Going back to court after 9years

[MichelleStarek]

Hi guys. Wondered if I can get any advice here. Basically, after 9 years of “co-parenting” with my ex - having a court order done in 2010 for contact and residency and also prohibited steps order for removal of child. We are now heading back to court. I have been taking my son on holiday for the past 2 years as the father never did, he never planned holidays so mainly I had to rely on childcare during all half terms and other holidays. This year I booked the tickets to Poland for 10 days, told the dad that we are going, and he burst in anger! He said he won’t let us go, as he’s got the plans... the problem is, i e asked him number of times about his plans, started asking last year as my work needs the annual leave for at the desk by end of January. He told me he will let me know.. never did. Anyway. We have to go to court so I can ask permission to take my son on holiday. Seriously, the lack of willingness and communication from the dad side is ridiculous, not mentioning zero interest in my sons education or financial support (he does not pay CM - the case somehow was closed!) now, that he knows we want to go, he tells my son bunch of lies (my son is only 10), but he told him that I accused his dad of rape years ago, and he got pinned back to the go round by the police and arrested, apparently what he said - he was released without charge and instead I was arrested for false allegations! Which is completely untrue! He also tells my son that I am liar and emotional abuser! He has shown my son some old Facebook messages that I have exchanged with his family! My poor boy is so confused, it’s taking talk on his education - he is in year 5 atm and we are preparing for years 6 Sats. I am extremely worried it will take a toll on him. I have filled in application to court, to get permission, as I know if we won’t go (my son loves visiting his granny and grandpa, his cousins are there too as we all gather same time each year - my sister lives in Germany) he will be crushed! What chances do I have to persuade the judge to let us go? And will I get in trouble for taking my son out of UK last two years? I am so worried that the dad will play a victim and I will be the bad guy... please help

If you have residency you can take your child out of the country for up to 28 days without approval from the other parent.

If you have the residency, he cant take him away without your consent. If he hasn't given you any notice of what he is planning and it isn't over his normal contact time then its tough luck.

Do you have evidence, texts etc of giving him reasonable notice or showing that is an annual event? Also get on to the new CA company tomorrow and sort out child support, your son should be getting some money from his dad. Whether you spend it on living costs or put it in a savings account for him.

I always notify ex in advance and in writing (screen shot of text) of dates I am planning to take DD away and the offer of swapping any days that are in his time for future ones. It shows plenty of notice and a reasonable adjustment to contact time.

Unfortunately I don’t have any evidence of the conversation as we were speaking face to face. But I do have a text stating that he want to have him for two weeks during summer, but now he is twisting all around saying that he said he wanted DS whole summer and apparently I agreed. I Will try to contact CA as I would like to put some money aside for my little one. Before the dad would refuse to pay and present the ca with evidence that he paid me through vouchers- which I never received! At the beginning they gave me a £5 a week as apparently he was broke... now he bought £22k Mercedes... so seems he isn’t that broke anymore.. also we have prohibited steps order though, this one I think makes difference with removal from the UK... thanks for your advice!

• [Post edited by MNHQ to remove name]

@MichelleStarek I have reported your post as you put ds name in

You have an order saying that your son lives with you. Unless the prohibited steps order specifically says you can't take him out of the country you don't need the father's consent for this holiday, nor do you need another court order. If the PSO is about something else and doesn't say anything about holidays it doesn't alter anything. It is up to the father to take you to court if he wants to stop you.

Having said that, if you have evidence that your son's father is engaging in parental alienation (i.e. trying to turn your son against you), you should consider applying to court to vary the order, reducing his contact and possibly getting it supervised.

Even if you do need consent for the holiday, you will have no problem getting a court order for a genuine holiday and you will not be in trouble for taking your son out of the country in previous years. But, based on what you have posted, I would be very surprised if you need the father's consent.

What does your court order say regarding residency and contact?

What does the PSO prohibit - for whom?