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Original poster

Can he take my grandchild?

29 replies

aerokitkat1 · 04/06/2019 21:35

Can my daughter's boyfriend take their 6-week-old baby and leave? They live together, he is named on the birth cert, so I realise he has PR too. He has threatened this a couple of times during arguments and she is scared he will do it. If he does can she do anything about it immediately, or just take him to court?
Thank you.
PS yes I have advised her to seriously consider whether this is a relationship she needs to be in, but right now I just need to know how she stands legally please.

OP posts:
DewDropsonKittens · 04/06/2019 21:37

Yes he can take her and she will need to go to court to have the child returned.

Doyoumind · 04/06/2019 21:40

Is she breastfeeding at all?

Original poster
aerokitkat1 · 04/06/2019 21:42

Thank you.

OP posts:
Gruzinkerbell1 · 04/06/2019 21:44

She can talk to social services and the police immediately. Tell them that he is threatening to take their newborn baby away. They will stop him in his tracks and hopefully issue a temporary order that forbids him from having contact with either of them for up to a month. This will give her time to get to court for an emergency residence order.

Obviously that only works if she’s willing to end the relationship.

mama1980 · 04/06/2019 21:44

Yes he can, if he is on the birth certificate he has equal PR. It would not be kidnapping etc unless there was already a court order in place.
She would need to go to the police and then to court.
Does she breast feed? That would make a difference.
Have she made any reports of substance or domestic violence? This would also have an impact.

mama1980 · 04/06/2019 21:45

She needs to report these threats to the police and s immediately. Prohibitive steps can be taken to make her and the baby safe.

AnotherEmma · 04/06/2019 21:47

Prohibited steps orders
A prohibited steps order (PSO) is an order the court can make to forbid a person who has PR for a child from taking certain action in relation to that child. You can ask the court to make a PSO forbidding your child’s other parent or another person with PR to:
remove your child from your care;
remove your child from school;
take your child abroad;
bring your child into contact with certain people;
change the child’s surname.
The court can make these orders without the other person being given notice of the hearing in an emergency. The court may make a temporary or interim PSO and arrange another hearing when the other person can attend and put his or her side of the story. A PSO could also be made to last indefinitely.
rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/children-law-parents-separate/

Doyoumind · 04/06/2019 22:23

IANAL but I think she would have problems trying to secure a PSO if she hasn't separated from the father.

AnotherEmma · 04/06/2019 22:24

Yes that info is on a page about separation

Original poster
aerokitkat1 · 05/06/2019 00:17

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate your responses xx

OP posts:
Original poster
aerokitkat1 · 05/06/2019 00:22

Regarding abuse, not physical, but certainly verbal.

OP posts:
mama1980 · 05/06/2019 07:58

It sounds from this limited info that she needs to separate from him, then report his threats to the police and SS immediately.
She needs keep any evidence of his emotional abuse, text messages, if other people have witnessed the abuse etc.
As others have said a PSO is unlikely to be granted whilst she is still with him.
Without it yes he can take his child.

I hope your dd finds the strength to leave him.

Original poster
aerokitkat1 · 05/06/2019 09:34

Thank you ❤️ They are both very young. She loves him but is sick of him demeaning her. The flat is in her name so her home is safe but I think she's scared if she kicks him out he will take the child.
Her ex kept her first child following a contact visit and refused to give him back. She had to fight for a long time to get proper access to him. I can't bear to see this possibly all happen again. We are very close but she lives a long way from me which makes it even harder 😢

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 05/06/2019 09:39

Her choice in men isn't good, is it? I suppose this man knows what the previous one did, and that a threat like this will cause her maximum distress.

AnotherEmma · 05/06/2019 09:46

I would suggest Women's Aid and the Freedom Programme to her.

Original poster
aerokitkat1 · 05/06/2019 10:45

Singlenotsingle, yes exactly.
Thank you all again. I am going to share this link with her so she can read all of your advice. Then it's there if and when she decides she needs it xx

OP posts:
mama1980 · 05/06/2019 10:50

Given those details I would advise her again to contact both the police and SS then kick him out and put a protection order in place. Being proactive to protect her child and her rights with SS not just waiting for something to happen will speak in her favour.
Mediation will then be advised to facilitate and schedule his contact with their baby.
The Freedom Programme sounds like it would be a very good thing for her to work through.

EuromumAussiekid · 12/06/2019 12:28

What does breastfeeding have to do with it?

flamingjune123 · 12/06/2019 12:53

What does breastfeeding have to do with it?
Because a father can't breastfeed and the baby would need to be returned to the mother immediately I'd assume

EuromumAussiekid · 12/06/2019 13:59

@flamingjune123 that won't count as baby can be fed formula. If it went to court that's the least of the problems

picklemepopcorn · 12/06/2019 14:02

Breastfeeding has to be supported. The mum can't breastfeed part time, as her milk would dry up. Therefore the baby needs to be fed my mum whenever necessary so can't live with dad.

EuromumAussiekid · 12/06/2019 14:04

@picklemepopcorn honestly that won't be taken into account if the mum is proven to be an unfit parent.

picklemepopcorn · 12/06/2019 14:08

That isn't what this thread is about though.

JustAnotherLawyer · 12/06/2019 20:14

Breastfeeding is widely known to be in the best interests of the child, so the court would absolutely take that into consideration.

Why do people persist in posting such nonsense when they clearly do not have a clue.

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