Can I accept school place without exe's consent?

[Bensonforbeds]

Ex is a nightmare. Abusive, controlling etc. My DD has been offered a place at a school (private) Can i accept the place? Ex won't come up with an alternative, just says he'll veto this school. I thought perhaps I could accept it, and if he wants to block it he can take me to court. But would the school accept my son if they know the Dad isn't in favour?

Seeking legal advice is a good idea, but If you've clearly laid out the options & reasons for your decision about the school placement AND your Ex really (and I mean literally) has objected in such a summary way without giving reasons then I would proceed with the application and let your Ex formally respond with a Prohibited Steps Order. I'd like to see how that plays out on the basis of the information you've given. I think a judge would find your Es's behaviour unreasonable unless he gives concrete reasons and definitive suggestions for an alternative school.

I would proceed with the application and let your Ex formally respond with a Prohibited Steps Order

I am suggesting an SIO as it keeps the OP on the front foot rather than putting her on the back foot opposing a PSO. It also removes the risk of her ex not bothering with an order and instead persuading the school to withdraw the place on the basis of his non-consent.

@prh47bridge

See your point on SIO v PSO - SIO probably the safest option. Shame that a parent trying to do the right thing in the face of unreasonable objections has to incur these sort of costs.

This is odd. On my phone I can see four responses on this thread from 12:30 til 16:30 but on my desktop those four responses have disappeared..

Oh OK found them! Odd!

lonecatwithkitten can i ask what the outcome was?

FTCarer and PRH4 thank you. That's what I was worried about; that he could just veto without even going to court.
If I go for a SIO does it take ages??
I might speak to the school and see if they'd allow my son to start in the face of his Dad's objection. It seems unlikely, but they are sort of aware of our current situation and my son's current school are very willing to fill them in on the details

Can you back to court for a Specific Issue Order? He can’t demand you pay boarding school or he’ll refuse the private one. Also if he’s gone for and got 50/50 why does he want to pack him off to boarding school? Smacks of a man avoiding paying child support and still financially and mentally abusing you.

@Bensonforbeds in the end he didn't object he likes the bragging rights to his DD without any actual real work being done.

Out of interest, does he say why he wants boarding school and whether he is willing or able to cover the fees in full? Whilst I would not have considered it at 11, private schools often change at 13 so can you kick the decision back until then? My dd has loved boarding (from 16 though)

It's pretty standard for private schools to require all those with PR to sign the admissions form (or indicate consent separately in writing if not local)

What is required on the forms you have, OP?

Yes, I think this will probably have to end up in court. And ASAP, so the school offer is not withdrawn because you cannot sign up within the typical deadline. Talk to the school and see if they can be flexible about the timing for the paperwork (IME experience, they've seen it all before and are more sympathetic towards parents who explain what's going on than they are to those who just seem to be prevaricating for unknown reasons)

Ghostisagoodboi Gosh you've hit the nail right on the head! He doesn't pay for a thing (not even pyjamas or a £7 school trip) Said he would fight for 50/50 so he didn't have to pay me anything.
He wouldn't pay for boarding. He wouldn't pay for day school. Or ANYTHING. He's made that clear. Because I receive the child benefit. Lol £20 a week.
I'll check whether their forms need his signature. But I worry even if I sign he'll just email them and threaten to sue or something and scare them off (he likes threatening that. Never does it) The school seem sympathetic and the current school are VERY sympathetic as they've had 4 years of him..

I have a similar ex. Only he’s penniless and lazy so stopped the threats after about 7 weeks and hasn’t seen our DD since... Been years now. I don’t doubt he’d be the same as your ex if he had the money.

Go back to court. Watch as he gets his arse handed to him.

Explain the situation to the school including that you take full responsibility of the fees. I doubt any email of ex to school will be problem. School will take notice only of court orders. If he has an issue, he is the one who should go to court. And I do not think the judge will take lightly the fact that he wants to withdraw the child from school with no alternative. Especially if it is a good school. Your ex will have one hell of a case to win.

Busy I'd love if that was the case! I wanted the onus to be on him to go to court, hoping then he wouldn't bother..
I think it'll depend on the school's view- if there are scared off by him denying consent. The current school can talk to them and say he;s a total arse. Lol.

My email from the school says to accept the offer of a place, please pay the deposit within three weeks of receiving the invoice. Maybe just paying it means he is enrolled??

What does your son want? Choice of secondary school isn't just between the two of you.

k