Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Change child’s surname

79 replies

Marley040783 · 05/06/2019 11:42

Hi all, has anyone ever gone through the courts to change your child’s surname , my application is accepted to take father to court, just wondering what they ask me and do I have to take any evidence etc with me?

OP posts:
Collaborate · 07/06/2019 06:10

@MummyParanoia10 I suggest you look back at the thread and ask yourself whether a change to OP’s surname could ever “protect” the child.

Collaborate · 07/06/2019 06:12

OP. Do continue with your application. It’s your right. But report back here to let is know how you get on.

Original poster
Marley040783 · 07/06/2019 06:29

I will , my hearing is a few weeks away yet, my child is already known by this name to most, I don’t want her to feel segregated when she is older having a different name to the rest of her family, passport is another main, I’ll have huge issues going outside the EU with a passport in another name wether I have the birth certificate or not

OP posts:
JeremyCorbynsCoat · 07/06/2019 06:36

You may have better success double barrelling her surname (ie just adding yours)

MissMalice · 07/06/2019 07:02

who had their surnames changed for protection of their identity

Collaborate hasn’t said it’s impossible. They’ve said it’s hard to achieve and requires a solid benefit to the child. Protection of identity is a solid benefit. That doesn’t make it likely for anyone else. I have personal experience of a name change - even double barrelling wasn’t a given and that was for reasons of protecting identity. It’s a high bar.

meditrina · 07/06/2019 07:12

collaborate has a solid track record of giving good advice.

And I think you have misunderstood the point about the 1980s. She's not making a historic point, she is telling you that there is a solid body of precedent that dates back for decades and which is how courts/judges apply the law. Cases which overturn precedent need to be exceptionally strong.

I have not seen the pms, but from what has been posted openly on the thread, I think OP needs to be realistic about chances of success.

"Clearly iv mistaken the mumsnet site for somewhere for help and advice"

You are getting very good advice. It into what you want to hear, but that does not make it wrong or inapplicable.

ChilliMum · 07/06/2019 07:13

Op, even if you can't legally change her name you can have (or at least you used to be able to) have a 'known by' name.

So when you register at the doctors, school etc.. you register in her legal name ddx but inform them that she is known as ddy.

I had a friend who did this and as far as I am aware apart from when the dd took her GCSE and had to write her legal name on the paper no-one ever used her birth name.

EdithWeston · 07/06/2019 07:13

"I’ll have huge issues going outside the EU with a passport in another name wether I have the birth certificate or not"

No you won't. My DC have a different surname to me, and although there have been some checks, it's really very straightforward.

44HuntJas · 07/06/2019 07:15

I changed my surname because I didn't live with my mum, only visited, I lived with my Nan and step-grandad and wanted their last name instead. Thankfully mum agreed. I was in Year 5 and it was very easily done but then I was old enough to make my views known and it was very much my idea alone, no one asked me to.

Original poster
Marley040783 · 07/06/2019 07:16

@MissMalice , I agree it’s a very high bar , my reply earlier wasn’t to yours I agree with what you wrote about this is not the 80’s. I am not disheartened by all the answers because my child is safe, loved and happy and that’s all that matters for me, the surname is just a last hurdle

OP posts:
44HuntJas · 07/06/2019 07:17

questions and feeling separate to their parent by having different names. The courts long ago stated such reasons fall well short of the threshold to justify a change.

That was the reason mine was changed in 2005. When did it change?

ralphfromlordoftheflies · 07/06/2019 07:18

Of course you won't have huge issues travelling with her, how ridiculous. My son has a different surname than mine and I have never once had an issue flying with him.

You may no longer like your DC having that particular surname and you may no longer like your DC's father but ultimately you picked and agreed to that surname for your DC which is now part of their identity.

I too would prefer for my DS to share my surname but that too was the name I agreed to when I registered his birth.

Bluestitch · 07/06/2019 07:19

My friend was successful in getting her surname added, so double barrelled. They had agreed this prior to the birth but her then husband registered the birth alone and omitted hers. When they separated she argued that her surname reflected part of her child's heritage (she is from a different country and is raising child bilingual). The Judge allowed this change, maybe because she wasn't trying to remove his name but add her own too?

Original poster
Marley040783 · 07/06/2019 07:20

@chillimum- Known by? Thank you :) I will
Look into this

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 07/06/2019 07:20

I think you should look at the advice from Collaborate and Prh and think about how you can use it to help you decide what you want to say in court.

I’d stay away from the passport business for a start. I travel out of the EU and without my child’s father all of the time and my dc don’t even have the same nationality as me. I’ve been questioned loads of times but you just answer the questions. They are to stop parental abduction so if you aren’t abducting your child...it’s fine.

Get a friend to ask you the questions that they might ask and get it all straight in your head so you feel confident with what you want to say. I think it can be really difficult to talk about something so emotive, especially something about your child like this without forgetting something you wanted to say.

Talk to the people you know who’ve already succeeded in getting their child’s surname changed and see what they said and what they didn’t say.

I really hope it goes well for you.

MissMalice · 07/06/2019 07:28

Lots of information here www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.Aspx?i=ed117605

Myusernameismud · 07/06/2019 07:36

So here's a question, what if your children's absent father would never consent to you taking them out of the country? Do you then lie to whoever it is that may question you? Because despite what everyone says about it never happening it happened to my sister a few years ago! My children have a different surname to me and my husband, and their biological waste of space father will never consent to a change of name, or to allow my husband to have PR. We have no address or working phone number for him to even ask anymore (last I heard he was living in a squat somewhere in London). My children already use our surname in day to day life, but 12 year old DD has said on plenty of occasions that she hates it when they use her legal name at the doctors etc. The last meaningful contact they had with him was in 2014, since then they've seen him once for about 10 minutes, which was 2 years ago.

Where do we stand legally? We've considered step parent adoption, and we did start the ball rolling (had a first visit from social services) but DS is currently undergoing assesment for autism and we agreed that trying to do both at once was too much. The social worker was happy with that decision and said that we can start the process again at any time.

Despite what people think, there are genuine circumstances where changing a child's surname is for the best and I do find it quite upsetting that it may never happen for us.

Original poster
Marley040783 · 07/06/2019 07:50

@myusernameismud , don’t feel that way, I have read so much on this and yes I know it’s not a dead cert I’ll get what I’m asking but I
Won’t know until I try, you can also apply for a court order and read up
On deedpole as there are options for absent fathers, also fill in a c100 on the direct gov page, all they can say is no, they accepted and rang me within a week, I hope you get sorted

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 07/06/2019 08:02

what if your children's absent father would never consent to you taking them out of the country? Do you then lie to whoever it is that may question you?

You go to court and get permission or get a child Arrangement Order which means you can take them for up to 28 days without permission

Original poster
Marley040783 · 07/06/2019 08:05

Have you got passports for your children?

OP posts:
Myusernameismud · 07/06/2019 08:08

And what if you want to go abroad more than once a year? Not that we can do that every year, but next year we have a holiday abroad booked which we have saved for for 2 years, a weekend in Ireland to stay with family, plus a day trip to calais. Are we supposed to go to court every time? What a ludicrous waste of time and money.

ralphfromlordoftheflies · 07/06/2019 08:11

You get a specific issue order, which is what I have, and can then go on holiday as many times as you like without consent from the other parent. It's very straightforward.

30not13 · 07/06/2019 08:16

Protect her from being traced in the future? But surely he knows your surname Confused

dementedpixie · 07/06/2019 08:18

www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/types-of-court-order. If you have a Child Arrangement order you can take them away for up to 28 days without permission. You don't need to go to court each time

TheRedBarrows · 07/06/2019 08:19

Is her father on her birth certificate?

Does he actually oppose a name change?