will - what to leave to second wife

[SophyStantonLacy]

just interested to hear a range of opinions on this.

my dad has recently got married to a woman about 15 years younger than him - he’s 66, just retired. she is still working in the nhs, a reasonable job. they recently bought a house together. my dad has been putting off making a will because he doesn’t know what he should do - he wants to leave his estate to his children, but with his wife having a lifetime interest (is that the correct term?) allowing her to live in the house after his death without having to settle up with his inheritors (me & my sibs). but he isn’t sure how long he wants this time to be - until her death? a shorter period of time? he is very clear he doesn’t want to leave it all to her, as he wants his children to inherit his estate - she has no children. so just interested to hear any suggestions about what would be reasonable so i can help him work it out.

What about if either party needs care? What about enabling the house to be sold when your df dies and buying a smaller flat in your name for step mum to live in until she dies?

Has she put money into the marital home?

yes, she put money in - i think roughly 1/4. they are the kind of tenants that have separate shares, i forget what’s it called!

thinking about care is a good idea. my dad has savings too. i’m not sure about her - she will inherit from her parents who own two properties.

It has to be until her death, surely? Kicking her out of her home when she’s 70 or 80 or whatever would just be cruel.

tbh that’s what’s i thought hedda, i was surprised to hear that my dad was unsure about what to do.

although i should note that they live in a large grade II listed home that i don’t think she would stay in on her own as lots of work & upkeep. it’s worth about £600k.

Has he discussed it with her

I think the standard is death or remarriage.

Care costs are the big issue here
Morally I think it should all go to her if any left after his care costs taken.

Not sure why he doesn’t feel that way and sounds a bit sad tbh. I will imagine the upcoming conversion wit her will cause ice upset esp given he is discussing it with you.

You risk looking rather unseemly if you are advising him how to ring fence his money away from her

Say he dies and she potentially has 20 -30 years left to live - can she not sell up and downsize and use the money as income? Are you saying she has to leave money for you in the future?

What a miserable old age she may end with.

Kids need to make their own way in the world

We did it by dh arranging for me to buy out his kids so 8 could continue to live in our home but they wouldn’t have to wait for their share of th3 cash. Might not hav3 worked if we weren’t in a fairly ordinary house...

not sure how many discussions they’ve had as my dad hates difficult conversations & would rather put them off! he didn’t tell any of us he had married her for 6 months (he left our mum for her after 25 years marriage). that’s why i’m thinking about as it will help to prompt him with thoughts.

stiff i know my dad feels he’s worked hard for his money & he would rather it went to his kids than to her nephews (beneficiaries of her will). they’ve been together 5 years or so, so i don’t think he considers it to be wealth they’ve accumulated together, if you see what i mean.

i actually had assumed we wouldn’t inherit anything from my dad so i was surprised to have this conversation with him about his uncertainties.

My FiL has his will that his wife can stay until death. Which given the length of time they will have been together is very fair (imho) - I don't actually think she will as I think she would go abroad where she has more family. But kicking her out so the children could sell the house would be very unfair. -- The only thing I can forsee becoming an issue is if the house needs some major work doing. She won't have the funds and the other brothers (who already own part share) are not allowed to visit when she's there - so I can't imagine they will want to contribute to the upkeep. But we can deal with that as and when.

If his wife stands to inherit from her parents who own two properties, she's unlikely to be destitute. Given that she owns a quarter of the house, which you think will be too difficult for her to look after in old age anyway, wouldn't it make sense to have it sold when he dies and her get 25% of it to buy a smaller property?

i don’t think she would be destitute anyway? she was already in her late 40s when she met my dad, with her own house in a nice area & a profession, paying into a pension etc, so i assume her finances don’t rely on my dad.

if he dies intestate, i assume it all goes to her?

Intestacy rules:

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/

Your dad really needs to go and see a solicitor. There will be a variety of options available to him. Also, your Dad may not die first. Has your stepmother made a will since they got married?

thanks luzina so my dad really needs to write a will as he currently holds money actually belonging to my sibling (i can’t remember why, it’s an inherited lump sum, i assume my sibling wants to keep it for a deposit but currently living abroad so thought it was easiest for dad to hold on to it).

If he died intestate she’d get £250,000 and half of anything above that, and the children would split the rest.

good question about her will! not sure. my dad says she will leave everything to her nephews, but don’t know whether that’s in theory or in an actual will! my dad knows he needs to write a will but has been putting it off because of difficult conversations as is his style. he’s had two operations recently & both times has emailed me a ‘will’ (just an email!) so he does know it’s an issue.

If the house is much larger than is appropriate for a single person with no visiting children then I see why he might think that it’s reasonable to expect her to sell it and downsize within 5 years or so. Even if the will doesn’t “force” her to do that, a properly drafted life interest can deal with the downsizing situation - it’s a fairly standard situation and a solicitor can advise.

Do urge him to get the will done.

Honestly I think it’s only fair if its until death, remarriage, or she moves.

Tenants in common, with a lifetime interest, would mean each own a share of the property and that share could then be left to whoever in their will. The lifetime interest bit would mean the surviving partner can stay there until their own death. It also means that the whole property could not be taken into account for care costs, if needed.

It can whatever he wants within reason. I suspect as she may not want to live in such a big house and she put 25% in to it anyway that it might be fairer to say if he dies she sells within 3 months or remortgages to pay out the 75% to the children. he could even put 50% now into the name of the children if he wanted to although if it goes up in value (probably unlikely as property is dropping currently) the children would have to pay capital gains tax on the share.