case is looked at individually. It depends on the evidence.

@prh47bridge Would u advise to take evidence with me like something in writing for social services or will I speak and then it’s investigated n return for another hearing, I really don’t no what happens

@prh47bridge iv spoken with Caffcass they’ve asked if I feel I need my d safeguarding in case he requests access at the name change hearing, he isn’t that bothered or he would of took me to court for access it seems so u fair iv took the first steps paid the legal fees and he can come and ask for access when that’s not what the hearing is about, does the judge look at that that he’s only there coz I’m fighting to protect my child not because he wants to get things arranged :/