Birth certificate and parental responsibility problem

[Redroses17]

I gave birth to my Daughter this year , the father and I have never been in a committed long term relationship but after our daughter was born, he was pressuring me to put him on the birth certificate , threatening me with court , in hind sight I shouldn't of left this scare me and he's now on the birth certificate which I really deeply regret doing for a number of reasons. Looking back now he wouldn't of likely been able to take me to court if I didn't put him on the certificate due to the costs of doing that.
I feel angry at him and resent him for it even though I know it's my own fault for not thinking it through and realising what I do now.
Just to add father of my child does not pay for her , only wants to have her without me being there but will not come over to see her.

I'm terrified because he's on the birth certificate that if i we're to let him have her for abit he might suddenly decide he doesn't want to bring her back when we agreed to and because he's on the birth certificate he wouldn't have to because of having parental responsibility of her.

Like I said I regret putting him on the certificate I want to change it back as I feel I've put him on the certificate when I didn't really make that decision to purely out of my own choice and will , I felt almost obligated and forced to do it.

The question is how to go about trying to change the certificate back?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated x

You cant change it, he is her father. They would only amend it if the fathers details were incorrect

I hate the idea that "putting" a father on the birth certificate is some kind of honour at the desgretion of the mother. Did his sperm make the baby? Then he IS the father and DOES have parental responsibility. sorry OP but grow up. you're clearly still a child yourself and if you see it like this i question whether you are of stable mind to make such significant decisions. You child is no bargaining tool. Naming the correct father on the birth cert is for the childs bennefit.

You need to go through cms to get a financial contribution. You cannot change the birth certificate or pr itself unless a new partner adopts the baby, with his consent.

My dds father isn’t on the birth certificate, but I fully intended him to be, he requested dna right at the time I was doing it so obviously didn’t mind not going on. When dna came back (as I knew it would) as him he didn’t bring up birth certificate. He’s paid every month since she was born, if we ever fall out he brings up birth but as soon as we’re fine he doesn’t again....

Eventually I need to just sort it out for him as it’s for the child not parents. Go through csm for payments and depending on her age he shouldn’t be able to have her for long times without you. Apply for legal aid, when I looked into it dds Dad would o my get awarded two hours on a Saturday. Mines breast fed, but with babies they need their Mum. Courts don’t give hours of contact as contact is more for the Dad xx

As an aside, there is a difference between acknowledging who the child's father is and putting that name on the birth certificate. Changes in the law mean that parental responsibility is now automatically conferred to the father named on the birth certificate, even if parents are unmarried. Before with unmarried parents that was not automatic.

So a father can have absolutely nothing to do with child, provide no financial contribution but still have all the rights of parental responsibility and invoke them at will. This can be a problem.

Sorry OP that you find yourself in this situation. I hope you're able to get some advice on the legal side of this.

Thank you for all your advice and comments
@mumtoboy123 : i don't see as having a father on their child's birth certificate as an honour as you put it , I'm just saying it's hard to co parent and share parental responsibility with the other parent when you don't feel you can trust that person. If my father of my child was coming over and seeing his daughter and chose to communicate more with me the mother of his child I would probably feel more at ease but because he's not ,the trust has not been established , I don't need to grow up I need my daughters Dad to understand he needs to communicate more openly if he is to co parent and take care of his daughter with myself. And I am fully aware my daughter is not a bargaining tool , don't quite understand what your implying there I would never bargain my daughter for nothing from anybody tbh, she's my child and I don't see her as a bargaining tool in the slightest.

And I think I will try get some legal advice on the situation even if removing him off the birth certificate is not an option perhaps I can get a contact agreement put in place so it's set in stone when he has our daughter and it's not such a constant worry and thanks for helping me clear this up as I feel I have more of an understanding but will still look to seek legal advice to see how to go forward from this

@redroses17 you not getting along with him and not trusting him is a seperate issue than him being on the birth cert. You cannot let your personal feelings towards him effect this. A birth cert is a legal document to register the existance of a human being and where that person came from. He is the father, he should be registered as such. You wanting to not do so because you dont like him and some of his actions should not come into consideration when registering the father of your child. He is still her father. Whether he chooses to be her dad and a fatherly figure is another issue completely. Mothers shouldnt get to choose these things. You are both her parents. You both have parently responsibility because you both made her. The only time this shouldnt be the case is when a father gives up his rights (adoption or sperm doner situations).

You can apply for a residency order. This will give you reassurance that the police can intervene if he didn't bring her home one day

It wasn't the best of my decisions putting my sons father on his BC. But at the end of the day he is his dad and that won't ever change.

But I say its a big regret because of all the stress and questions I have faced when getting on with our lives. At the end of this year my sons dad won't have had any contact with him in 4 years, so most of my little boys life. No calls, texts, cards, presents....nothing. He told me one day he was choosing his girlfriend and was drawing the line. And that was that.
Yet having him on his BC meant that he still had PR.

I haven't let it rule my life. We have just got on. He is brought up by my surname and always has been and this is also accepted everywhere. The only thing where I do get questioned is at the airport but I always fly with his BC as proves I am his Mom.

Some may disagree with this but I do not believe my son deserves to have his name when him and his family and all chosen to be out of it, so he has no connection with them