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Legal matters

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Solicitor letter from sons father

6 replies

Mummy20198 · 03/05/2019 15:41

Does anyone have a similar situation?
My 3yr olds father hasn’t been around much since we broke up a year and a half ago. Wants to see son whenever he feels like it ( could be every two weeks or two months ) He hasn’t paid maintenance in over a year (he has a well paid full time job) when we tried to arrange days and times etc for him to take our son he would constantly just not show up. My son although only 3 has realised this and if I mention his father or ask if he wants to see him he says he doesn’t. I received a solicitors letter out of the blue seeking access (I never denied it ) a lot of lies in the letter and so on. I don’t feel it is a safe space for my son to be as his father uses drugs (denies it) has hit me before and his current girlfriend ( she told me this, we get on well as we both want what’s right for my son) he does not take safety into consideration (let son try to drive a car on his own) he thinks bad language is acceptable so whatever I teach my son it’s gone out the window when he comes back from seeing him. I understand the importance of a father but surely not if he acts like this? Would I be wrong to deny access? I only want what’s best for my son. Finding this very hard as feel letting father have access could be the wrong thing as it’s my job to protect my son but denying access could have long term affects on my son?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 03/05/2019 15:47

You need to retain a solicitor.

Mummy20198 · 03/05/2019 16:29

Yes I am in the process of doing that. Was just seeing if anyone had a similar situation

OP posts:
3xcookedchips · 03/05/2019 17:29

You dont need a solicitor at this stage - save your money for you really do need one..

Reply to the solicitor and ask what schedule he wants and make reference he has been inconsistent in the past.

AddCoffee · 07/05/2019 15:31

I agree with 3xcookedchips, reply to the solicitor and ask for a schedule.

You could also suggest mediation if you feel confident that you could speak to your ex with an independent person there to assist. The benefit is that you can then hear your ex's points of view and he can hear your concerns with a view to reaching a agreement you both can live with.

I think it's smart that you've made friends with the ex's new gf as she can hopefully help reassure you.

ems137 · 07/05/2019 15:57

You could reply by saying that due to massive inconsistencies in the past you feel that he should prove himself to be committed this time by building up contact through a contact centre (at his expense)

octonoughtcake3 · 07/05/2019 16:04

I’m a little confused by your post - do you want to allow access or not?

You need to start a claim for child maintenance.

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