Ex threatening court - advice please

[onceuponadaydream]

Hi all.

Just after a bit of advice please. I have two children aged 7 & 5. Ex has threatened to take me to court today after me stating that the weekends he sees the children (EOW, he collects Saturday AM, I pick up Sunday PM), need to change. I am not reducing any time, just changing the dates he is due to have them. They have school & club commitments that fall on 'his' weekends, and he refuses to take them. Switching the weekends around means these fall on my weekends so the children are still able to attend (I will take them) and his weekends are not impacted.

Apparently this means I am extremely unreasonable and he is taking me to court.

I should add that the Sat/Sun is the only time he sees them in a fortnight despite living 10 minutes away. He has no involvement in their day to day lives and doesn't even speak to them by phone in between contact. He has never attended any school event (parents evening, nativity, sports day), or any extra curricular activities. I left him in 2015 due to emotional and financial abuse when the children were 3 & 1, and have had sole care since that point.

What could I expect in court?

Thanks.

In the first instance expect to be told to attend mediation. You will need to go to a MIAM - one to one mediation info session.

Beyond that literally no one can advise. That's the shitty thing about family court. You simply can't predict an outcome. Have you spoken to a solicitor?

Does he work the alternative weekends that they’re not with him or something? My husband had to say no for that reason when his ex wanted to swop weekends. If there’s no particular reason then he’s being awkward and unfair on his children. You could calmly remind him it’s to help his children out rather than to be difficult. If he can’t see that let him go back to court if he likes, he’s not losing time with his kids, I can’t see a court taking him seriously.

I can't advise much regarding the courts but it sounds like you have good reasons behind the change.

Has he explained why it's not working for him? In my experience threats like this were exactly that,.threats designed to scare me.

@Harland I haven't seen a solicitor yet, the threat was only this afternoon. He doesn't like not getting his own way, and expects everyone to arrange things around what his wants are. It may just be a threat but I would rather be prepared.

@honeyroar no, he doesn't work the opposing weekends. Just a 9-5, extremely well paid job (think £80k + private work). The only reason I am switching the weekends is so they can do their activities. Even at 7 & 5 they are already making noises about not wanting to go to dad's as they are left to their own devices on electronics.

@BedraggledBlitz no, no explanation. I feel like it is probably just a threat but the years of abuse are making me doubt whether I am being reasonable or not.

Well don't panic, he's probably just stomping his feet cos he doesn't like being told what to do.

Just tell him 'great - be good for the kids to have some clarity and consistency'.

@BedraggledBlitz I hope so. I'm not sure what to do next. I don't want to back down as I am only making the change for the benefit of the children. They will miss out on scout camps, school fayres, birthday parties etc if the weekends don't change.

Do nothing, let him throw his toys out of the pram . Court is a threat lets see if he does it. This is actually where he will show his true colours just keep going knowing you are doing what yr children need. Remove all his control your children will thank you in the long run and if he threatens to walk let him

I suspect he's not going to take you to court. He's unlikely to get anything other than short shrift from the judge.