Child not returned from contact

[paintwater]

Need help! Can’t find any info online on what to do apart from take him back to court which obviously takes ages.

7yo DS spent this weekend (from thurs) with his dad. First full weekend with him (have been building up contact gradually as he wasn’t very involved for first 6 years) and longest DS has ever been away from me. He’s supposed to drop him at school on the Monday however as it’s a bank holiday I asked him to drop him at home instead. He hasn’t and is refusing to, says he’ll take him to school tomorrow instead. Ex lives half an hour away and I can’t drive so can’t go and pick him up.

DS was really worried about being away so long anyway so he’s going to be really distressed.

We have a court order in place. Am I able to phone police or will they not do anything? What can I do?

Paint it's horrid when you know an ex is doing this to score points against you rather than to spend time with their child.

Totally agree phoning school in morning and asking them to confirm he's arrived and also he's ok.

Also keep screenshots of all correspondence that shows you e disagreed to this and asked for reasonable things like video calls. It'll be useful when you go back to court

If you don’t have a court order specifying return there’s nothing the police can do.

Please don’t request a “welfare check” unless you think your child’s actual welfare is at risk. If you know he’s likely OK, maybe just a bit upset, it’s a waste of police resources. Go round yourself if you just want reassurance.

Keep records and copies of messages.

bluebluezoo have you actually read the thread? The court order specified that his contact ends at school start time on the Monday. I can’t go round as it’s half an hour drive away, I can’t drive, my mum cant drive me as she had leg surgery a few days ago so isn’t allowed to drive, there’s no public transport and I can’t afford a taxi, plus I have no idea if they’ll actually be at his house

Could you go to school tomorrow so you can see your son before he goes into lessons? At the very least ring to check he's made registration.

SunshineCake I’ll be phoning them first thing to make sure he’s there and make sure they’re aware of the situation so they can keep an eye on him, he’s always exhausted and emotional even after one night at his dads but school are very understanding and he gets one-on-one time with the family support worker when they think he needs it

My school will call me if they are not at school on the day he is meant to drop them straight school.

What I mean in my last post was that courts should be better at making sure gaps like this don't exist.

I would be really interested in what happens when you go to court. I can't summon the energy when he's not sticking to this one.

CupoTeap the school do call if a child isn’t in by 10am but I’ll call them anyway so I can explain the situation to them. It’s ridiculous isn’t it, and there’s so much information out there about what to do if you haven’t got a court order or if it’s the resident parent denying access but nothing for this situation! And it’s a pretty common situation too unfortunately.

Paintwater

I hope you get this sorted in the morning. It's really not fair if your ex to put you through this but he knows that and is just "exerting his power"...try to sleep well xx

Ask the school to record him as unauthorised absence. When you go to court you will have evidence.

When you go back to court make sure public holidays are explicitly mentioned. If it says holidays are 50/50 he could reasonably (though still wrong not to discuss in advance) say he's having this bh you the next. Unfortunately too many parents see contact as a points scoring exercise against their former partner rather than putting their child's needs front and centre. Communication is key and he actions are inexcusable

Just had confirmation that is at school today so will have him back this afternoon!! Thanks everyone

I’m going to send off the court papers this morning (already had them half filled out but obviously can’t leave it any longer now) and hope they consider this a good enough reason to have a ‘without notice’ hearing because I can’t give him the chance to do this again

Good news op. Please go a bit earlier to speak face to face with his teacher. Ask her how he has been, if she would be prepared to write a statement if necessary. Keep a diary of things /ds behaviour op.

Good news.